When he gets stressed his odd traits blend with his hyperactivity. It's like 'autistic traits on steroids' when he's at school and around the other kids. They don't like him he tells me. Can the school district help him with social interactions? Should they be encouraging others to understand him? I think he feels very alone there and it's adding to his anxiety.
He has an IEP and a diagnosis, ect. But his social self-esteem with the kids is not so good. For good behavior after several days, the children get to pick a treat from a treasure box. He told me that he got a treat that day - but that a boy in class took it from him! I about cried. He's not brave enough to say 'no that's mine' or 'give it back or I'll tell the teacher'.
Is this the life he's in for in public school?! To be trampled by the 'typical kids'? I'm looking for advice from someone who's watched their kid go through this and what they've done about it to make it better. Thanks.
2006-10-20 19:24:00 · 7 answers · asked by Cedar_2006 3 in Education & Reference ➔ Special Education
Bullying/teasing/etc. is a huge problem in schools today, not just for our students with Asperger's & other similar needs, but they are often frequently "targeted."
There are ways to help teach social skills, but also important is teaching him who is and isn't a friend (and this isn't as important now at his age, but will be when he gets a little older). For example, a friend is not going to say mean things to you, ask you to do things that you know are wrong, etc. A good book about these topics is "The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships" by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron. For social skills, try looking up "Social Stories" by Carol Gray.
Does he have a special talent, hobby, or interest? If so, I would encourage him to develop that, because it may help him feel good about himself, and may someday lead to a career. Often people with Asperger's/Autism have the ability to "hyperfocus" on a topic of interest. Temple Grandin, a college professor with autism, used her special interests and insights to help develop more humane facilities for cattle, for example.
Also, work closely with your child's teachers to be "on the lookout" for bullying. Teachers are very, very busy, so they may not be aware of the problem, and letting them know may help the situation.
I am so sorry that your son is having these troubles. The students that I have known with Asperger's syndrome are often so bright and so kind-hearted, it just breaks your heart to see how other students sometimes treat them. I think that, working closely with the school, he could be successful in public school. If you decide to go a different route, I agree with the other persons who recommended Montessori or homeschooling, if these are options for you. Where ever you decide to have him attend school, please let him know that the people who are mean and cruel to him are the ones with the real "problem" or "disability," not him.
Here are some additional resources that I hope can help you. Best of luck to your family!
Websites:
"Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew" by Ellen Notbohm - http://www.southflorida.com/sfparenting/sfe-sfp-autism,0,6196233.story
"The Discovery of "Aspie" Criteria" ~ What if Asperger’s Syndrome was defined by its strengths? - http://www.thegraycenter.org/sectionsdetails.cfm?id=38
Website of Paula Kluth, Ph.D. - http://www.paulakluth.com/autism.html
Positively Autism (free online magazine) - http://www.positivelyautism.com
Teaching Tips for Children and Adults with Autism by Temple Grandin, Ph.D. - http://www.autism.org/temple/tips.html
Books:
"Your Life is Not a Label: A Guide to Living Fully with Autism and Asperger's Syndrome" by Jerry Newport
"You're Going to Love This Kid!: Teaching Students With Autism in the Inclusive Classroom" By Paula Kluth
"Not Even Wrong: Adventures in Autism" By Paul Collins
Any book by Temple Grandin
2006-10-21 03:30:55 · answer #1 · answered by special-education-teacher 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I have to respond to crazy learner_198's piece first ... can't even call it an answer! Without apparently any knowledge of Asperger's & ADHD, s/he writes "style" as the solution!!
I am from India, and the father of an adolescent girl with low-functioning autism. So, cannot really relate much to the ground realities of US ... since IEP is mentioned, I assume the boy is in US. However, we parents have also been through our daughter's trauma with Society, and so I empathise with the boy and Cedar_2006.
Mainstreaming is not always a viable option for people having such coping problems. Try a sheltered environment for the boy. Maybe that would bring out his potential, when he doesn't suffer from the mindless behaviour of us so-called normals (neurotypicals).
2006-10-20 21:38:49 · answer #2 · answered by xyz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could be talking about my 12 yr old son.This is him to a "T".We went K-5.like this.If the teachers catch the children being mean to him she'll tell them to stop.Other than that he is on his own.Soon the kids will figure out all they have to do is say"johnny did it"" and with no social skills the teachers seem to believe the 'normal monsters". And yes some children are monsters because they will do this on purpose.After 5 years of this torture I have decided to home school and it is going well.My son finally has friends.He is confident and feels good about himself. I am just telling you what I have been through and what I decided.I am not suggesting you home school unless you want to.It has worked wonders for my son.Good luck with your son!!
You can e-mail me at kykutie38@yahoo.com
2006-10-21 02:32:14 · answer #3 · answered by Melissa C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your child's teacher; he or she may not be aware that someone has taken his reward. Your child will need help advocating for himself. You can work on this at home with him. He is in the real world, and he will need to take small steps to be able to stand up for his rights. You can work on this by role playing, social stories, and modeling the words he should use in a situation like this. It is very difficult for children with special needs, especially children with social skills deficits to be accepted and included in gen. education. I'm not saying that is right, just that it requires more work to teach the child self advocacy. Talk to the teacher. In a class with 20 kids, the teacher may not be aware that the child is being bullied. Teachers have a tough job, and need the parents and teachers and therapists need to be communicating and working on the same page. Best wishes.
2006-10-21 08:18:10 · answer #4 · answered by cindy1323 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that. I have a 20 year old son with Aspergers. Email me and I can help you or at least give you my best answers. Kids are so mean to children with aspergers and other disorders. Email me at indyred2005@yahoo.com ask anything you wish.
2006-10-21 01:52:14 · answer #5 · answered by redwidow 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't settle your child only gets to go around once- have you considered alternatives? Maybe homeschooling or a different environment like a Montessouri school.
2006-10-20 19:34:33 · answer #6 · answered by justcurious 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
style is the man ,you must have trust in yourself and try to be different and unique from the others .be helpful and be stylish in talking and acting and in dress.you have to elevate yours own imagination,the others will it self come and be happy in yours companey.
2006-10-20 19:35:15 · answer #7 · answered by crazy learner_198 1 · 0⤊ 4⤋