Why do some couples divorce after less than a year?

Question

Now, I know that some people have to because of abusive relationships. But on the whole why do some people divorce after such a short time? Is it thinking marraige is a piece of cake? I was just wondering. I sometimes wonder. My hubby and I have had alot of bumps in the road. The first 2 years of marraige I almost wanted out. As we began to understand each other though it became easier. What do you think?

Answer 1

The first year is the hardest. After the courtship is over and the reality sets in, you learn all the things about each other that just “drive you nuts”. Those that do not make it through this stage were probably:

1.Not in love to start with
2.Did not take it as seriously as they should
3.Got married for the wrong reasons or
4.Not mature enough for the commitment

Answer 2

when most people get married, they don't know the real meaning of the word LOVE. They are immature and think that marriage is something that we go and get around any corner as we say in my country. The second reason is that - if you are in the USA - Americans love a wedding and it is too easy not only to get married but also get a divorce. This does not happen in my country. But I consider not being mature the main reason. We only know a person well after we eat a package of salt with this person and most of the time we rush into relationships because we feel lonely and want someone to share our lives with.
See? There are many many reasons and the best thing to do should wait and think in order to make the right decision. A decision that you may regret for the rest of your life because not everyone has the temper to leave the marriage. They feel trapped, especially women, they don't have a job and find hard to leave their husbands even if they are not good husbands. That's why it is important to consider before you take the step.

Answer 3

Endorphins that are left over from our primitive man. Primitive mans focus was procreation and survival. Endorphins are chemical that are released in the brain and react with the pleasure senses in the brain.
This is the reason for the responses that happens when two people who are attracted to each other meet. This is what promotes sexual drive, and move into that lovey-dovey, kissy-kissy, sex everyday, all day, stopping only to eat or drink, and then is usually something from an intimate part of the other ones body.........these endorphins are released for about 3-6 months then slowly start to diminish and stop long about one year.
The purpose of these chemicals? Procreation.
In primitive man (as well as modern)3-6 months is relatively the time it would take for the female to get pregnant. At this point survival instincts took over, the female clung to the male so she and the unborn child could survive, the male protected and provided for the female for survival of the species. and the pair would stay together until the offspring began to care for its self...........about 7 years. If no other off-springs where produced the two would go off to find more fertile partners, and the same would happen if no conception took place in the first 3-6 months.
Then we man became more civilized adopted the morals, tradition's and religions of their tribe or community. Some tribal tradition's and customs the marriage of a couple was dictated and arranged by the parents, religious practices was that once you became married you must remain together for life, and so they did. These tradition's and custom's are still practiced by some.
But as we move into a different era, many of these customs are no-longer practiced. Divorce is more excepted.
So again human coupulation is driven by chemical endorphins. This is why we can go head over heels into a relationship not seeing the dislikes of the other person or believing that this encredible feeling we are having will continue forever.
Assess your own personal relationships, think about a how long it was before you had your first major disagreement or fight, and what happened? At this point some break up, this most often happens if the couple don't have a simular goal or wants in life, even in modern times if the female becomes pregnant the couple will usually try to stay together.
If they have common goals the comfort of familiarity will keep them together, and then love, care and concern start to develope and grow. Then somewhere along seven years or so primitive instincs start again........whats commonly known as the seven year itch, this is what people discribe as, " I don't know what it is?", they feel there should be more, its not that I don't love him or her.
It use to be that it was more men that would have affairs, many times with a secretarys, Because men where in the work place and females stayed home not exposed as much to the oppisite sex.( although there have been those tales of affairs with postman, milkmen or repairmen) But now both men and women are in the work place, and with societies acceptance of divorce. Survival and protection is not needed as it was in primitive man we seem to have resorted back to conducting ourselves as primitive man.
Few relationships over the last 25-50 years withstand that "until death do us part" without any marrital affairs. ( and many prior did either, just marriages didn't end because of them?
So the answer to your question........Endorphins! And our lack of knowledge or denial of human instinct.

Answer 4

When we first meet this person, we get all tingley, and excited, its the unknown, even their touch makes us tingle, BUT after a while we stop getting these little tingles, were not so ecited, and we believe we no longer love this person, the fact is we probable jumped into the marriage before we ever had time to get to know the person well enough to know, if we loved them or not, But with time,I think we do love them, some never last that long though, and then there are some who have been together for years, and because they don`t hae that spark, and they are going through some change in their life, they think that want out of the marriage, and look for greener pastures, and those old feelings, they got with the first spouse they married, then not long down the road, they realize, they divorced their true love, and married someone they don`t even know, or love, and wish they were still with their first spouse.

Answer 5

I know what you mean. I have a friend who is 19-20 and she got married VERY quickly and divorced just as fast. I have been married 2 1/2 years, and we are doing fine. I think it has a lot to do with mental age. My sister couldn't even get through planning her wedding, he left her because she was pregnant and he didn't know if it was his. I think that people who get divorced that fast should have known that they were not ready to get married. But, I guess they really don't love who they married in the first place. May be they did when they were dating, but couldn't handle what marriage comes with. I had a quick marriage, three days to "think" about it, and 25 dollars for the paper work, it was great, the judge yelled at us for kissing before he did the ceremony. He laughed about it though. I was still in high school when I married, I wouldn't change it for the world. We only knew each other for six months before hand, but knew the night we met.

Answer 6

I'm learning that a lot of the time it is couples who have lived together before marriage, then don't have the same idea of freedom once they are married.
Selfishness is a big thing. Not having the ability to see things from another's point of view, and only doing what the individual wants, not seeing the big picture.
Someone started that stupid line that "getting married is just a piece of paper", and hearing that just drives me mad! I agree with the statements you made that of course it becomes easier with time. You get to know the person inside out - and that's one of the richest, most wonderful things about being married.
We have been married over 17 years, and there have been tough times. We knew we were committed, what our values are, so we always wanted to work things out for our family's benefit. That's part of the learning process. I had trouble sleeping in the same bed with a man, for gosh' sake, let alone all the snoring that was coming out of his face! - I could have left after three months for that reason alone!
All in all, the people who divorce early do it often because they are immature, not just because they are young. Selfishness and ego are also big contributors.

Answer 7

I split from my husband after two months, knew I shouldn't be marrying him as I did it but EVERYONE was already there so I just gave the right responses at the right time. Personally I think they make marriage too easy to get into, all ours took was 3 days and 35 dollars. I think they should either make it as hard to get married as divorce or as easy to get divorced as it is to get married and even out the playing field a little. Of the two options mentioned above i really prefer that they make it harder to get married, I know in my case I was having an "almost thirty" panic attack, my friends were all married so I thought I had to hurry up and get married too. If I had had to think more about it before hand I would never gotten to the aisle in the first place.

Answer 8

I like your "thinking it's a piece of cake" theory. They stop working at it when it doesn't work immediately. People too often these days go into marriage with the idea that if it doesn't work right away they'll cut their losses and walk away. People who stay married are those who go into it thinking they have to make it work .And since happiness is a journey rather than a destination, this second group has what it takes to make it there. I'm proud you met your initial problems head-on and made it work. Yay for you and your hubby, and continued good luck.

Answer 9

It isn't that common, I don't think. The divorce rates have improved from the 50% they were running several years ago. It usually occurs when kids marry way too young, and for all the wrong reasons.

Answer 10

Because some people marry for the wrong reasons and find out later on that marriage isn't what it's cracked up to be (at least in their mind). Others just find it too hard to stay commited and work on their marriage and would rather bail out when things get tough rather than work on it to make it last.