What makes them feel the need for this agression ? I am an 'ex' I have never once felt any anger towards my former partners new man. He treats my daughter well and treats my ex well too, so my daughter has a happy mummy... Could I ask for more ? No.
So... why did he expect total agression from me ? (he was very supprised that I was just cool with it). Shouting and fighting and threats and stuff.... wont 'win anyone back' it's over... I can deal with that, why can some men not come to terms with it ?
The worst I have faced so far, being followed down a road by an ex who was screaming paedophile at me because I was taking his ex to the pub, and had played football with his son, this was 4 years after thay had split up. I ended up having the guy arrested, but it ruined the relationship for myself and his ex... WHY ??
If youre are an angry ex, (male of female) why ? what triggered the anger ? I'm not pointing a finger or judging... I'd just like to know what happend ?
2006-10-20 23:22:37 · 21 answers · asked by mittobridges@btinternet.com 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think I would ever actually behave violently, but I had an ex who expected me to be pals with her new lover, and just didn't get it when I could not.
I still loved her. I accepted that she had fallen out of love with me, but it hurt, and to see her parading the person she now chose to be with felt like she was rubbing salt into it. She was saying in effect 'I don't love you, I don't fancy you, I don't want to be with you anymore - here is the man I do love, fancy and want to be with, and I expect you to be okay about it and be jolly good friends'
I just couldn't do it.
2006-10-20 23:35:05 · answer #1 · answered by Avondrow 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
never been there fortunately, however most likely and 99% of the time, marriages breakup at a point the person breaking the marriage is already in another relationship (cheating) before that. As such, whilst you were still in the marriage, this guy slept with your wife. That is why they are so angry.
However, if the separation had nothing to do with another person, but a choice of both parties, then usually there is no anger between the former partner's man/woman and you.
2006-10-21 06:39:51 · answer #2 · answered by jackbauer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a good question - you sound sch a nice and level headed guy, why cant they ALL be like you ??? I have an ex husband and he reacted in exactly the ay you decribe when I first met my 2nd husband. We too had the embarrassment of being called peodophile, kiddy fiddler, nonce, weirdo's blah blah - just because my 2nd husband took an active part in playing with my daughter. We got the threatening phone calls, hate mail and eventually my ex made the mistake of attacking me - I had him locked up for 3 months for that. The only reason I can think is that it was stubborn male pride. He had lost control of me and his pride couldnt take it. I simply moved on and got my life back even better than it was with him and he couldnt take the rjection or the jealousy. Quite sad really - what a pillock he made himself look. Thing is it made my 2nd husband and I even closer and we are still happy after 25 years together .xx
2006-10-21 06:33:26 · answer #3 · answered by starlet108 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I think you are one in a million. You see that your daughter is happy and she has a happy mummy. I know my ex is an ex boyfriend and was unbelievably jealous when he found that I was happy with someone else. I have no kids, but I thought I knew him enough that he would be happy that we were happier with other people. I think when an ex partner meets someone else, they expect some agression and will be agressive just in case. The green eyed monster seems to be much stronger in other people than actually loving someone so much that they would want to see them happy by any means necessary. I believe your relationship with your daughter will be much stronger. I hope you find happiness in what ever you do.
2006-10-21 06:33:49 · answer #4 · answered by Bastet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't. I have been with my wife for 8 years and brought up her children from the age of 5 as my own. They still see their Dad on a regular basis and every time he pulls up we have a chat as this is good for the kids, besides that I get on very well with him so why shouldn't we talk. He bears no animosity towards me and I none towards him. I met the wife 3 years after they had split so maybe that's why we are ok together. It would have been different if I had been having an affair with his wife but that wasn't the case. Hope that helps to answer your question.
2006-10-21 10:01:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if some of these men are just losers with a lot of time on their hands. They probably lead miserable lives in dead end jobs and lead a kind of "hand to mouth" existence where there's no way out...So to make themselves feel like "REAL MEN", they try to push other men around. The antidote to aggressive behavior is to notify the police that you are being harrassed. Negative consequences are the one thing that losers like this will respect and respond to.
2006-10-21 06:49:45 · answer #6 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is normal to feel hurt about a man/woman replacing you. Like that person is succeeding at something you didn't or couldn't.
I have not personally experienced this, but I have seen it - both with violent male exes and vindictive female exes. It's not that they want the other person back - I don't think - it's the hurt that their ex is moving on.
2006-10-21 06:27:09 · answer #7 · answered by Zana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a great question. I asked my dad this once and he said that "Humans are alot like animals, we are very territorial....and like to be and remain 'in charge' of our domain." That seemed a fair answer at the time........but four years is a long long time. I think sometimes it's because they are still in love with the ex, and hope to scare the new person away.....
2006-10-21 06:28:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great question, if you could find a way to put this in a pill, you could be come a billionaire, and a bunch of people would live a mush better life. Call the pill the ( its over pill).
2006-10-21 07:19:44 · answer #9 · answered by meatball288001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its all about ego and pride.
but there can be other things that trigger this i hate my ex's partner but i wouldnt well i try very hard not to yell at her but she hit my child so stuff the cow. but its a case of dont mess with a mother and her child but i think that goes with heaps of species
2006-10-21 07:32:49 · answer #10 · answered by mrs nevz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋