okay. so here's the deal. i am 17 and for 2 years i have been really good friends with this one guy, brooks. and it's always been more than just a friendship, at least we've always wanted it to be more. there are 3 problems tho. 1) he is 2 grades younger than me, but he is only less than a year younger than me. so it isn't that big of an age difference, it just appears that way and ppl are just like dude you like a sophomore, that's gross! (i'm a senior). 2) just recently he moved to texas. so we are several states away. but we talk all the time. 3) he is my best friend's boyfriend's little brother. so that is slightly awkward to say the least.
i love him to death! but it is just SO HARD because i am so worried about the social aspect of it. we had a "thing" once and people were constantly talking about our relationship. and i just couldn't take it. so i got out. (selfish, i know).
2006-10-20 16:09:29 · 10 answers · asked by lifeistough_period 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
But just recently we have started the relationship back up again, and I haven’t told anyone. And I am just completely in love with him and I just want to go up to everyone and say “hi. I love brooks!”
And my best friend and her boyfriend (his brother) treat me differently whenever they know that I have been talking to him. And I just hate it. I don’t want to lose my best friend, but I really like this guy. But it’s not like I just have a crush on this guy, we were friends first, and still are. But we want to be more. So if it somehow doesn’t work out for any number of reasons, it won’t have all been for nothing. I wouldn’t have lost a friend for nothing. Because this guy is, and always will be, my friend. And I wish that I can say the same about my other friend.
So please please help me. Tell me what you think. Give me advice, criticism, anything. Because I really want to make this work…..
2006-10-20 16:10:17 · update #1
I have a daughter the same age as you, and just as I would tell her, start learning to not care what other people think! True happiness can be elusive. If Brooks makes your heart sing, and you light up when you talk to him or are near him, that's the most important thing of all. I don't know what's up with your best friend and her boyfriend, but sometimes honey people just can't be happy for other people. How often do you think it will be that you feel the way you do about Brooks for another person? Being in love is a wonderful, wonderful experience and you should just continue to be great friends and nurture your relationship. Maybe one day you'll see that's all that matters. Good luck.
2006-10-20 16:17:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of what you said isn't a big deal. The age difference, the sophomore vs senior, the best friends little brothers cousin (whatever) none of that is a big deal.
The big deal is the distance.(Several States Away) You are still very young, & should be DATING, & Not tying yourself up with a long distance romance that will prevent you from having many useful growth experiences during the time that he is out of your life. It's OK to have strong feelings for Brooks, but it would be a tragedy if you tied yourself up with him without the benefit of his presence in your life. You may as well just make up an imaginary boyfriend & carry on a romance in your mind. It will accomplish about the same thing for you. If I haven't reached you by talking about you, then take a look at how fair it is for him too. He will be meeting new people where he has moved to, & will need to be free to carry on relationships where he lives. If you are asking him to save himself for you, then you are just being selfish.
It's OK to love him & have feelings for him, but unless & until you two can see each other on a daily basis, then you will be robbing each other of your youth if you try to keep an exclusive relationship going.
Let him go for now, & if everything that's between you two is right, then you'll get back together again.
2006-10-20 23:29:56 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep it on the down low and enjoy it but hold back a little. When you are out of HS, no one will care if a guy is two years younger than you. Right now think about where you are in your life… a senior in HS, facing college or some big change and he lives in Texas. Stay focused on your life goals and if this is to be with your guy pal, it will happen. Let him mature a little more and catch up with you. There is a third person in this… and it is the “relationship.” Take care of the relationship first, show it respect and put your needs in second place. I know you will do what is best!
2006-10-20 23:19:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
kid no matter what other people think if you love this brooks guy don't let anything stand in your way just make sure you finish school and about other people talking about you two well they are jelous because you are in love and they might just want what you two have and can't so they talk about you
2006-10-20 23:17:17 · answer #4 · answered by kym 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to what your heart tells you hon because when my mother was alive she kept telling me to follow my head and she left out the most important part, my heart and i had listened to my heart and iam glad that i did and if i hadn't i don't know where i would have been today. she died 9 yrs ago not knowing what it was like to be truely loved and to have given love to someone else up right until she died even though she was married to my father until i was 16 then he cheated on her and from then on she never knew what true love was all about and she divorced him and had so much hate for him for what he did.it took my mother 1yr and six months to realize that i met the right man for me.
2006-10-20 23:37:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIRLFRIEND I'M NOT EVEN GONNA READ THE REST YOUR 17 YOUR PROBABLY PRETTY AND YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU, YOUR NOT OLD ENOUGH TO HANDLE A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP FOR ONE AND I MEAN THAT IN THE SINCE OF TRANSPORTATION WISE AND TWO HE IS 23 YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU AND IT DOESN'T MATTER CAUSE YOUR FRIENDS THINK SO IT'S GONNA MATTER IN A YEAR WHEN YOUR ON A WHOLE OTHER WAVE LENGTH MENTALLY KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING GIRLS ALREADY MATURE FASTER THAN BOYS AND HE'S GONNA WANT TO BE ABLE TO DATE YOU PHYSICALLY AND SINCE YOU CANT THAT'S GONNA CAUSE BOTH OF YOU TO BE INTERESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE THAT YOU CAN PHYSICALLY BE WITH LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP ALONE
2006-10-20 23:19:00 · answer #6 · answered by sky g 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you really care about him go for it. But it could ruin the friendship but love is always worth the risk. Hope this helps, go get your man, honey.
2006-10-20 23:13:09 · answer #7 · answered by Kelley G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to me a friend is a friend,your love life is YOUR love life so don't even pay attention to your friend about this.she's not going to live with you you want the man that YOU love if you show everybody that you love him and it doesn't matter what they say they'll stop talking about it,they going to get tired of it and see that ya still together,that's what counts if you really love him and he loves you don't worry about what nobody says!hope this helps
2006-10-20 23:20:46 · answer #8 · answered by `~*sheila *~` 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is miracle..tat's what my younger boi fren told me.. i love him from 3 years ago & i know tat's difficult.. & also some of the people will critize us & also our lovely family will look down on us.. they don't understand us but i still have to say.. I LOVE HIM...& no matter wat.. & now.. 3 years later, he says he loves me... & he's in my hand now...don't get any answer from the people.. cos the only ANSWER is always in our heart.. U love him or not?? u take care of him or not... & it must be lasting 4ever... & don't regret for wat the step tat u take.. GAMBATEH...
2006-10-20 23:31:34 · answer #9 · answered by Rosia R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you care what others think??? your the one that wants the relationship right??? Do for yourself first
2006-10-20 23:18:41 · answer #10 · answered by babygirl_mandy82 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋