We have been together off and on for the past 7 years. We never argued and now we tend to a bit.He says anything he used to ask me to do I did it. TRUE He won't do anything for me, but when his freinds call and want something he runs to do it. He says I'm jealous of his freinds. That hurts me bad, Im really not jealous I just need help from him. I ask him to fix my muffler 2 months ago, it never got done so i waited and then i got a new job to where it had to be fixed so i got the shop to do it for $85. He said i would've done that this weekend, you just wanted to spend money. That is not true I just needed my car fixed. I love him but he drives me insane with some of the things he does or dont do I might say! Yes I knew all of this b4 I married him. Which I should have waited to get married. I'm gonna stick by my vows unless he commits adultry but I just want him to consider my feelings and needs. He also has a smart comment about almost everything. He works but so do I plus 3 kids.
2006-10-21 03:29:56 · 7 answers · asked by jjkk 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Darling you knew him for 7 whole years you should have waited? come on you knew how he was you just need to up your self esteem and you know it.
2006-10-21 03:49:32 · answer #1 · answered by Amber C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The both of you need to sit down together. Turn off all cell phones, home phones, computer, and any other communication device that might interrupt. Have a small ball. Only the one with the ball can talk and when the person is done talking you pass it on. Absolutely do NOT break the rule by talking when you don't have the ball. This all may sound corny, but it WORKS. If he's not willing to sit down and discuss things, then he's a jerk.
2006-10-21 10:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by harry_potter_kid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he want to get married? He doesnt sound too caring about the marriage or your feelings.
The part that bothered me the most is that you plan to stick to your vows unless he commites adultry. You're going to let him treat you like crap until he cheats? I dont get that. Everyone deserves to be happy. Im all for working on a marriage but if the other party (your husband) isnt even interested, I dont think you should stick around. Theres no way my husband would talk to me or treat me like yours does you.
2006-10-21 12:02:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your question is "how can I make it better"
it seems to me that seven years hasn't made it better.
what makes you feel optimistic now??
between the muffler and the smart comments .. haven't you worked out that he doesn't respect you?
I guess there are a number of ways to try to improve the situation, but the one I am going to offer is: open a bank account in your own name and put something into it each week. DO NOT let him know about the account.
Because you need to practise respecting yourself.
Also, you should encourage your children and your husband to participate in the housework (if they are not already doing so).
Because I suspect part of the problem is you have forgotten to timetable leisure activities for yourself.
2006-10-21 12:04:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't it sad how married men take their wives for granted and neglect and passively abuse them in ways they would never consider doing a friend or co-worker. (Once my wife got that way ... I reminded her that I wanted at least the amount of consideration she gives her co-workers, and she straightened up.) Realize that he just slipped into this mind-set gradually; it didn't happen overnight, and he probably didn't even consciously think about it. He just needs a gentle, friendly, positive reminder that he needs to take care of you like a real man would. The language, and whatever fringe benefit you offer to make it meaningful to him, I leave to you. As for the smart remarks, my sister-in-law said it best: "When you want to criticize your spouse, take time before you speak to phrase it in the gentlest, kindest manner possible ... and then don't say it." Works every time.
2006-10-21 10:39:23 · answer #5 · answered by David W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off how do you change that much in 4 mths. and could be he's feeling really nervous about knowing he's now married. you ask him or he ask you? seems to me you should have known each others in's and out's by now. as for money i have tried myself to never agrue about money because you'll never have enough. good luck.
2006-10-21 10:40:55 · answer #6 · answered by Rooster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you're married you will argue once in awhile. He isn't considering what he's doing. you should point out what hurts you that he does...or you could have a girl's night out once.
2006-10-21 10:32:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋