We were discussing something he purchased and he asked me was it my money he spent. I have not talked to him all day. Please help.
2006-10-21 05:38:05 · 27 answers · asked by ameerahteal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Talk to him when you're calm. Words said when one is calm are somehow scarier than when you're angry. I suppose because you're showing how serious you are, and not having a "snit."
Tell him that his attitude was very condecending. Remind him that it's not 1800. I would say that if that's really what you think, we need marriage counselling. Grrr! I would add that he's only embarrased HIMSELF in front of your friend - that she pities you for having such a caveman husband.
Sorry hon. My husband slips out with crap like that every now n then.
2006-10-21 05:42:32 · answer #1 · answered by Black Parade Billie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I understand you correctly you were disussing something your husband purchased to your friend. If he got upset over it I would assume that you may have been unhappy about this purchase and maybe he felt you had no right talking bad about his decision to your friend.
This was an assumption but that is how it sounds. ANd if this is how it was then I can't say that I blame him. However...
Two wrongs don't make a right....
I would be upset that he spent money that typically belongs to both of you without your consent or consideration then claims it was HIS money. If this is the case then I would definately discuss it with him in a way that isn't accusing him of anything. Simply tell him how it makes you feel when he doesn't consult you in such matters.
2006-10-21 12:58:48 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should discuss how you felt with his rudeness in front of your friends. You as a couple should treat and show each other respect with and without others around. I would think that as a married couple that it would be "our" money and not yours or my money anyway. I would ask him that if he felt in the future such personal matters needed to be discussed, to please be pulled to the side or wait until there were no ears around. Tell him how you feel. You should be able to do that as a married couple.
You do need to talk since communication is an important part of any relationship. Don't let it ruin your day. Talk it out and try to have a good make up session.
2006-10-21 12:44:58 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When he asked you was it your money he spent you should have said, "Was it yours?" Then there's your answer if it was yours then it was mines as well. I don't know what your problem is , but all that was not caused for in a normal conversation. Don't you ever disrespect me in front of company like that again or I'll let you see how that **** feels." And leave it at that. Unless of course your afraid he might get physical with you. If that is the case then you should tell him after all your stuff is packed and he's at work. Call him on the phone and tell him," You know what I think about you and your money? You can take it and shove it you know where." Then hurry up and leave. Seriously!
2006-10-21 12:56:41 · answer #4 · answered by kryptonnite2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discussing about his purchase in front of your friend was being rude to him too. Start the conversation by acknowledging it, an apologize. Then tell him that you felt hurt and embarrassed when he did that. Accept that you might have embarrassed and hurt him too. Tell him that from now on you will wait to be alone with him before making any comment. Ask him to do the same.
2006-10-21 12:42:34 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok, a problem came up that you were not expecting.
it's like when my ex girlfriend got angry about my driving, and I used to say to her don't make a big argument about it while I am driving because I want to keep my mind on the road, not defending my own point of view. if it's important to you we can discuss it calmly at another time.
anyway, your husband reacted in that way because he thought you were criticising him in front of your friend.
so there are two issues here.
one is that you two haven't worked out a plan for money in the marriage,
two is that there is an issue with giving and receiving constructive criticism. there is an art to engaging and discussing things in a way that the person receiving it doesn't feel as though it's just nagging!
2006-10-21 13:05:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him in private about the situation. Ask him if he would be ok with you being rude to him in front of his friend or family, and that if he is rude like that again, you will do the same. He needs to respect you at all times. When I have a problem with my husband I usually pull him to the side and talk to him about it. If that don't work then I mirror his behavior back to him (show him what its like).. Good luck, but do talk to him about it, he won't know unless you tell him.
2006-10-21 12:43:53 · answer #7 · answered by magnolia_76 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Set him straight and tell him it was "our" money that he spent. And next time, save your financial discussions for the privacy of your home and not in the public forum of your friends.
2006-10-21 12:42:15 · answer #8 · answered by HappyBunny 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it appears to me that he did not like what you were saying in front of your friend about what he had bought, so maybe you were the one being rude if you were complaining about what he bought if that's the case i would have snapped at you too. if that's not the case then you need to ask him why he did that. you are suppose to be adults but you are both acting like children by not talking about something so simple.
2006-10-21 15:13:10 · answer #9 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, make sure to have sex before dealing with this so that you don't use sex as punishment. Then, when you are finished, tell him how he made you feel with what he said. He's sure to be more receptive while in a post-coital state than when he's watching a football game.
If he doesn't care or it happens again, dump his ungrateful *ss!
2006-10-21 12:43:26 · answer #10 · answered by OU812 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋