To tell your 9 & 11 year old children that their parents are divorcing? Does anyone have any experience with children around these ages or if you were one, any advice or suggestions would be very much appreciated. Thanks.
2006-10-20 13:57:38 · 9 answers · asked by Completly in love... 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We are telling them tonight and I am petrified of their response, my stomach is completely in knots!!!
2006-10-20 14:03:40 · update #1
No I am afraid there is no easy way. If you are absolutely sure that there is nope hope for your marriage and that divorce is the only way....then about all you can do is Tell them the truth. That does not mean telling them that Mom...or Dad is a jerk and you can not live like this anymore. Just explain to them that you are BOTH not happy with the way you feel about each other....and that in NO way does this reflect on how you both feel about them. That you BOTH will ALWAYS be there for them and that you both love them very much. They will have a thousand questions for you guys and all you can do is try to answer them honestly without blaming anyone for what is happening and do not go into too much detail.
I have been on both sides of this fence...with my parents divorcing and with my kids when I got divorced....and its hard both ways. But to this day I can not forgive my mother for some of the things she said about my Dad so be careful what you say.
Best of luck....and make sure that this is the ONLY way.
2006-10-20 13:59:59 · answer #1 · answered by oldman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 8 when my parents got a divorce. They went to court and mom got custody of us. Dad asked the judge if he could take us on a 2 week trip out to Wisc. to see our grandparents so we did. I love my dad and I understand why he did it was because he wanted us. My dad kidnapped us, we lived in Florida for 2 weeks then in Canada for about 2 weeks and dad had passports made fixing to take us to Germany. I fell out the screen window 1 day and my brother went out and told somebody. It was quite an experience. Well, I'm 29 now and I think the whole divorce and everything made me a stronger person. I think I turned out o.k., I have a full time job I've been at for almost 10 years now. I have never done drugs and drink only wine coolers once in awhile. I have a 10 year old son who's just great! With everything that happens a lesson is learned and that only makes a stronger person. I'm sure everything will work out for the best. As long as your kids know that you both love them and will always be there. Good luck.
2006-10-20 14:09:26 · answer #2 · answered by chrisser 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad to say , there is no easy why...Children nowadays see so much on tv, that they understand things better. But it still hurts.
You and their dad need to talk to the children together, no matter how much you two may not be able to stand each other at the moment (if that is so) and try to be as loving as possible, explaining things ...for the children's sake. LOL
2006-10-20 14:08:19 · answer #3 · answered by xman77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have and 2 of them were at that age
just be honest and answer all their ?s
don't hide things, try not to hurt each other in front of them
but most of all don't let them use the di against you children will try to get their way when parent are going throw a divorce
Good luck
2006-10-20 14:15:42 · answer #4 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost reassure them its not their fault, because they really think it is, let them know just because Mom and Dad don't love each other anymore that you both love them and that will never change, and most important don't bad mouth one another ever to the kids, don't tell them if Dad isn't paying his support , and etc. And be civil to one another for the kids, keep your problem between you to your selves. Good luck to you all.
2006-10-20 14:48:56 · answer #5 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the 2 parents are civil to each other than you both should break the news to them together. don't place blame just say that you have grown apart ect... try to still be a family but in separate homes. best of luck
2006-10-20 14:04:27 · answer #6 · answered by ash 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are lots of neat tricks ...the short story ...just reassure them they are loved by both of you and always will be....... have a clue on whos gonna live where ...that will come up .... be sure to tell them they will see both of you on a regular basis ... just remember kids fear change in a routine and loss ...... be sure they understand the changes and that they will be loved.
Good Luck !
2006-10-20 14:14:33 · answer #7 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no easy way. never been thru a divorce so i dont know what to tell u. as a child we had to escape our step father (who was a great father to us, but worlds worst husband to our mother) bc he beat her all the time infront of us.
2006-10-20 13:59:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my parents divorsed but i was really young and i dont remember
but i bet i cried
ussually they need something to get over it for them
like a hobby
or a toy
2006-10-20 14:02:00 · answer #9 · answered by Alex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋