I am in a relationship with a wonderful woman who goes through cycles of a healthy normal love to distance and mistrust. She opens up for awhile and loves fully and completely, then she gradually closes and retreats in her own world. Because of her sexual abuse as a child. I realize she has problems and needs help.She knows she needs help. How can I HELP HER AND ENCOURAGE HER TO OVERCOME HER PATTERNS OF INSTABILITY. She is currently in therapy, but free therapy does not seem to help .She has changed with some medication.still tends to cycle from great to worse back to a wonderful relationship
2006-10-21 06:06:01 · 4 answers · asked by underblend 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Maybe it isn't the history of abuse but other problems in the relationship that she just doesn't know how to deal with and the history of abuse is a handy excuse. Or maybe she doesn't even realize it is an excuse.
I don't really see anything different in her cycle than the cycle of many relationships (but I'm not there). If she isn't as loving as you would want her to be then find out why. I can almost guarantee that it is present problems rather than past issues.
2006-10-21 06:18:12 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem like such a nice person,so just keep on loving her. Any one who has come from an abused relationship needs all the love in the world .No one really can understand how mixed up she feels but you being supportive is a good start. What about you enrolling in a course at the local college , psychology , maybe, just to gain access to how these women are helped through therapy. Try phoning any helpline and tell them you want to know more about ways you can help this lovely lady.Maybe the Samaritans can advise you,they are brilliant. My love to you both, good luck.
2006-10-21 13:31:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
please just try to be patient and try to work with her listening is very important it may take yrs for her to deal with this and some of it will never go away i was in a bad marriage for 23 yrs and abuse was horrible i am in a very healthy marriage now and my husband and i have never even had a fight but regardless i still have flashbacks and things pop up that will never go away i know that my husband loves me and will never hurt me but something as simple as the electric bill being high makes me cringe because i know what kind of response i would have gotten before sometimes when you have those bad memories you just want to crawl in a hole and shut out the world and you cant control it good luck love her and listen no matter what it is she needs you you must love her and be a strong person to deal with this alot of people wouldnt have a good day and dont give up
2006-10-21 13:50:32 · answer #3 · answered by angel afraid and sad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a therapist who is knowledgeable in the field of sexual abuse. Here's a site: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ppc/prof_search.php?iorb=4764
It's a very specialized, misunderstood field.
2006-10-21 13:23:14 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋