A co-worker and friend has recently started to make passes and sexual comments to me. He knows that I am happily married but is still flirting. How do I tell him to stop without causing problems in the office? or ruining a 4 year friendship?
2006-10-20 15:51:08 · 16 answers · asked by cas2173 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I like the one about 'talk about your husband and about how wonderful he is'. It's gentle and non confrontational. Perfect for the office.
If that doesn't work, just take your co-worker aside and tell them that friendly banter is great and helps the workplace less tense and boring, but that the sexual innuendos are getting a bit much. In private you have saved his face and yours. And avoiding being an office 'tattle tale'. but I digress, if it continues without end, you have no choice but to become a tattle.
2006-10-20 16:04:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use laughter and a sense of humor. When he makes passes or sexual comments, laugh and tell him how kind he is being to an old married lady, but why doesn't he save all that for some of the younger chicks who are looking for a guy? Because you aren't. Then point out one of the single girls, and say, "hey -- why not spread some of that sunshine her way?"
If he keeps it up, you may have to get a little more blunt, because it CAN cause problems in the office.
2006-10-20 15:55:23 · answer #2 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are stupid. you need to make no. NO. document, get witnesses and tell him in as clear a tone as you can, "this stops now or I report you." If he's flirting you do not have a 4 year friendship. what you have is him not respecting you or your fam.
your fam. and esp. your husband is worth much more than a strained relationship. If you don't show this dope he, not you has a problem, you're encouraging this behavior.
bottom line. if your fam. is worth loving be willing to make problems and ruin what probably isn't really 4 years of friendship anyway.
good luck,
frankie C.
2006-10-20 15:59:12 · answer #3 · answered by frankiechocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know its sexual harrasment the moment it starts bothering you. If he won't stop, go to a supervisor or HR. This is taken very seriously, so if you are wrong, you will more than likely ruin him. Good luck.
2006-10-20 15:54:37 · answer #4 · answered by mnkstapel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell him that you are married and you do not appreciate his behavior. If he doesn't stop, tell your boss. Forget the friendship, if he was a true friend he would respect you enough not to act this way towards you.
2006-10-20 15:53:21 · answer #5 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
C'mon Cas. What you are describing is sexual harassment which the management should not condone. YOu need to tell your water cooler Romeo to stop or you will go to the management.
By puttting up with this flirtation and advances, you are passively saying "it's okay, I like it". As long as the advances are perceived as welcome, it won't stop - AND the more damage occurs to your marriage.
WAKE UP AND CONFRONT ROMEO TOMORROW.
2006-10-20 15:56:21 · answer #6 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ever hear of the O tolerance law? Its all about sexual harassment. Sounds like this is happening to you.
2006-10-20 16:15:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be blunt and to the point...If you giggle or say it cutesy he will not stop...Look him in the eye and say (if all else fails) "Do i need to file a sexual harassment charges for you to stop"
2006-10-20 15:57:14 · answer #8 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The peace in your marriage is FAR more valuable than that in the office.
2006-10-20 15:53:00 · answer #9 · answered by girls_role_model 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think the most sensitive approach would be to talk about your husband a lot when he is around. Brag about how hot you are for him, how wonderful he is, how he is the perfect husband.....
2006-10-20 15:55:22 · answer #10 · answered by HonestGuy 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋