The first time I married I just turned 18 and that didnt last very long thank God we had no kids from that union. He was a mommy's boy. The second time I married to my kids father he left me for another woman, a much older woman older than he and I. Who knows maybe he had a mother fixation. I did marry again but not until 15 years later and he was killed by a drunk driver.
I have been told by family and friends that maybe I was never meant to be married, I thought thats depressing, alone forever. Do I kill my self now or later...just kidding. I just find it hard to believe that I will never find that right person, the one meant for me. I don't know, who knows maybe he is out there someone where.
2006-10-20 13:26:13 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hell no! You marry only for the benefits... that's pretty much the only + in the hetero suicide pact. Else... single life beckons.
2006-10-20 13:29:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Marriage that lasts a lifetime isn't really a very realistic or satisfying expectation for most people. Romantic love is designed to keep a couple together long enough to get their kids up and running (say 15 years TOPS for a couple with multiple kids). If we were designed to be happily married to one person forever we would stop being attracted to other people the moment we formed a commitment.
We all know that does not happen.
You have had some hard knocks. You married young and it was probably best for both of you that you parted ways. Your next marriage--let's face it you picked a jerk. You are better off without him though it's natural to have scars from that type of experience. And your third husband's death was just a tragedy caused by an idiotic 3rd party. Again, I can see why you would have emotional scars.
Don't worry about whether you 'should' be married or not. There are very few 'shoulds' in life. Do what feels right to you. Look for the right man and enjoy the search....enjoy the journey even if the destination seems impossible to reach!
2006-10-20 13:33:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do whatever you feel is best. I know at least two women having almost the same problems. They both got married young and have kids and then the husbands left them. They spent their youth being single parents working hard saved every dime. They finally managed to pay off the house, raised the kids and open a shop, then they married the wrong men. This time the men took away the houses that have been paid for and the shops went bankrupt. But guess what, they still go on dates!
I heard someone said this before : "the best way to heal a broken heart is to fall in love again". Hope the best for you!
2006-10-20 13:53:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad someone else asked this question, cause i have thought about it myself. Actually i don't think marriage is for everyone, although, i myself do not want to be alone forever. I have been married twice and divorced twice. The first one lasted 4 yrs. and the second one only lasted 1 yr. I say now that i will never get married again, but i just say that, cause i don't want to spend my life alone, without a mate. I've always been told that the "right" one is out there somewhere, just don't look hard. The time that you don't look is when he will come around. I've still yet to believe it cause i don't wait for that moment. So all i can say is Good luck and hopefully you will find "MR. RIGHT" someday soon.
2006-10-20 13:39:12 · answer #4 · answered by pigs71 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel! Luckily for me I'm just on husband #3 right now.
I also got married at 18, right out of highschool. We were married 4 years and had a son and then he left me and I married an older man with custody of his 4 daughters. He was emotionally abusive and let his daughters emotionally abuse me, and I finally divorced him after 10 years of hell.
I just got remarried in June. I've known my husband for 2 years and am totally, head-over-heels in love with him. He's the most wonderful man I've ever met in my entire life. But he's 18 years older than me, so I know that he'll most likely die before me.
So - what will I do when he's gone? Get married again? Be on husband #4? I feel like an early version of Liz Taylor or something.
I think I'd at least date if I were you. Life without a man would majorly suck for me.
2006-10-20 13:34:09 · answer #5 · answered by farmgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there are some people who hurt others that are not meant to be married. But everyone else has an equal chance to be married and deserves a great marriage.
It is not easy to find the right person as you well know. When you stop looking for the right person, he will come along.
Take care and do not lose heart,
Troy
2006-10-20 13:47:28 · answer #6 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anyone could meet someone right for them at any time. If you have a positive attitude and are prepared to 'go with the flow' life might just give you what you are looking for - maybe someone in the same position as you who is thinking the same things.
Don't let the past get in your way. All that is over now, you have learned from it and you are a bigger person now. Good luck!
2006-10-20 13:34:54 · answer #7 · answered by Markie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like to believe that yes there is someone out there for everyone. I think that sometimes we pick the wrong person to be with rather than waiting. We all seem to get caught up in this thing where we HAVE to be with someone right now to make our lives complete. After all...the clock is running, all my friends are married and having kids, ect. When we think like this we make bad choices....rather than waiting for the "right one"
When I finally meet my soul mate......I was NOT in any way looking. So stop looking and you will find tha right one....really you will *S*
Best of luck....and stop looking*S*
2006-10-20 13:40:51 · answer #8 · answered by oldman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No they are not right. You are meant to be married and in fact you married more than twice. Now how can we accept the words, your family say.
In my point of view, you selection is based on emotions and not on realities. If you go for realities then the marriage should continue. Moreover for continuation both partners have to sacrifice some thing or the other. Both or atleast one should be flexible to ignore some of the issues. Its not possible that one stick to one's demand and then say that the marrigae is going smooth.
2006-10-20 13:35:35 · answer #9 · answered by MY Regards to All 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easy to get discouraged when you've had these experiences. But nevertheless, you shouldn't dwell in it too long. The first thing you need to do is figure out what can you do to skip to the next level. I mean, to stop being such a jerk magnet. You have to change a few things about what kinds of men you fall for. WHen you have this solved, you get your life back together.
And if you like to marry fine, if you don't, that's fine too... Just don't do jerks anymooo'...
2006-10-20 13:53:11 · answer #10 · answered by Pivoine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are just making poor choices in men; except with the last one, that was definitely an accident. I do believe that there's someone out there for you; I just hope that over the years you have gained valuable experience that will help you choose the right guy.
2006-10-20 13:30:50 · answer #11 · answered by LiveLifeBeGood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋