Should I stay or should I go?!?! SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLZZZZ?

Question

Ok my husband just had back surgery and I know that he has the rigth to be ill and all... But does he have the right to be ill at me? And not anyone else..(his family and such).... He has jumped my azz about everything that I do like when I left his room to go to the lobby and get somethin to eat it was "don't take a G.D. hour" and smart azz comments like that... Now at home it just seems to get so much worst... Also it wasn't really that much better before the surgery. We have 2 kids and he is always leavin goin to his moms and deerhuntin in a day he may stay at home (other than sleep) a total of 3 hours.. Is this stituation gonna get worse... please help..

Also the #1 thing is that the kids are my step... I have cancer an was never able to have my own children. An old friend came by and asked if I wanted her 2 kids at the time Brison was 13 months and Leila was 1 month, I am the only thing that they no as a mother an it kills me just thinkin that (tearin up now) they would wake up and I not be there for them and they not be there for me... PS the mother was an addict and crack head so I suppose that she did right by them givin them to someone that really wanted kids knowin that I would care for as my own blood (they are my own) God did Bless Me so Much

Also the #1 thing is that the kids are my step... I have cancer an was never able to have my own children. An old friend came by and asked if I wanted her 2 kids at the time Brison was 13 months and Leila was 1 month, I am the only thing that they no as a mother an it kills me just thinkin that (tearin up now) they would wake up and I not be there for them and they not be there for me... PS the mother was an addict and crack head so I suppose that she did right by them givin them to someone that really wanted kids knowin that I would care for as my own blood (they are my own) God did Bless Me so Much they are know Brison is bout to be 3 and Leila is gonna be 2 on my b-day..

Answer 1

It sounds like you two could use a little counseling. He doesn't seem to know how to cope with everything and is putting it on you. Unfortunately people tend to gripe at the person they love the most. You do not have to take it however. My husband was very verbal at first. It took counseling and alot of patience and my husband and I willing to change. Relationships are hard. Deerhunting is his escape. It's definitely not easy to be married. But, it's sometimes even us that changes. I hope that things work out. And as for whether it will get worse or not, I can not say. I hope that it will get better for you. If it is abuse on his part and he does it all the time try to work it out but not live together. Your children are important as well. Seek counceling seperately. Though the abuse is not your fault. Sometimes counceling helps you as well. Don't just seek the divorce band wagon yet. If things don't change and he continues then I would consider it. Sometimes men and women don't realize they have lost something great until they are gone.

Answer 2

It sounds like your marriage was not to good before this back surgery. Your husband may have had surgery and be in pain, but that does not make him ill. You were ill. he may have some resentment that you are able to move around and do things alone. It's hard for someone who is indepenet to rely on someone else for their every need. All though that does not give him the right to treat you like that. No one ever deserves treatment like that. You want to know if you should stay or go. You sound like you have been on your own for quite a while. If you want to make things work tell him to cut this sh-- out. If he doesn't or gets worse, you know what you need to do. Remember, the children you have been blessed with want to see you happy. The happier you are the happier they are. Your husband is also setting an example for how they should act as a man and a husband. Decide if that is what you want them to learn. Kids act what they see. Only you know the right answer. Either way, staying or going, it will be a difficult journey. Best to you and your children.

Answer 3

Ok first of all, men are babies when they are sick, don't feel well, whatever. Second, if he runs to his mom all the time, he is probably a moma's boy. Therefore, nothing you do will ever be good enough. His mother will always side with him and you will be the bad guy. As for the children, how does he treat them? Does he talk to them this way? I hate to say this but sometimes verbal abuse is phase one on the way to physical abuse. Do not tolerate that at all!!!! I would suggest trying to tell your husband exactly what you feel and if you get no response or negative response then give a few days and try again. You must try all avenues before leaving. On the other hand you deserve to be happy and you cannot continue to be verbally abused. Good luck.

Answer 4

This is hard to answer i would say if he started this during and after his back surgery, sometimes people get angry and are hostile when they are in pain or feeling vulnerable, however if he acted like this before his surgery, then you have to realize that's the way he is and/or was raised nothing is going to change that, if you do not mind it continuing then stay, if not then leave,i would say it will stay the same or get worse not better.
if he is always leaving and only at home for sleeping he might be in a situation he regrets or doesn't like, i would say talk to him about this, ask him if he is happy and bring up to him how you feel about him not spending time at home, only to sleep..he is your husband you will know if he is not being honest, then make your decision.....i would say leave going by what you have said in your paragraph, you have to determine if you feel there is something worth saving or trying to save

Answer 5

commence out genuine sluggish and wait and notice. in case you come on too stable too speedy and don't have the boldness for it you will mess this up. So in simple terms make eye touch and say hi. do this a pair of circumstances yet do no longer over do the staring in simple terms look then hi then smile and pass on. If this seems to pass over properly say how are ya doing? If she solutions respond with a quick, stable to work out you or see you around. shop with this and you will understand if she likes it via her smile and the way lots she says to you once you ask how are ya doing. finally you could say, i'm (your call ) what's your call? then you definately might desire to grant which you get coffee or tea someplace sometime whilst she is unfastened. If this seems to pass properly ask for her variety. undergo in techniques, this form of "figuring out on up" women is an paintings, it takes time to learn it. communicate on your guy acquaintances, in case you have no longer have been given any, get some, they'll help. stable success to you!

Answer 6

How sad, my heart goes out to you. This is very painful! Well, it's abuse, verbal and abandanment. He is being cruel and extremely selfish. The question you have to ask yourself is - can you afford to leave?? (financially) If you can live comfortably somewhere else, my suggestion is that you move on. This kind of punishment will surely take it's toll on you. I don't know you, but I don't like bullies! Seriously consider your options - write down the pro's and the con's. Best of luck- with whatever you decide..

Answer 7

He's had surgery and taking his misery out on you. Then you say, "...it wasn't really that much better before..." This situation is not getting any better, and it for sure can get worse. The children don't need this misery any more than you.

Answer 8

I completely sympathize with you, honey! -- My husband was the same way when he broke his ankle and had surgery (it was BAD)... I was doing crap for him for two months. I almost killed him or left him. I hung in there and waited it out.-- He's frustrated, possibly a little depressed... Just wait it out, it gets better. ... The whole situation was a huge test on our marriage. I literally HATED him. BUT!.. he got better and I got over it!.. Now we joke about it all the time!

Answer 9

Take the inisitave and make the first move look into marriage counseling. Good Luck

Answer 10

you need to set him down and tell him to knock it off and you are serious about it. you dont deserve to be treated that way. he will just keep doing it until you put your foot down and put your words into action. and it wont be easy because from what i can see from what you say is he is not used to that and he will most likely get defensive....he is acting as if it is just him.....why dont you go off somewhere? leave him at home to take care of the kids.