married 24 yrs now seperated he cheated has since moved in with her shes 21 he is 42.he has moved on like i never exsisted....we have 4 children together one of which is 1 yr younger then his girlfriend....we havnt talked at all about anything in months ...he comes and gets the kids when he wants i never did the visitation thing more so for my kids then for him i wanted them to see him when he could manage it......im just at a loss for how i go on when i dont even know how this happened i thought us happy and said this to him as well he said we wedre i asked then what happened he says i dont know.......thats why i ask this question
2006-10-20 13:59:04 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
TIL DEATH DO US PART! Doesn't that mean anything to anyone anymore??? he stopped loving you when he cheated on you.
2006-10-20 14:03:57 · answer #1 · answered by EllisFan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your spouse no longer listens to you and doesn't care about your feelings anymore.
He has moved on, it's time you do. I am going through the same thing right now, I can tell you it gets better. Maybe give yourself something for yourself for a change... go to a counsellor. I have and it is really helping me feel more optimistic and sort things out. There is just something about seeing a professional that you can't get anywhere else.
Speaking of elsewhere. Spend more time with friends, make new ones, reconnect with old ones, get involved with activities, meet new people and have new experiences.... things YOU'VE always wanted to do. Sometimes situations like this help us to reconnect with ourselves again, and areas we've always wanted to develope and haven't yet. You can get yourself lost in a relationship and forget who you are and your needs.
Get yourself strong and independent first and it will be easy to know when Mr.Right appears.
Good luck!
David
2006-10-20 14:08:14 · answer #2 · answered by David M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry? I'm sorry, I sincerely wish I knew a clever answer to that one. Sometimes all you can do is shake your head in disbelief at his stupidity, then hold your head up high and move on.
But don't let life pass you by simply because you invested so much time in someone who turned out to be a bad bet. His 21 year old chicky will only put up with his "mid-life syndrome" behavior for so long before she'll dump him for someone more suitable to her own age & lifestyle.
And don't frown about losing him - you never know who is falling in love with your smile!
2006-10-20 14:08:07 · answer #3 · answered by My Evil Twin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i went through this abt 3 years ago, it was the hardest thing i ever went through in life,thinking all was well, only to find out later on he had been seeing her for awhile. i think he left me way before he actually was gone. it began with name calling, picking fights and falt finding, and than silence, not inviting me to go to family get togethers anymore,not helping around the house. we even passed each other's cars on our street one day and he never looked my way,as if he didn't even see me. well when i found out about her i was beside myself, mentally ill, couldn't make up my mind who i hated more him, or myself. well i truly wanted to wait it out i wanted my husband back, but instead i filed for divorce, didn't want it, but i knew i could never get past what he had done or how he had done it. i moved away, left in a big moving truck the day of my divorce for my home state, met someone else, moved on and now have a nice home, and i don't have to work anymore.i would say i got a better life, but i still look back on it and wonder why, there are days i still hurt, but not as bad as when it happened, it happened because he is selfish and has no morals, and you just can't let someone disrespect you like that and take them back, cause they will only do it again, we can change ourselves but we can't change the other person.
2006-10-20 14:59:13 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has moved on but it could be just a thing. Men his age go through a midlife crisis and this is one of their outlets. They just wake up one day and look at their life and see that if is not as happening as it used to be or like the divorced guy at work and that is the life they think that they want once again. Eventually they look at things again and realize it is a mistake and by then you have since moved on so i would suggest moving on as hard as that may be.
2006-10-20 14:27:29 · answer #5 · answered by Lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I don't know how to answer your question, but you are not alone. I am going through something similar, just that he is not living with another women. He left and I have no clue as to why? I feel for you. Loving someone as much as we do, this isn't fair or right. All I know is that I keep praying for an answer. Maybe God will answer us both very soon.
2006-10-20 14:09:17 · answer #6 · answered by a m 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's called a mid-life crisis. When men get into their 40's they need to know they're still studs so some of them start chasing younger women and driving sports cars. You have my sympathies and good wishes for starting over.
2006-10-20 14:04:47 · answer #7 · answered by Joanne B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not to be blunt but, I don't think he's worth it. You may have loved each other at one point but, if he's dumped you and now has a girlfriend, I'm not sure he's worth your time. You need to move on. Show him that you don't have to rely on him and show him you're strong. Not only show him, but show yourself, your kids. You can't change what he did and though you should forgive him, don't trust him like that anymore.
2006-10-20 14:08:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋