my partner has been singled out for no reason since he was a young child, by his mother
he is the offspring of her and former husband .
his brother whom she also had with the first husband .
she treat him (the brother)nicely but when it comes to my partner she uses him for all sorts of reasons,
he doesnt usually open up emotionally to me but when she gave him 2 nice shirts on his birthday , he thouht it was a gift for his 27th birthday but instead she made him pay her for the unexpected so called gifts.
she also has 3 other children with her second husband and expects my partner to buy christmas, birthdays and also give chinese new year money to each of them on every occasion.
if he doesnt then he will be told off and screamed at like a littlle child.
anyway with his real brother( the one younger then he is also with same fathers ) she just recently bought him new washer and dryer for his apartment,free of charge.
why is she so slack to my partner ?
help!!!
2006-10-21 02:27:30 · 6 answers · asked by asian_smartie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I cannot answer the why part, that is something only his mother knows; however, I have been there, and just recently, after 7 years of it, I couldn't take it any longer, and I confronted his mother about it. It seems to have helped a lot compared to the way it was. Maybe it will work for you as well. It blew up on me at first, but after the fire settled, everything was better for my husband. And 2 days later, she called me and wanted to see me, she gave me a hug, told me she loved me, and thanked me for opening her eyes to what she was doing to him. All you can do is try it.
2006-10-21 02:41:25 · answer #1 · answered by JJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a really painful situation. It sounds as if she uses your partner and is disrespectful towards him. You and he need to ask yourselves some hard questions here: Do you really want to continue a relationship with this woman? If so- are you willing to set some limits with her? If not, how will he fill the void without his mother in his life?
2006-10-21 09:31:01 · answer #2 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have no idea why she does this to him, maybe because he allows it. he needs to put his foot down and stop letting her do this to him. he is 27 years old. its time to start acting like a man. and he needs to tell her that he does not want b-day gifts from her, that if he needs something he can go to a store and buy it him self, that he does not need her to buy them then ask him for the money and as for having to buy these other people gifts. no he does not, he needs to stand up to her and maybe you need to convince him and show him that he does not deserve to be treated this way.
2006-10-21 09:42:25 · answer #3 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should distance himself from her... even though it may hurt his feelings... and he should not allow her to disrespect him. The gifts should cease. He may never know why she treats him differently... so, he should just ignore her understanding that personalities can sometimes be twisted and there may never be a good explanation for it... but it's not his fault.
2006-10-21 10:16:17 · answer #4 · answered by dena_lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know, sounds to me like she isnt a very nice person.. maybe she doesnt like you, i dont know.. but i think its time to leave, and move far away and stop talking to her.. if she cant treat him like family, and how he deserves to be treated, she doesnt deserve to have him in the family.. maybe you need to ask yourselves if its worth the pain of having her in your life, or having the pain of not having her in your life..
2006-10-21 09:32:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
who cares why, it just is, and it's his to deal with. If it upsets you, tell him so and tell her so too.
2006-10-21 09:30:13 · answer #6 · answered by David B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋