20 years divorced and have never commited to a man since then...and if i did.. would it work? after being by myself this long...my sign is virgo..so i am a very loving..honest woman...and believe in family values...have raised two beautiful children all by myself...married now..llives in another state...so i am lonely now and feel that i am ready to share my life with some one....but will it be possible after 20 yrs being on my own?/
2006-10-21 00:21:11 · 19 answers · asked by nightirene45 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes i would be willing to change ..besides i all ways give in a realtionship more then i take....but some how i never find love and it never finds me....
2006-10-21 01:20:40 · update #1
The question may be "can a man commit to you"? Thats a long time by yourself, and you have gotten used to your ways. Would you be willing to change some of your ways to conform to what it would take to live in harmony? Just because you are now lonely, doesn't mean any man is going to jump at the chance to live with you. Sorry if I sound crude, but lets be honest here. You haven't lived with someone else in 20 years, and you now have your way of doing things. Would you be willing to give up some of those ways to live with another man? God... this is a tough question!! What have you got to loose? Go for it! Whats the worse that could happen? I think I would just try it, and if it doesn't work out, then you can always divert back. If you are talking about getting married again, that might be a different story. I've been married a long time, hate my wife, and she hates me, but we live together. All we do is live together, as nothing is going on between us. We stay together for no reason other than we are used to one another. We wouldn't think of having it any other way, because as long as we stay on each others side of the house, we get along fine. Strange I know, but where would I go, who would put up with me, and where else could I find someone to share the house with? My point is; if we can make it together, then you can too, it just might take some getting used to in order to work out a positive situation for both of you. There is no answer to your question! That is strictly something you are going to have to find out the hard way. Just TRY it. Good Luck, You may need it!!!
2006-10-21 00:46:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure its possible, been divorced 20yrs myself and found myself in the same position as you.
Children have all grown up, Married, working and living in other states to me.
I now have met a really kind, loving man and am very happy with him.
I know its hard especially when you have learnt to rely on yourself for so long, some things are hard to get used to, but when you meet the right person you will feel alive again.
You have to put yourself out there, but sounds like you are ready so Go For It, there is nothing worse than being on your own and lonely.
Best of Luck
2006-10-21 00:31:21 · answer #2 · answered by tassie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have you truly resolved any underlying issues left over from the divorce? Are you able to trust? If you are, and you aren't doing this to fill a void left by the empty nest, then go for it. After 20 years, you are set in your ways, but can still make room for a new person in your life. Good luck.
2006-10-21 00:33:49 · answer #3 · answered by Laurie K 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of course it's not too late. It does take commitment which you are no stranger to, having raised a family on your own, that certainly took commitment.
If you meet someone that you feel is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, I think you will be able to answer your own question.
I hope you find" mister right" and have a long and happy life together.
2006-10-21 00:32:24 · answer #4 · answered by yakity_one 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am a Virgo also. You are lonely. It would be easy to make the change and be with another man. since you are ready to share life with another man. Do not even think about it Go for it
2006-10-21 00:26:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You obviously have forgotten that ANYTHING is possible! I know that you are set in your ways and are comfortable with the way you do things. However, if you intend to commit to someone, you will have to accept the changes that are coming. You will also have to have confidence in yourself that you can do this. Just don't let the fear boiling in your belly make you run. If you truly want this man, then you have to take the chance. If not, then you will end up alone and no one wants to be alone. I wish you luck.
2006-10-21 00:25:34 · answer #6 · answered by blackwidow 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
One's attitude towards children and the husband is different. Having lived for 20 years independent of a spouse, it is doubtful if u would be able to show enough flexibility in adjusting to a new man.
2006-10-21 00:33:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have been divorced for 21 years & have wondered the same myself. I think it would work (4 me) now, but it would have to be a very compatable person & someone who wouldn't try to push my handicapped son out. ( Pushing & jealously of my son has been an issue before---But, he's my son. There is a place for someone, but have to have a place 4 my son also without resentment. Hope ya find a soulmate & hope I do also.
2006-10-21 01:36:52 · answer #8 · answered by expose.corruption 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its possible for you to find someone.a few things to consider though would be as you said that you have lived your life on your terms.
if you are lonely then get involved in your community. or join a group of ppl. with the same interest or hobbies that you have. dont start a relationship with someone just because you are lonely. that not fair to yourself or anyone else.
you may find that special someone in a group. find a friend first and then see what happens from there...
good luck
2006-10-21 00:32:31 · answer #9 · answered by bluesharpman_642000 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes! If you want to and you have found someone that you REALLY love, than commit to a relationship. My grandma went 10 years alone before marrying another man (I know its not as long as you were alone, but still 10 years ia a long time to be alone).
2006-10-21 00:25:26 · answer #10 · answered by AndyMan 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋