I am not sure if I am, but I want to know how other people have done it. I need info...Do bi's also 'come out' or do they hide mostly? If I am interested in girls, I am not attracted to the typical looks girls have, it's more the butch look/or at least short hair. I have long hair. Do most lesbian cut their hair to 'come out'? Do you have to dress any differently? I mean, I am aware of some young lesbians' garbs with piercings and all (which I find to an extent attractive). But I am not that brave!!! I think they're brave to be able to proclaim to the world they are. I come from a very conservative (no-forgiving) family who will NEVER understand if I ever did decide I want to pursue this discovery. I want to conform to society, yet I don't in a way (if it means not being true to myself). But all in all, I want to find a safe place where I can be myself and be safe, but not necessarily confined to a region. I just want to have the right balance in expressing this sexuality.
2006-10-21 03:25:24 · 10 answers · asked by summation 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Be true to yourself and come out to those your comfortable coming out to. Some people, such as myself, out themselves to everyone they meet. Others only tell their family and close friends. Some don't even tell them and try to hide their dating life from everyone. Not telling someone can hurt the bond that you have with them because of the lack of open, honest communication. Bisexuals should also come out if they want too. Not coming out, as well as a million other things, have hurt bisexual's acceptance by BOTH straight and gay "societies." Be prepared for the person's reaction before you come out to them though. Some people can surprise you and others can react just as you expected, both in a good way AND in a bad way. I waited until I moved out and they had nothing, legally or financially, that they could use against me when I told them. I've gotten a wide variety of reactions from family, from acceptance to a cold shoulder to denying that I exist. The thing about the people that have s problem with it though is that it's their problem, not yours.
As for "becoming a lesbian," just live your life the way you want. If you like wearing your hair long etc, just do that. Your sexuality is just one facet of who you are. As for safe places, there are places where some gays and lesbians tend to gather. Larger cities tend to have a stronger GLBT community or at the least are more tolerant.
2006-10-21 03:51:01 · answer #1 · answered by carora13 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please don't cut your hair in order to *conform* to what you have seen other lesbians do. Myself, I like long hair-so, you should definitely not change the way you look. I have plenty of straight friends who have a lot of piercings, so I don't know how that works with being gay.
You will know you are ready to come out when the time comes though. Some people never come out unless they are asked-that is, other people see them getting close to someone of the same sex, and they ask. That can be the time you come out. What works for one person will not neccessarily work for the next.
I wish you luck and blessings in whatever path you choose.
2006-10-22 04:59:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh please....
Right i am a lesbian with long blonde hair and look "normal" what ever that is ????
Hate that word normal ok , girlie ????
Why do you even think these things , once again our fookin society has a lot to answer for.
Yes we have the boyish style and girlie, whatever floats our boat,!!!
But you don't need a shaved head, piercing (ummm) or anything else other than being truthfully to yourself.
Just be yourself women, experiment have fun, who care's if people look or judge , don't they do that anyway !!!!
You don't need to be brave you need to live your life to the full while you can...
Society, how we should and shouldn't look , how we should or shouldn't feel is crap man...
Get yourself on the following website meet every kind of lesbian and open your mind ...
gaydargirl.com
Please chill out , stop worring and enjoy your life ....
be GAY be Proud....
2006-10-21 10:09:25 · answer #3 · answered by loulou777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. Nope, you don't have to cut your hair short nor need to dress up like one to show your a lesbian. The tipping point of my 'coming out' was when my girlfriend and I really dated within our school campus. Inevitably, my classmates were curious because we were both very intimate. Surely, they soon realized that we had a love relationship. They were shocked, but later accepted me for who I am and for my decision. There were those who got over the issue later than the others. I have piercings too but it doesn't impose any social status in society. I have these out of trend. And sometimes, I do wear baggy clothes, but it depends on my mood. I'm a lesbian but I also love to wear skirts and cocktail dresses... hehehe... Just be yourself, ok?? And just by being yourself, you're sure to find someone who'll love you dearly for who you are.... ^_^ You'll get to be friends with other lesbians too, and form a unique friendship. That's the very fun part.
With respect to your family, I'd rather you not telling them. They're better off not knowing your real sexuality; otherwise, they'll disown you. That's what my parents told me when I joked them about my lesbianism.
2006-10-21 03:43:46 · answer #4 · answered by zira 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My Dear, I'm straight, married, middle-aged and I never understood why a gay person had to "come out". It doesn't make sense to me. Straight people don't "come out".
And...I understand your attraction to masculine women. I find them fascinating and handsome. But I don't think being a lesbian is a certain "style". It is what makes YOU happy. If your family is non-forgiving that is their problem. Just go about your life as you would and one day, they will figure out what is going on. You don't have to "come out". You should be striving to be true to yourself as your said and you will feel safe when you learn to love who you are. You can express your sexuality in your private life and just roll with the flow. God don't make junk, honey. You are perfect as you are. Life is way too short to worry about what everyone thinks. godloveya.
2006-10-21 03:57:03 · answer #5 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you don't have to change your appearance. Why should you express where you are attracted to? I didn't change myself after I came out to some people. I only felt more comfortable with myself, so now I can act more how I like to do. (I supressed those feelings first, but now I think it is allright and I don't care about others opinion about me) I prefer to have short hair, but why should you go to a hairdresser to let it cut of. You only would like to do that to show others you have a different sexual 'preference'. (if I understood you properly).
do what you feel comfortable with. If you like to be pierced a lot, than you could do that. If you don't like to cut your hair of, don't do that.
hope this is a bit usefull,
greetz frenzie-ann
2006-10-21 06:50:16 · answer #6 · answered by frenzie-ann 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, calm down. "Coming Out" is as simple as saying, "I'm gay." That's what I did with my parents. No, you aren't required to cut your hair or anything like that. I know lesbians with long hair. I know I cut mine, but it had nothing to do with me being gay, it was just because:
1. It had long for a very long time
2. I donated it to Locks of Love
There's no dress code either. We are normal people, just like everyone else. Some of us just prefer to dress certain ways. (You'll never catch me in a dress lol) If you are gay, just come out when it feels right. To some it's sooner, to others it's later. Coming Out is done on your schedule, and no one else's.
2006-10-21 04:32:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, what you have to figure out for for yourself is who you are, what you want, who you are attracted to. and, when YOU are comfortable and ready to do so, then come out to someone you trust...someone you are close to.
and, you need to ignore stereotypes and generalisations you see in the media...that's made up by straight people anyway.
there are no hair cut or dress code requirements. no required way you have to "act." just be yourself. most of us no one would ever know by how we look or act that we are lesbians....
check out the websites below
2006-10-21 04:37:04 · answer #8 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get it tattooed on ur forehead
2006-10-21 03:42:19 · answer #9 · answered by comsopaul 1 · 0⤊ 4⤋
you start studying feminism,,they will get the hint
2006-10-21 03:35:00 · answer #10 · answered by betty 1 · 0⤊ 5⤋