ok, i am 14 and a guy and i think i am gay or bi.... not sure, but i hate it, i dont want to be this way but i still fall for guys. well i am tired of falling for guys who don't fall back, and i thought the were gay....but they weren't... i try so hard to just accept myself but i can't. my question is why do gays say they are happy that way when it just causes pain...
2006-10-20 14:15:46 · 15 answers · asked by suck my n 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Hang in there, Kid. It gets easier as you get older. Don't rush yourself. Someday, when you reach adult hood you will meet other guys whom you will find a connection with. After meeting people who you have a lot in common with you will find happiness.
2006-10-20 14:28:19 · answer #1 · answered by Ozzie B. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all because you are 14 honey. Coming out when you are that young causes pain regardless of how much you accept yourself. But you need to accept yourself in order to be happy. Straight or gay, you must first love who you are for others to love you and find u interesting. As far as knowing who is gay or not, dont hit on them until you are 100% sure that they are. Being gay is not an easy thing, someday it will get better. The world is cruel and especially your age group, your in for a long hard road, but keep your chin up and never be ashamed of what you are, God made you that way baby.
2006-10-20 21:24:35 · answer #2 · answered by arielsalom33 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was the same when I was your age...it was like that until I was 18...I only thought that I will live a life of misery, pain and rejection. But this is not the case..What you feel is so typical and it is the most common reaction of a teenager coming into terms with being homosexual or bisexual. I PROMISE you that in few years time you will look back and laugh to the current problems you have now. Dont worry and be optimistic. When you meet your first lover (wait for at least 5 years, it will be better and legal) many things will change.
2006-10-20 21:54:08 · answer #3 · answered by Nostromo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We say we're happy because we are! Or at least I am.
You don't think it now but you are still really young. I felt exactly the same way when I was your age (about ten years ago) but it gets better. Everyone, gay or straight, feels similar to that when they're just starting out, it's unfortunately part of growing up. There are probably girls who have felt the same way because you didn't fall for them. As you get older, it'll just get easier, you can't explain it. And once you meet someone you like who likes you back, you'll wonder how you could have ever felt down. Feeling rejected, feeling like you're the only one who doesn't get anyone, making mistakes about people you like, even embarassing yourself, they're just part of life, not part of being gay. And there isn't any solution or any way to make it go faster, sorry!
If you really feel in pain about this, talk to someone.
2006-10-20 21:25:39 · answer #4 · answered by dm_cork 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Straight people fall for those who are not interested in them too, and have their hearts broken just as much as gay people. That's a part of life that everyone experiences, and yes, it's painful when it turns out that way. But it won't always. You still have a long life ahead of you, and guarunteed you'll find someone one day who will feel the same for you as you do for them. The path to finding that happiness though is usually a long one with a few broken hearts along the way, no matter what your sexual orientation is.
2006-10-20 21:22:37 · answer #5 · answered by goldenrose82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're young. When you come out of the closet, you will see that homosexuality is more common than you think. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having feelings for men. Be young, have fun. Don't try so hard. When the right guy comes around, you will know. In high school it's tough because your peers are not fully mature. Hang in there. Get some counseling if it eats at you too much.
2006-10-20 21:20:23 · answer #6 · answered by gc27858 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It happens to straight people to, I've fallen for guys who was gay countless of times...and I just realized why I was alone for so long. But the point is no matter what your sexuality is, there will ALWAYS be pain. See this is why everyone in the world should just be bisexual....
2006-10-20 21:44:20 · answer #7 · answered by StarGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember you've not completely grown up yet. Sexuality is a continuum and it matures just like people do. Give yourself time to let yourself become whatever it is you'll become. Even heterosexuality is something we don't step into easily...the whole dating thing is very rough - and it's even rougher if you are questioning your sexuality. Remember you've not developed to your full potential yet, and give yourself time, forgiveness, and the understanding it takes to get where you're gonna end up safely, and feeling good about yourself as a good person. You deserve the best, and you deserve to be happy. Time is a good thing to give yourself when it comes to something like this.
2006-10-20 22:02:15 · answer #8 · answered by Mark L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would be an age issue... it's so cool that you admit this, which is so much more than what many others twice your age can do. You're a bit too young to go clubbing, but... if you have a GSA club at your school, you might meet some other guys there. *shrugs*
2006-10-20 22:16:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is great pain, and joy in everyone's life...regardless of your orientation.
I know that doesn't help a bit now, but it will in 15-20 years.
2006-10-20 21:29:41 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋