My goal is to start developing some friendships so what I am doing is stepping out of my comfort zone by first going to different residence halls to eat. If you are in college you know what I am talking about). Well I get there I purposely sit at a big table so when it gets crowded people would be forced to sit their with me. But when they actually sit down I freeze up I sit there and not say one word but they don't say anything either. If I don't find the courage to strike up conversations I will never make any friends. What should I do? What should I say?
2006-10-20 13:36:27 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Dining Out ➔ United States ➔ Other - US Dining Out
when I say big I mean like a six seater three seats on both sides those usually don't attract crowds usually just individuals.
2006-10-21 08:55:52 · update #1
`Your problem may be that you are at a BIG table. Come a little later and search the room for a small table with ONE person at it. Ask to sit down and share the table. It might be easier to start a conversation with just one person that a whole tableful of them. Talk about the school football team or the lousy food or something that the whole college knows about (perhaps a problem with the "Greeks").
Also, in class, sit in the SECOND seat in the row. Talk to the person at the end of the row.
If you are good in some subject (and others know it), ask some of your classmates to form a study group. It's a great way to get to know somebody AND form social attachments.
2006-10-20 13:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by SPLATT 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've (at least partly) answered your own question: find the courage to strike up conversations!
But, back that up a little bit. Don't stress so much on the idea of conversing. You could begin by simply (politely) asking someone to please pass the salt. Or, if they're eating something that you're not, ask them about that...(like ooooh, is that broccoli cheesecake good???) And proceed from there, asking more personal things like where are you from, what's your major, what do you think of (this hall, campus, city, whatever...).
It IS possible that the people who eventually sit down around you are as nervous as (or even more so than) you about talking to "strangers".
Finally, if you hit a dud -- or three -- (and you probably will; there are a lotta duds out there!), don't let him/her/them put you off...or push you back into silence. Persevere!
Good luck!
2006-10-20 20:55:51 · answer #2 · answered by pat z 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't pay attention to your own discomfort, pay attention to the other person. Notice something about them, comment on it and they'll be pleased. Anything. Earrings, a ring, a sweater, their hair. You think you have to impress people, but you don't. All you have to do is give them an opening to talk about themselves. In the past couple of days, I commented on a medical receptionist's ring. She's getting married in two weeks. I didn't know that before. When I went to get the prescription filled, I commented on the woman's rings. She told me that the engagement ring was from a discount store (it's now out of business; we agreed that was a shame) and that she had the wedding band custom made to match it. I told a grocery store clerk that she had just a hint of strawberry blond in her, and it looks really neat. People smile at you, they thank you, sometimes it starts a conversation. Pay attention to others, not your own discomfort, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
2006-10-20 21:15:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I admire your attempt put it takes a lot of courage to start a conversation with a total stranger. One secret to making people talk is to make them think that they are interesting and have something to say. If you insist on your dining hall venue, find something interesting or different on another person's plate and ask them about it. If they have a salad, spinach is a very topical issue. If have spinach, compliment their courage. If they have everything except spinach, talk about that.
Bon chance et bon appetite
2006-10-20 20:57:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm kind of the same way, but maybe you could just be like What's your name? How do you like going to school here? Talk about the weather- its kinda generic, but when you first meet somebody the generic stuff gets off to a start, you know, you cant just walk up n wanna tell your life story... but if that would make you happy, go a head people are usually cool and sometimes they feel the same way you do. Just be you, and show it, people tend to respond.
2006-10-20 20:41:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get a part-time job waiting tables. You will meet so many people, feel more comfortable talking to people you don't know, and make some cash.
2006-10-20 23:39:55 · answer #6 · answered by Silvia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say "hi!" or "hey" belive me, they wont think your weird for saying hi. its what normal people do when you see someone. as long as you dont sound too eagar. also you may have not thought about this, but when you freeze up, they might take it the wrong way, and acually be intimidated by you. just seem welcoming and you will have many friends.
2006-10-20 20:42:13 · answer #7 · answered by Mitra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say hey i like your sandwich whered you get it
nah but seriously just say hi you'll be amazed at how many friends you can make with that word
2006-10-20 20:39:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Say Hello good morning etc. How are you. Nice day.
2006-10-22 04:52:49 · answer #9 · answered by jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be your self , everything will come natural. friend you need to watch the Jerry spring show your be luck if you could find a true friend friend or hard to find.
2006-10-20 20:52:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋