he denies being the childs father , for the only reason that his parents dont like her being a girl . cant get him out of his family . please help
2006-10-20 21:29:46 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh my.
He will either grow to love her or be distant from her always.
You cannot change his thinking.
You can however put her in his face continually, that is if you really believe she would be better off being involved with him.
If not, then I say leave it be.
Sometimes it helps love grow when you have no choice but to see yourself in another person and that can happen in spending time with them. I hope that this man grows to love his daughter.
mandy
2006-10-20 21:37:16 · answer #1 · answered by cking_pOise... 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you cannot force something that should have been there from the start.
Get a paternity test. He can deny it all he likes after that, but he will be forced to take care of his responsibility to the child if found to be the father.
And what kind of parents does he have that they are unhappy because their grandchild is FEMALE???? I didn't realize that they could put an order in as to the sex they desired for a grandchild. And no MAN would deny his child for any reason, let alone based solely on the fact that his mommy and daddy didn't want him to have a girl of his own. LAME!
2006-10-21 00:04:02 · answer #2 · answered by madevali 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are really up against it here. A DNA test would determine paretage, but then he has to be willing to do that. There has to be something very wrong if it's because his family don't like her because she's a girl, perhaps there is more to it than that. If his family feel like that, they have a problem, and if he is influenced by that he has a bigger one still. On the face of what you have written, you and your daughter would be better off without any of this family. There are other men out there who would love you both, and I hope you find one, because a situation like the one you are in can only lead to pain. I sincerely wish you and your daughter a happy future, and a decent loving family.
2006-10-20 21:41:39 · answer #3 · answered by jonquilblack 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why do you want a father like this for the poor child, you cannot make someone love another person.
i think you should let go and move on afterall its the childs feelings that count in this relationship and your not doing the child or the father any favours by forcing a relationship on them both.
im sure you want the best for this child, one loving parent is better than having no parents at all
2006-10-20 21:37:51 · answer #4 · answered by ♥fluffykins_69♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is horrible that you should have to make a father love his child, but if you encourage him to spend as much time as possible with her and don't make a big thing of it you know no pressure on him, this could help, offer him a DNA test and when this comes back positive he will not be able to deny her and sometimes men just need to know. personally I would not want him to have anything to do with her!!!! But I understand that in some circumstances this can be difficult if you want your relationship to work. hope all goes well, and as long as she gets love from you she will be fine.
2006-10-20 21:37:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you're in a difficult position.. Let me just say this. I grew up with both parents until I was 15, and my father divorced my mother due to her mental illnesses.. My siblings and I were physically and worse, mentally abused by him all of our lives. In my family history, I was the first kid who actually had a father who stuck around, so my extended family always said to be thankful for that. He does love you, just doesn't know how to show it, blah blah blah... I was a very good child, never in trouble, and tried desperately hard to "make" him love me. Did it ever work? The answer is NO. The worst thing you could do for your daughter is force the sperm donor to come around. She will grow to realize that all of her love for him was wasted time. I often say that I am jealous of my cousin whose father was never around. There is a reason for everything.. I wish you all the best and I hope in time, her dad realizes what he has and what he has to lose. I just hope he doesnt wait too long to see it.. Just let your daughter know that you love her enough to cover for 10 missing family members. Just listen to your heart.. I hope hope hope for the best for you and your daughter.
2006-10-21 07:30:42 · answer #6 · answered by jessica m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, you can't make someone love someone unfortunately. It has to come from the heart. His parents seem to have him wrapped around their fingers. This is a problem He has and not you. Sometimes it takes some action to show him what he is missing, and this will hit him someday.
You and your little one deserves someone that loves you and your little one for being yourselves. Happiness is the ultimate goal in life. There is so much sadness in the world these days.
I hope things works out the way you want them to. Best of luck..
2006-10-20 23:07:41 · answer #7 · answered by Bastet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There might be some other reasons too. Don't rush into severe action as I see suggested in the answers.
1. Give him some time;
2. Try to have a good relation with him yourself; love him for who he is;
3. Leave dad and daughter alone sometime; not too long but as long as he feels comfortable with it;
4. Help your daughter show her affection for her dad;
5. Treat him with respect and love when your daughter is around;
Good luck and God bless you all.
2006-10-20 22:54:10 · answer #8 · answered by B i n g o 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't force someone to accept a child so don't waste time trying. You concentrate on taking proper care of your child. That is a grown man who can make his own decisions so blaming his family isn't rational. I'd leave them alone period since they do not have anything to do with your baby. There are more important things for you to deal with.
2006-10-20 23:43:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes a drop of sperm to be a father
It takes a man to be a Dad
Forget this looser of a father, and when your ready and dating again, consider if the man your dating could ever really be a Dad.
Hopefully before you do him the honor of letting him into your heart.
But make the deadbeat pay child support!
Good Luck and stay strong for your beautiful daughter!
2006-10-20 21:33:55 · answer #10 · answered by donamarie_1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't get anyone to love anyone. If you are sure he is the child's father, then see if he will agree to a paternity test. You may be better off without him though, as he and his parents seem to have a bad attitude.
2006-10-20 23:20:20 · answer #11 · answered by Caroline 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋