My wife and I barely speak and would not be together if it wasn't for the fact we don't want to be away from our two children. I have absolutly given up on my marriage. We have not been intimate in four years! I am in my mid thirties and want so much more!
2006-10-20 16:05:19 · 15 answers · asked by Jamey T 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also wife has passed on any counseling and suffers from depression. Refuses to work together on household finances and I am on the brink of bankrupcy. I don't want to lose my house!
2006-10-20 16:25:45 · update #1
Maybe topic should be why haven't I divorced yet?
2006-10-20 16:26:35 · update #2
If you're unhappy in your marriage that doesn't give you the right to be a sneaky slime-ball and fool around on your wife. If you want more then get a separation/divorce and then start a relationship with the woman you like. Men can be such chicken shi*s.
2006-10-20 16:09:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
As a child of a divorced parent and a wife it is my advice to get the divorce. Why would you want to put a woman in that position of being the other woman? As a child of the divorced parents I would say, yes it hurts. But, my parents were better parents because they did not have the bitterness. Yes, it hurts the children to begin with. But as a wife I would want my husband or ex to be happy too. I would hope you can work it out. But my parents were married for 30 years and then divorced. The anger though never meant was then directed at the 3 remaining kids in the house. Never once had they cheated on one another in that period. They never hurt me in a physical way. I hope that if you can you would work it out. My parents now remain better friends. And they are the best parents any person could have. I'm not telling you this for any other reason than to give you helpful advice.
2006-10-20 16:08:35 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly s 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off do you still love your wife and do you think you could patch things up? If so do yourself a favor get a babysitter take her out just the two of you and talk. Do you remember how it was when you first met all you did is talk for hours. Find out what she feels. Court her as if you just met. She may still be in love with you. Who knows you might just find a new romance with her and if you do dont let her go. If she is a good mom and was a good wife at one time there is still some hope for you both
go to a councelor. If you can not afford one go to a church or a place like that sometimes they offer counceling for free. DONT GIVE UP IF YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER. If you dont you need to resolve your relationship with your wife before ever getting into another one. Or you will never go anywhere. If it does not work do your children a favor and get a divorce. you are not helping them by both of you being miserable. I have been with my husband for 24 yrs. He decide to have an affair. We have 4 children he started his affair when my daughter was 2 wks old. I am still with him and he is still seeing this @#$!@ He now sleeps in another room my daughter is 11mo old. It hurts alot when I know he is getting dressed to go out with her on the weekends and my two teenage children tell me to leave. My 11yr old asks all the time why daddy is always going out without me or the family. It is if he is cheating not only on me but the whole family. Think this over very carefully before you act PLEASE!!!
2006-10-20 17:05:10 · answer #3 · answered by quinn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude... It's more common than you think. I'm not at four years, but 2+. I've got four kids (1, 4, 7, and 9), and sometimes wonder why I'm still doing this. She's *literally* put me in the poorhouse, and absolutely does not get the fact that I have financial goals for retirement someday (but not at the rate that I'm going). Yes, I've talked to her about it. One thing I've learned, is that "the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence". I've never cheated, and probably won't, because she's a great mom and would die for my kids. At this point in the game, life is about your kids. You'll work it out with your wife if you remember the things that you fell in love with. Draw on the past for your strength, and do it for your kids. Sorry this is long, but I'm in such the same situation. I'm mid 30's, married for 11 years. Hang in there, and just keep doing what's right. Relationships aren't easy, and they take lots of work. Don't stray, and focus on her and the kids. Be a man, and resolve to make it work. Talk to her about it. Believe me, she's probably hurting, too. You've both got to work at healing, otherwise it sounds like you'll end up cheating, and that is the wimpy way out.
2006-10-20 16:13:57 · answer #4 · answered by JB 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have u even tried working on your marriage first? It sounds like u and your wife just both let the marriage go and if she really isn't interested in it anymore then do the right thing and get a divorce first before starting anew. Don't use the children as an excuse.
2006-10-20 16:15:49 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a sad posting an my last answer for the night. WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU TEACHING YOUR KIDS? That it is okay to be miserable in a marriage? That you are only there for them and in the mean time not living life by example. It is guys like you that keep therapist in business. These kids will live with the guilt that their dad was unhappy most of his life because of them.
Get out of this marriage. Be an active father in your children's life and support them with love as needed. Get a back bone and be a good example not a cheating slimy, back-door lover for the lady down the street.
NUFF SAID sorry for being so harsh but man your not really thinking about the kids here, your looking for an excuse to cheat on your wife.
2006-10-20 16:13:49 · answer #6 · answered by ferretcoach 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to put yourseld out there for your wife. Get a babysitter, plan a romantic night and play your wedding song.
It is the little things that you used to do when you were first together, that will reunite the spark. Relationships take work. Make her feel like the most special woman in the world.
Idea 2 - write her a love letter, telling her how you feel.
Idea 3 - ask her to renew vows.
2006-10-20 16:09:55 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer J 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't stay together for the sake of the kids, it puts more stress on them living in YOUR stress than it would having your split up. I lived in that for years before my parents FINALLY divorced.
So, to let her know you are interested, put a copy of your divorce filing under the windshield of her car. That is how I met my husband 12 years ago.
2006-10-20 16:10:49 · answer #8 · answered by ihave5katz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A woman that's worth being interested in, won't be interested in a married man. You want her to know you're interested? Easy. Get divorced, THEN ask her out.
2006-10-20 16:58:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The husband and I are "separated" in the sense that we can live together...but are together because of the kids. The love their dad and they love me and i can't see making the husband leave just because we aren't happy. We have our moments but I know by staying together it is best for the kids. As far as the "other person"...nothing wrong with a little flirting. It makes me feel good as a person that "i still got it".
2006-10-20 16:19:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋