You can look at my previous questions if like also, but yesturday as if i dont have enough stress on my life my husband has told me that his mom says if we move out the city of ohiladelphia which I hate she will disown him, I have four kids all my family is in Harrisburg pa ,first off we cant afford to live here the cost of living is too high, second the violence here is crazy over 300 killed by murder so far this year! I am much more comfortable in harrisburg and I have been working with a mortgage broker in Harrisburg and he has been looking at the houses with me telling me he was going to move back to Harrisburg with me. They are from Nigeria and his mother is in Nigeria at least six months out the year with her son which is mentally challenged, she doesnt try to control my husbands sister and brothers life but she wants to control my husbands every move, he asked me not to tell my mother or family what she has told him because my mom and his mom has already had confrontations.
2006-10-21 04:24:19 · 12 answers · asked by TOKISA NEED HELP PLEASE, THANKS 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
At this point, give him the choice - stay married to you, and live in Harrisburg, or divorce and go live with his mother.
You have to think of your children, now. Are you really willing to put them at risk to appease his mother??
2006-10-21 04:27:21 · answer #1 · answered by Shaken Not Stirred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This situation will be very simple! You 1st off have a husband who must stand up as a husband and let his mom know the severity of your family situation. You have children to raise and you refuse to raise them in an enviroment such as the one you are in. Mother in law is just being selfish and inconsiderate. If she doesn't understand that you and your family isn't happy nor doesn't feel safe where you are, and has found better then she'll just have to deal with it. Yeah, you only get 1 mother; but she'll later understand and if she doesn't then you'll have to deal with her according to how she'll let you. You are a wife, someone else child, maybe aunt,cousin, sister, and most of all a MOTHER you mustn't send your children nor your husband through unnecessary trials and tribulations when you have options. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL SOMETHING TRAGICALLY HAPPENS TO LEAVE. Leave now! You live for your children, you don't have time for mother in law to live your life. If your husband don't want to leave because of his mom then you try to make him then if he doesn't leave then you must go. If you are a believer then you know that when you are married your spouse comes first. You aren't leaving because your being spiteful, your leaving because you can't afford it, and it's a bad enviroment for your children. Talk to your husband and pack your bags! Please don't wait until something tragic happens then you'll be upset while saying you knew you should've left. You want to leave because your intuition is telling you to. Warning is always before destruction. Remember that! You don't have to tell your mom, if you take motherly, and wifely actions, mother in law feelings is to no avail! YOU ARE A MOTHER! Don't let her being nigerian intimidate you! You a woman before anything else. Its not that you are disrespecting your husband; your family life is at state! Hope you've made a decision, I hope i helped!You and your family live your life. Your mother in law lived hers
2006-10-21 04:56:58 · answer #2 · answered by "The Dark Angel" 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you nor him should not be telling your moms anything. you are a couple with children and need to make the decisions based on what the two of you think is best for your family. as far as his mother goes, let her say what she wants too.he has a life of his own now and needs to cut the apron strings once and for all. maybe his mom is not really upset of his moving more jealous that you two want to move closer to your mom. she will get over it. do what you need to do to protect yours.
2006-10-21 04:29:45 · answer #3 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What can you personnally do to change the world, think about it. Move forward and enjoy your life and world. If everyone in the world lived by the golden rule(treat people the way you would like to be treated)(do unto others as you would like done to yourself) what a great world this would be.
2006-10-21 04:27:47 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if its not safe for your family and you cannot afford to live in philadelphia, you need to move. if your husbands' mom wants to disown him, that is her decision and her fault. last year i was disowned by my dad and step-mom, but now they are seeing the error or their ways, and the same will come to pass with your husbands' mom. the most important thing for you to do right now is to care for your family and finances.
2006-10-21 04:29:15 · answer #5 · answered by Syd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try explaining to her the truth that its too dangerous for your kids to be raised there and you can't afford to live there anymore. Tell her we have to think about whats best for the kids.
2006-10-21 04:33:52 · answer #6 · answered by DAVID S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is scared and trying to threaten him to stay, but I really don't think she will disown you two. You have to do what is best for the children, those are the ones you have to protect.
2006-10-21 04:28:18 · answer #7 · answered by ltlchk_2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey it is you guys life, not hers. She needs to learn to let go!
2006-10-21 04:26:49 · answer #8 · answered by day dreamin baby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i didn't know situation like this were on yahoo answers. get counseling.
2006-10-21 04:25:33 · answer #9 · answered by The FFX Blitz ™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to seek marriage counsleing or get 2 homes......
2006-10-21 04:28:14 · answer #10 · answered by Doni 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋