Detention @ School?

Question

My 12 year old has just started secondary. He has forgotten to do a few pieces of homework, but he has done them. He went and Apologised to the teacher for not handing it in on time and gave them the piece he should have done, and on a couple of occassions he had done it, put it in his bag, but told the teacher he had forgot it...he now has detention after school. I saw his form tutor and told him he wouldn't be attending the matter is resolved, but it's not in there eyes, i keep getting stroppy letters home! I am behind him every evening making sure he has the required school stuff for the following day, the adjustment from primary to secondary is huge.

Great answer Zuffin!!

And as for beating them Grow Up and lets hope you don't have any kids

English/Are you aving a laff icon - I hadn't realised i was being marked thank you...how rude are you?!

I am by no means a mother who thinks she has 'ANGEL' children, defo not! And my friends think i am far too hard on my children. I tell them that i am not their mate i am their Mother, your right there is a vast difference.

Researcher - Respect...i tell you something i am very strict with my children, and as one the answers states below the non handing in of homework doesn't fall in the same catagorie as swearing at a teacher. Now the same son was attending football club after school earlier this week, the children were croweding round the teacher for a demo he asked them all to move back to give him space, he was moving back but not at the speed the teacher wanted due to the fact he had people behind him...the teacher then said 'Your not special Jack...special needs perhaps' so there's your respect RESEARCHER, and thats from a teacher...NICE!!!

Answer 1

it is unfair when kids go to secondary school. people go on about when they went to school they got hit with the cane, but times have changed. when kids get to yr 7 they get it harder then the yr 11 do. im in yr 11 now & i've seen more yr 7's in detention then any other year. Teachers think by giving detentions constantly that it will help discipline the child when in actually fact it gets worse cos the yr 7s rebel in later years to come. we have a card system to help cut down on detentions now. if you miss homework five times even after second chances concluding in having 5 signatures on your card you carry then you automatically get a 45 minute detention. it works.

Answer 2

I'm a teacher at a secondary school. I know the transition is very difficult what with all the different subjects and so on. Some children take longer to establish a routine, and some are just very forgetful. I take it he has a homework diary, which he is using correctly? And you say that you are checking his bag so that he has the right books etc? It would seem that you are doing your best to help him in that way, but at the end of the day he has got to learn to do all that for himself.

With regard to the detention, I would suggest that you support the school. I am also a mum, and while I understand your concerns, you really should support the disciplinary procedures of your son's school. A detention or two might make him a little more organised and also take the pressure off you. Let them do their jobs.

Answer 3

yes that is a big adjustment!!!! But part of the adjustment is learning 2 be more responsible. Detention IS punishment, but really it's also helping your son 2 be more responsible. Detention might actually be the best thing to help him adjust. Think of it this way, detention is NOT fun, so your son will end up trying his best to avoid detention. Also, this will teach your son to become more organized. Being organized can help your son in responsiblity because he'll KNOW whats due, KNOW what he has, and KNOW what he needs to do! And also the BIG picture is to help him to succed in life. School is like having a job, like docking someones paycheck for example except detention is not as bad as not getting paid for your hardwork and things. I'm not knockin you or anything but next time if he gets detention and it is for a reason related to this in some way or another, help your son to not get in that kind of "trouble" and maybe talk w/ some of his teachers and couselors to find ways to get your son more adjusted to this big education and surroundings jump! I hope this gives you another good point-of-view and helps!

Answer 4

Lunch detention SUCKS! I've had it before but its not as bad as after school detention. In lunch detention, you miss about 30 minutes. And in after school it interferes with our personal time.

Answer 5

Here we go again. Is it not surprising that our youngsters are growing up with no sense discipline or respect for authority When a teacher introduces some discipline the parent makes a fuss, and refuses to allow the punishment to proceed. No wonder Society is in such a state. I don"t think people realise what education was like in the late 50"s /early60"s. Homework every night, from every subject taken that day. No excuses for not handing in on time. Not just detention either, each master had his own method of punisment. This was the era when going to university was an outstanding achievement, not "just the norm" We had fun in the 60"s but we also had respect for our elders and for authority.

Answer 6

Lots of my students, even though they know my homework policy (no late homework), think that "I left it at home but I swear it's done" is acceptable. They think that "I forgot" or "I lost it" are acceptable excuses for not having their work with them, and unfortunately, they are not.
On the flip side, I don't give detention for not having homework, they just get 0 out of 20 possible completion points, but zeros add up quickly when they have homework 4 nights a week. However, I always give them 2 freebies because I know life can get out of control, stuff really DOES happen sometimes and the homework just doesn't get done, no matter how good the intentions are to do it.
You will have to keep on your son until he learns organization! That's your job as the parent. If you let him slack now, he'll slack forever. I have seen so many parents at conferences who wimp out because they don't like to play the bad guy in disciplining their kids, they want to be their child's "friend" instead of the parent. Don't do it! It's hard, but later on, he'll be thankful, and so will you!

Answer 7

Homework involves recording what the task is, completing it by the time set for its submission and handing it in on or before that time. Failure to hand it in regardless of whether it has been completed to a level that would gain a Nobel prize means it will attract a punishment.

For any parent to take the view that the school's use of punishment for the misdemeanor when it is clear that you understand that your son did not fulfil the requirements set may well undermine the school's and that teacher's authority in your son's eyes.

It would be preferable for all parents to support their school and teachers, all of whom are working for children's and therefore Society's best interests.

Answer 8

Please don't be one of those mothers whose son can do no wrong - there is nothing worse. I think if he apologised he did the right thing but some teachers are going to have it in for anyone that does this apology or not. They cant be seen to treat one pupil different from any others who do the same thing. It is a huge step and you would think there would be a settling in period for them and maybe this is something that the school should be taking into consideration. I think you need to set up a face to face meeting with his form master and the teacher involved

Answer 9

Sounds to me like just another example of the OTT pressures we put on our kids in school these days. I am 34 and went to a good 2ndry school - we hardly got homework and if we did forget it, we wouldnt have been dished out a detention! That was for really evil stuff like swearing at a teacher or wrecking something.

I think you need to be balanced. He has to learn that he must comply with school rules, and yeh, they may be crapp rules, but in life we all have to follow crappy rules. However - you sound like a good, principled person. Stick to your guns without singling out your son as being too 'different' from the other kids - but let your kid now that you will stick up for him and yes, you will challenge 'the powers that be' if you disagree with them.

This way you will be teaching him to take responsibility, whilst being able to negotiate with those that have the power, rather than just meekly doing as he is told all of the time.

I think your son will grow up to be full of character and to stand up for himself and for others with a parent like you!

Answer 10

detention is a part of growing up. disciplinary actions are needed for those students that don't abide by the school's policy. i understand if your child forgot his homework 1 time but more than once shouldn't be accepted. if the teacher gave your kid special attention about letting him slide about homework every time then the teacher would have to allow all of their students to slide every time they missed or didn't do their classwork. by saying that he doesn't have to attend detention just shows how mature and parental you have become. the matter hasn't been resolved until he realizes what he has done. it's his fault for not remembering to bring his homework everyday. he shouldn't rely on his mommy to defend him every time. once he goes onto high school and college what are you going to do? are you going to tell his teachers that detention isn't necessary or failing him won't be necessary just b/c he forgot to study for a test. shame on parents and kids these days for trying to cheat their way through life and education.