I met her a few days ago. She was crying in the hall by my door when I came home from work. I asked her what was wrong and she said her boyfriend and the father of the baby cheated on her, then left her. She said she lives upstairs. I told her to calm down and go home, also if she needed anything she could knock on my door. She knocked last night. She asked me in a really low tone that she wanted to sell me her cd player for $10. I told her not interested. She said she wanted something to eat so I gave her the money. I felt guilty, I was in my apt getting ready to go out to dinner with my boyfriend and here is a pregnant woman hungry. I left for dinner and saw her on the corner of my block. I could tell she didn't go to eat. I get home from a night out and she is in the hall on the steps, high, on drugs. I went home and cried thinking it is my fault I hurt a baby. This morning I saw her under the steps sleeping. I told the super who was outside. Should I do anything?
2006-10-21 02:29:12 · 20 answers · asked by Yisrael Chai 3 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
***Please understand that when she came to my door, she did not seem to have a drug issue. She appeared to be a poorer pregnant young woman. If I knew this, I would have given her food instead. I have since gone the the Precinct near my home and mad ethem aware of the situation. The super of the building never called the police like he said he would. Also, this was not meant to be in sociology, I just tabbed too fast.
2006-10-21 06:22:11 · update #1
Call social services and get her some help immediately. They can take care of her, offer her food & shelter & help with her emotional problems.'
2006-10-21 02:37:37 · answer #1 · answered by Bluealt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Almost my whole first trimester now I've had cramping near my left ovary. When I first became pregnant and was 5 1/2 weeks the pain was so severe I thought I was miscarrying. I also had heavy bleeding. I was rushed in to get an ultrasound because they feared an ectopic pregnancy or a miscarriage, but they found a healthy yolk sac and not even a week later the baby and the heartbeat. I miscarried my first pregnancy in August at 7 1/2 weeks. I woke up in the middle of the night with the most intense pain in my stomach that I have ever felt and when I got up and went to the restroom there was bright red blood and clots everywhere. I knew I had lost the baby. If you aren't bleeding then I wouldn't worry about it. Cramping is quite normal throughout pregnancy. Your uterus is expanding and adapting. However, if you do start bleeding and the cramping becomes worse seek help. Good Luck to you!
2016-05-22 07:27:35 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has nothing to do with Sociology, which is the study of Social Groups and how they fit into Society, but I feel a compulsion to answer your question regardless, as I feel sorry for both you and this woman.
It is pretty obvious that this woman is suffering. However, at the moment she appears to be a danger to herself and to her unborn child. Simply giving her money won't help - for all you know, you could be funding a drug habit - although you should not suggest this to her at all cost!! Pregnant Woman can be emotional too, so you've got to be careful how you tread!
I can't comment of the amount and types of help available in America as I am British, however, I suggest you contact a hospital, doctor, local council or suchlike and find out ways in which she can recieve specialist help.
It's a really horrible thing to see, and I honestly feel for the both you - please make sure she gets help as best as you can
Tom W
Sociologist
2006-10-21 03:57:52 · answer #3 · answered by Tommy_Boy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would advise her to seek councelling. If you have an old blanket or sweater in good shape, I'm sure it would be appreciated too, as its getting to be the cold season, and a pregnant girl has NO business being exposed to the elements. I hate to say this, but giving money is a poor choice to that sort of person. A greater kindness would be some food, maybe a sandwich and milk. It is not your fault, do not blame yourself, she is hurting and thinks this (the drugs)will take away her pain; she is of course horribly mistaken and completely wrong. All that crud will do is make things much worse!
2006-10-21 03:44:41 · answer #4 · answered by Dat MrE Guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES YOU MUST DO SOMETHING!
The woman is pregnant, and I'm sure she is happy to have life inside of her that she will soon be taking care of, the woman must be responsible enough to be able to care for the child. If her boyfriend left her, trust me she can walk two blocks on NY and find another man.
The more important thing right now is the child. She may need food or whatever, but she is using drugs and while killing herself she is potentially hurting her child. You must bring this up to her.
Does she have any family? Any friends?
Go to the police, and see if you cant set her on the right track as a concerned citizen. If she is that much into drugs, then she will sell that child for it. But if she loves it and wants to have a life for herself and the baby, then she will gladly go to any rehabs or meetings she needs to.
Talk to her about her situation, if she wants money to get food because shes hungry. Make her something, or take her out to eat. Dont just give her the money, cause then she can do whatever with it.
She needs someone to lean on, and you don't know her(Hi I'm a Stranger!) but she will be grateful that you guided her down the right path.
Not to mention make yourself feel better.
2006-10-21 02:42:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't be so harsh on yourself. You did what you thought was right-you gave her money because you believed she was hungry. What she did with the money you gave her is not your responsibility.
I wouldn't give her anymore money, however. If she says she's hungry, give her some food or invite her out to eat with you paying for it.
If this persists, she is using you and taking advantage of you. You could let the super know. Or you could contact a social service agency who may be able to help her.
2006-10-21 06:47:18 · answer #6 · answered by Big Bear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if it was me i would offer her food but not money. i would offer to drive her somewhere to get help., like a shelter. but not give her money or take her in.
you need to remember that she is creating her own reality, and you can't change her. you can be kind to her, but only she can change herself. giving her money, unfortunately, only allows her to buy drugs "to ease her pain" and if you let her in with any belongings, you may only be able to get her out through the eviction process.
if the landlord doesnt' act on it, you should call the police. she will be safe, cared for, and fed in jail.
i'm not being mean, just objective. i'm a nurse and have 4 daughters, and i would rather they be in jail than homeless and using drugs while pregnant.
*hugs* you are a good person. good for you for caring!
2006-10-21 02:43:40 · answer #7 · answered by georgia2 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Once a gift has left your hands (money or a friend's gift), it is no longer your responsibility for what use is made of it, so don't sweat it.
However, do not give her any more money under any circumstances. If she comes to you again, give her the number (don't let her use your phone) to a woman's shelter. She is an adult and has made her choice.
2006-10-21 02:41:13 · answer #8 · answered by Taffy Saltwater 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You could call the police...say you suspect she is a vagrant. If she is obviously high, they'd be able to take her in and hopefully get her and the baby some help. Don't feel guilty, though...what she did with your money wasn't your fault.
2006-10-21 02:33:31 · answer #9 · answered by benjilove 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I lived in NYC, now Long Island. Don't bother talking to strangers. They will exploit your generosity until they drained you out. Your first mistake was to be nice, in other parts of the country that's good, in NYC that will make you a target. Play the situation by ear, but refuse to be generous, it will only hurt you in the long run.
2006-10-21 02:34:15 · answer #10 · answered by mac 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋