i am 18 and in a relationship with a 25 year old who is on deployment. i lost my virginity to him and we plan on getting married when he comes back. now my friends say that since hes gone i should experiment with another guy but i would feel guilty if i do that but then i would regret not doing anything...being that hes had experiences with other girls and i havent had any kind of experience other than with him. to me in a way it isnt really fair but i really do love him and i dont want to betray him and become one of those cheating army wife cliches. i dont kno wut to do. so id like a little advice from someone...neone.
2006-10-20 18:04:02 · 17 answers · asked by From Someone 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Are you engaged?do you have a firm commitment from this man and with him?Is he the man you want to be with for the rest of your life?What kind of friends would encourage you to betray you boyfriend's trust?Besides your boyfriend will find out.Nothing is secret in a Military community-everyone finds out everything.If you are not sure that your boyfriend is the one then maybe you should end the relationship first.Figure out what you want.You can't have it both ways and still have self respect or the respect of your boyfriend.How would you feel if he cheated on you while he was deployed?Don't be pressured by your friends.Seek your own counsel and follow through on what is right for you.Meanwhile find some healthy outlets while your boyfriend is away.Men are not the only passtime!good luck.
2006-10-20 18:15:56 · answer #1 · answered by Rosie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't cheat on him if you love him. You said he has had experience with other women. Was it before y'all got together? If that's the case it don't count. Only thing that counts in a relationship is what you do after y'all get together. Whatever you do don't listen to "friends" that tell you to do things you know isn't right.
If you do have sex with another man here are some of the things that can happen (reasons not to cheat).
1) You can get pregnant or get an STD.
2) The friends that telling you to do it may tell your boyfriend.
3) The guy you do it with might brag about it.
4) Or one of his friends might see you and tell him.
5) He may give you AIDS (a hell of a lot worse than an STD)
2006-10-21 01:17:22 · answer #2 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask if you should cheat and you expect to marry him and love him then your feelings cant be real. First of all you should have dated before you got involved with your fiance. Experiencing with other men as your friends suggest will put you in a whole different catagory. Years ago tradition was the young ladies married without ever having any physical contact before marraige and most of those marriages turned out fine. If you truly love him as you say you do then you shouldn't even have thoughts of cheating on him. I hope this helps you. Don't let your friends detroy what you and your fiance have.
2006-10-21 01:18:20 · answer #3 · answered by sharon wisechips 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r at the stage when mind say another thing and heart another. look u just spent 18 years of ur life and u have a whole life to live. so whatever decision u will take but b'fore that u must think twise b' couse it affects on ur life directly or indirectly. it is ok that u had make physical relationship but bware with next time. don't make these things again happen couse u can't know other persons mantility that what he want or not. i m also a men so i can tell u that most persons take these types of things just for enjoy and nothing. if u do again and again the other person will see u with different view and make wrong conclusion 4 u .
love!!!!!!!!! ah! a very good feeling
"love is just like candle who burn itself but give light to others ."
love is depend on ur feelings not on physicaly. and what is the surety that he should marriey u. so don't take these types of action again and forget that past and enjoy ur life b'couse there is lots of things to think.
sorry my english is not good but i read ur question and egar to give u ans for ur question.
bi ur indian friend pramod (paddy)
2006-10-21 01:21:31 · answer #4 · answered by pramod 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly.. if you were to experiment with another guy, you should break up with your guy first. I understand you wanting to experiment, but don't cheat on your man, especially if you love him. If experimenting is really that big of deal, than tell him you're not ready for a serious relationship, and that you want to shop around before settling down. But don't cheat on him, thats just wrong. How would you feel if he did that to you?
2006-10-21 01:07:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your too young to engaged in commitment, maybe that's the reason why you want to meet other guy and explore. In regards of your friends advice why do listen to them, that's your life not theirs, "Don't let anybody interfere your life". But if your intention is to make friends only, nothing more, maybe it's OK. Being a Filipina, for me it's really a sin to betray or cheat my boy-friend or spouse, why do i have to experiment with other guy if i am committed with him and love him. Let me ask you this question, "what if he betray/cheated you after he know that you cheated him, what would you feel?..." same thing of what we feel as a gal. Therefore my advise to you, "be faithful to him if you really love him."
2006-10-21 01:38:14 · answer #6 · answered by artemiza 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would be cheating, wouldn't you regret that? If you want more experiences break up w/ the guy. You're in a monogamous relationship if you weren't ready to settle down then you shouldn't have made any promises of marrying him. He should be enough for you if you love him.
2006-10-21 01:08:30 · answer #7 · answered by 7yrs2go 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him, then there should be no question about whether you want to betray him or not. But if you do want to pursue further experiences, then just ask him, and if he says "no" then don't do it. If you do cheat on him, and then marry him, you will probably have it hanging over your head for the rest of your life, so either ask him or don't do it.
2006-10-21 01:08:55 · answer #8 · answered by jordanswiener 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're young, life is short.
You really should meet some other people, however that doesn't mean necessairly sleeping with them.
And, Certainly don't sleep with someone out of spite or keeping up with the Jones. (in this case your bf)
If you are really engaged and wearing the ring .. I would think thrice about sleeping with anyone. If you do not have the ring, then you are not really enaged .. and are still in a way a free agent.
2006-10-21 01:10:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you plan on marrying him when he gets back then stay true to him. Your friends are not the ones who could regret it........you will. If on the other hand you want to experiment then you need to let him know what you are going to do and give him the option to do the same.
2006-10-21 01:08:29 · answer #10 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋