we have a family friend that just turned 18 years old and was kicked out of her home, her father and family have disowned her completly, so they are out of the question in even talking to about this.. I HAVE tried.
I talked with her and she has her child 2 weeks old sleeping in the bed with her all night.. I have explained the dangers of this to her, and she has admited that he has rolled over more than once but she is next to him and can feel when he moves. I am so scared for the baby and suffocating in the pillows. I have talked with her and she said the baby cries if in the bassinet.
I have raised 3 kids and I know that a two week old cries if they are hungry, wet or in pain.. i am guessing the baby has gas due to the type of formula and that is why he isnt sleeping well, regardless of the problem sleeping in her bed is a danger, she doesnt understand she is barley 18 and has not much of an education.
what can i do to get though to her, I am scared for the baby.
2006-10-20 16:03:47 · 26 answers · asked by caligrl 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
The baby will, more than likely, be fine. Unless the mother is using drugs or drinking the baby will probably be safe.
I co-slept with my first three children when they were babies. There was never any problems with them suffocating or anything of the like. There was never any problem at all with me, my children and co-sleeping. Now, I did it more out of necessity than anything else, but I know a lot of people do it because they just want to or think it's best.
It can be safe and it is her decision.
2006-10-20 16:15:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
First off, yes you have the right to be concerned, but quite frankly you need to butt out and let her handle things the way she chooses. She is an adult. She is a mom, and she will do what she thinks best for her child. I was a young mother, I had my first at 16, 2nd at 19 and 3rd at 23. All 3 of my children have co-slept with me until they were old enough to move into a toddler bed. My daughter is now 2.5 months old and has co-slept since she was born, it is natural and healthy. There are going to be downsides to any situation, and regardless of where the child sleeps there is a risk for SIDS or suffocation. I have never had a problem rolling over or smothering my baby, and I have had doctors tell me that sleeping with a newborn actually helps regulate their breathing and helps them sleep better. When the baby sleeps well, mom sleeps well and the incidence for PPD is lowered, also the bond that you create co-sleeping and nursing is amazing. Leave the mother alone and mind your business, trust me she has it hard enough without recieving unwanted parenting advice.
2006-10-20 17:02:05 · answer #2 · answered by krzbitch 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're really concerned, maybe you could get her one of those "co-sleeper" things that's like a bassinet but sits next to the bed and has an open side. That way, the baby can't roll out of bed, won't have pillows to deal with, and she can't roll on the baby.
Also, she'll probably sleep better.
2006-10-21 14:24:06 · answer #3 · answered by sdc_99 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her a Snugglenest http://www.snugglenest.com/snuggle_nest.html
It is a safe way to sleep with baby.
Many cultures the world over co-sleep. Breastfeeding mothers are so in-tune to their babies that is is like sleeping with one eye open. But modern beds are so soft and covered with pillows and comforters, and we are all so sleep deprived and out of touch as a nation that I understand your concern, it is less safe in some situations. Many experts are now saying that a baby sleeping alone in another room during the first 6 months is equally dangerous, because you are unaware of what is going on with your baby. So a compromise must be found. I used the Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper and loved it with my sons, but if she insists on having him in her bed, try the Snugglenest.
2006-10-20 16:36:05 · answer #4 · answered by e_gladman@sbcglobal.net 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does the bassinet that she has for him have the sides that drop down. Walmart has one. The side slides between the matress and box spring so they can just reach and get the baby to feed or change them and there is no danger of rolling over on them. Also go to www.onestepahead.com. They have a co-sleeper that can go on the bed that has sides so the parent can't roll over on them.
2006-10-20 16:20:52 · answer #5 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No need to kick the baby out of her bed. I slept with my littlest one until she was 6 months old. She was just as happy to get out of my bed as I was to have her out.
General guidelines are no pillows, no heavy blankets, and a firm mattress. (No pillowtops!) If she has a infant car seat/carrier, the baby would be safe in there on top of the bed.
If she's got a crib, a better alternative would be to drop the side down and "sidecar" the crib to the bed. That way baby is near mom but in his own space.
(And cosleeping moms are very, very aware of their babies. I slept so lightly, every time my daughter moved I was wide awake. It's instinct. Better for baby, too.)
2006-10-20 17:24:07 · answer #6 · answered by CCTCC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I see that you have tried all that you can, I guess now what you have to do is aide her. Since she isn't listening to you, then go ahead and help her keep her baby safe by finding some sort of bed divider. Maybe buy a blanket and set it between the baby and the mother. No matter what new ideas you come up with, just go ahead and tell her about it and how it will help keep the baby safe. Since she isn't going to give up this new habit, then it's not your fault and if she doesn't listen to you, then she might learn her lesson the hard way. Good luck...
2006-10-20 16:10:26 · answer #7 · answered by Smartsrule 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I sleep with my 10 week old and it's so much easier for both of us...BUT if he has rolled over then you should tell her to invest in a sleep positioner or snuggle bed....We have the snuggle bed and it's really nice because there is pretty much no way that you can roll onto the baby and the sides are ventilated for good air circulation.
http://www.toysrus.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=2256227&cp=2255986.2256244
2006-10-20 18:35:34 · answer #8 · answered by ♥♥♥♥♥calimama♥♥♥♥♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daugther slept with me as an infant. 20 years later she's still here. All she needs to do is either roll up a blanket and put it between herself and the baby as well as another on the other side of the baby or get those big rolled pillows. You need to lighten up on this poor girl doesn't she have enough problems without you?
2006-10-21 16:48:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so long as the mother is aware in the night and boes not roll over, i see nothing wrong with it. there are actually now attachments that allows a baby to sleep right next to the bed without actually being in the bed. and although she is barely 18, i'll bet she has pretty good maternal insticts and would most likely not do anything she feels is harmful to the baby
2006-10-20 16:20:15 · answer #10 · answered by Kerry S 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋