My daughter is a very sweet kind person, but people hate her and try to pick fights with her for no reason.?

Question

She is just an average person. She is 25 years of age just do not like her for any reason at all. She is very sweet to everyone. She's gotten to the point where she wants to commit suicide because people are so cruel to her for no reason and she just can't take it anymore. I don't understand why people are so cruel for no reason at all. I would like some serious helpful advice on what should I do to help my daughter.

Answer 1

try moving her out of state...??... or just move to another part of the city. if she is 25 then she should be able to make her own decisions. I really dont know and i hope the best to you and your family. I am 17 just moved from one state to another 1300 miles away and I think it did me some good. get her some kind of counceling for the suicide part

Answer 2

I'm 23 and about 4 months ago I had some problems with my ex's mother. Who had always been nice to be but started being really hateful and when confronted about it became even worse. To the point of basically calling me worthless. I won't go into details over the whole story but lets just say it was not justified at all. I know this doesn't really relate to your daughter. My point is that when my mother told people what had happen they all pretty much answered the same, that I'm a sweet and kind person and they couldn't believe how this woman treated me. For a couple weeks I was very depressed and questioning my life. I finally realized that I cannot control other people actions or how they feel about me. I know who I am as a person and I wasn't going to buy into her lies. What I can control is myself. I had control over letting go of the hurt and anger I felt toward this woman. I had control of not feeding more into a fight which I'm sure she had wanted. I had also started seeing a therapist before it all happened so it was nice to be able to get it all out.

So I would suggest sitting your daughter down. Tell her that many people know how wonderful a person she is. There will always be mean and stupid people who try to suck down people who are kind and happy. There is nothing she can do to change that. It's their problem if they are so miserable that they feel the need to tear people down to their level. She can accept getting dragged a long or she can be a bigger person then that and let the rudeness go in one ear and out the other. I think if she can do that she will snap out of this rut people have put her in. I know it made me feel a lot better when I realized it. Because suddenly I was not some worthless girl buying into hate. I was a strong person for letting it go.

Answer 3

There must be something you aren't telling us here - is she obese or does she has some kind of physical feature that is abnormal? Now those things don't make it OK to pick on someone, but they might help explain the situation to us - because for everyone to randomly be cruel to a person they don't know makes absolutely NO sense. If you want some serious helpful advice, I'm going to need some serious information. Maybe she needs some social skills training, and to be put on an antidepressant? I feel like I could help if I knew more, but there is not enough information here to make any sense of this situation.

Answer 4

It's because some people just can't accept the fact that other people are different.

I get on people's nerves all the time. I actually enjoy it. Watching people get flustered when they know they just lost an argument. By making them question their beliefs, etc.

I considered suicide many times as a child. But ultimately I never went through with it. I am no expert, but if she is considering it, I wouldn't be TOO scared. People who are considering it are at least only considering it. They are weighing the consequences, and despite what you may think, there is something keeping her from doing it.

That's not to say dont' seek help. But if she HAD commited suicide by now, then it would be worse, because it means she is no longer thinking rationally, and if she is only considering it, then she is still thinking rationally (which is a VERY good thing, and means she is willing to consider your help).

Ultimately, outside of being there for her, there isn't much you can do. I know you want to make the world a better place for her, but all you can do is help her see the world sucks, and instead of giving up, she should learn to just give the world the finger and say "I won't let you beat me". That's what I did. My life has been one failure afer another, but I keep trying. Because someday I know fortune will be kind to me.

If you would ever like to talk one on one, I'd be happy to talk and offer any help. My email is "[e-mail]"

Answer 5

You daughter may be very sweet & average when she is around you, but how does she interact with other people when you are not around? It's understandable, if they girl was in grade school or high school, but she is now an adult, and has been for many years. That sort of school kid bully stuff should have been left behind, and if it isn't, you need to examine why. You are there, we can't know what those factors are. How is she being experienced by the other people in her life? Co-workers, bosses, colleagues, teachers, even people who know her from professional interactions - the doctor, dentist, etc. How does she interact with people. You can't assume that your view is the only way that your daughter is experienced. If none of that helps, maybe she needs to see a counselor or attend a support group to learn skills that make her more sociably adept. good luck!

Answer 6

Get her some help, anyone who mentions suicide is at risk to do so. It is a mean world out there, some of the things I read here make me ill, the one yesterday sent me over the edge, an adult known by the asker, telling a three year old to go kick his pregnant mother[the asker] in the stomach and kill the baby. People walking down the sidewalk and committing violence on fat people because they take up too much room, people saying all ugly people should die, awful, nasty, horrible things said here. And if it is said here, it is being done elsewhere.
There are so many places to take her for help, doctors, hospitals. Do a little research, but hurry.
I know, I get picked on at work, because I am nice, and have been told so. People perceive "nice" as a weakness, and go for the jugular. It is gang mentality.
I am a health care worker, and my patients love my nice self. That's all I need.

Answer 7

Your daughter is much too sensitive. She is not responsible for other people choices, words, actions. This is not her choice. She cannot do anything to change others. Some people enjoy humiliating others for no reason. They are insensitive & taking advantage of sweet & kind peron - have seen it so many times. I guess when people are cruel to kind person it makes them feel better about themself -thsi could be a fair trade-off.

Your daughter must be strong. Do not worry too much about the actions of the others - it has nothing to do with her. She must stay positive & avoid negative thoughts.

Answer 8

I had this problem all throughout school. I'm a very quiet and shy person. The type that always sat off to myself, not really looking at anyone. I never bothered anyone, or said anything to them unless they spoke to me first, and then I always treated them with respect. Yet for some reason, when I moved to a new school in 4th grade, before people even knew my name they just seemed to decide they weren't going to like me, and that they were going to spread as many rumors as they could about me. This went on from 4th grade pretty much until I graduated. I think the reason it went on this long (even though my parents tried a few times talking to the school principle and stuff) was because I just sat there and took their abuse. I didn't come up with any mean come backs or try to punch their lights out (even though I felt like it), I just simply ignored them, so they saw me as an easy target.

Assuming that your daughter has been just as passive and hasn't done anything to try and stop these people, she needs to decide that enough is enough, and she's not going to allow these people to abuse her anymore. Before she can do that, she needs to address the issue of why has she waited so long to take a stand. It could be a self-esteem issue. Perhaps talking to a counselor will benefit her. They sometimes have special classes that help people get over shyness and build confidence in themselves. She should especially see one if she's seriously considering suicide.

Another thing that may help her build confidence in herself to stand up against bullies may be taking a self-defense class. It doesn't mean she will use what she learns to beat the people up or anything, but just knowing that you can physically defend yourself if need be can give you more confidence and courage in these sorts of situations. Also self-defense courses don't just teach you how to fight, but also how to not act like a victim so you're less likely to become a target.

I also just wanna point out to a lot of the other people who have answered, that not everyone in their early 20's has matured. My mom has to work with a lot of young people in their late teens, early twenties, and a lot of them are very rude and disrepectful, still acting like high school snobs. Even some in the 30's are like that. So while a lot of people do mature by then and learn how to be respectable adults, there are more immature adults out there than most people seem to think.

Answer 9

She is probably picked on because she is so nice. So-called "normal" people are mean by nature. Not really as an aspiration ... just that's the way humans are. If it's just folks calling her 'Miss Goody Two Shoes' or stuff like that...just tell her to buck up. Name callers just show their lower intelligence level. If it's something more harsh, especially in the work place, then it's time to go to management. And if management is doing it then change jobs. You could probably persue legal action against the workplace based on mental anguish, pain and suffering...but it really ain't worth it. And she won't be leaving because she can't take the heat, she'll be leaving to find work with 'real' grown-ups.

Answer 10

I would seriously get her into some counseling if she is thinking of committing suicide. That is serious. She needs to know that people of all ages are cruel. She doesn't have to let their cruelty rule her life. God said that the meak shall inherit the earth. She has much to look forward to. I understand where you are coming from, my son gets picked on alot because he is a kind and considerate person. I will pray for your daughter. Let her know that God loves her and sees what she is going through and the people who hurt her are going to be judged for that because she is God's child and he hurts when she hurts. He hurts deeply for her. God bless you all.