Unhappy married guys - how did you get that way?

Question

I know a man who is unhappy to the extreme in his marriage, his pretty wife is a total disrespectful shrew to him and his kids don't appreciate him, but he slogs on, obviously unhappy, and the only person who doesn't know it is wifey (kids do). But if you ask her, she says (and thinks) all is fine. Guys in this situation, how did you get this way, and why do you put up with it when life is so precious and there may be such limited free time left for you? Please let me know.

Answer 1

i know a person who was married for 10 years with 2 kids. Had to put on a wry smile whenever we met and said he is very happy, but he wasnt so one day he vent out his anger and became free. I appreciate the man in the mirror. Do you?

Answer 2

you know what, I will have to ask my husband about that too. Seems like we are both in the same boat here, but just to answer this question. Probably one of the reason why married guys feel that way is because no matter how the wifey tries to reach out or do things for the hubby. The husband is still not satisfied. Sure you have your heartaches and frustrations, but have you really reached out and placed yourself in your wife's shoes. It's a tough job being a wife specially when there are kids around. I just hope husbands would also consider the fact that after marriage things are more serious and there's a certain level of relationship that needs to be develop or else everything fails. You just don't expect us to be supergirl everytime you know

Answer 3

Men and women enter into a marriage expecting more than can ever be received. They think they have found the perfect soul mate, get married and will live happily ever after. No problem with that. Then when the cinderella live happily ever after honeymoon period is over, real married life sets in and the once upon a time cinderella picture begins to change and nothing is as it once appeared. This is where the "true love" begins. You start seeing your partner in a different light, dreams begin to fade, children come along, and then the stress and responsibility of everyday life coupled with a family and married life starts challenging the best of people. Stress in people affects people in different ways and thus how people handle stress begins to surface and each handles it differently. Everyone has a different level of stress they can handle and each his own breaking point. Together love can conquer all but divided itll rip us apart. So when our dreams begin to deterriate, out happiness begins to go down too. It goes hand in hand. Then we begin to take it out on those we are closest to which is often those we love the most. Denial that a problem exists in paradise is the worst problem of them all, but acceptance of a problem is the first step to resolving a problem

Answer 4

I am not a guy but simply put, he probably feels trapped. If he leaves, what will the quality of life be like then? Will he be happier or will it cause more stress financially?

I would encourage this guy to seek counseling with his wife. Even if she thinks everything is fine, she needs to hear why he is unhappy. She could very well be upset about certain aspects also. These all need to be brought out into the open and discussed.

Answer 5

The kids are the number one priority with him. He knows or may feel they need a mother. As with all situations it's hard to advise on a matter when you only hear one side of the story. Sounds like his wife is an enabler and he is a parent. This is a bad situation if that's the case. I would hope he would confront her and openly express his feelings. Not that she will give a dam but it helps to put your cards on the table.

Answer 6

Because the only thing worse that being unhappy married guy is becoming unhappy divorced/paying childsupprt forever/paying alimony/living in a trailer/only seeing the kids on weekends guy. Society is very hard on the second guy and finances play a big role in most peoples decisions.

Answer 7

i got unhappy when my wife had a misscarriage and i cried with her and then she gave me attitude that i didnt cry with her

she got pregnant shortly thereafter and after the birth of our child our sex life has been awful

im unhappy with it

the connection is gone there is a disconnect
not just sex but romance

i dont leave my wife cause we have a son with a disease that needs chemotherapy, and we are 60 grand in debt, and leaving now i fear would leave me with paying my wife thousands of dollars a month forever, plus the credit card bills,

and i cant do that alone

there was a woman i feel in love with and if she had moved closer to me i would have left my wife for her and tried to make it work if it was meant to be a forever thing

Answer 8

I got that way with my ex because I was too weak to get out of it. My ex wouldn't go to therapy and wouldn't do anything to try and help fix the relationship. She was fine, so why the hell should she care about me? I got out and I'm with the greatest lady in the world now. You friend needs to first try and solve the problem like I did, as that's only fair to his family, but he's gotta have a backbone first.

Answer 9

hi to rebel chick 69! good answer babes

.....but i dont think that would work for this couple....because wifey is happy (presumably), and its hubbie who needs to assess whats going on for him. maybe he should try to work out what is making him unhappy....we all have to work, kids are great, not sleeping alone every night is nice.....once he knows what makes him happy he can make steps to change it....

waffle waffle....etc

Answer 10

I don't know, perhaps some of the answers to your question will enlighten me for I am clueless as to how I got here.