Personally i always believed that if you cheat once you will do it twice, i believe that if someone cheats in any relationship it shows an evident lack of integrity and respect towards the partner however i have been faced with a rather difficult case to deal with. I see the genuine intention of the girl to make things right and she strives tirelessly to gain my trust back, i haven't made up my mind completely but i am quite indecisive, usually i do not forgive that action but the circumstances that surround this issue are rather complicated and she told me almost as soon as it happened crying (i know i don't believe the tears that much) and really histerical and i could see it that she was sorry for what she did however i do not know if i should give her another chance or not.
2006-10-20 12:59:07 · 17 answers · asked by ericktravel 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You really don't want to give her that second chance. That has come across rather well in your narrative. That being the case, get the breakup over and done with, because you won't be able to live with yourself otherwise.
YOU have personal integrity...keep it!
2006-10-20 13:02:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm inclined to agree with your observations about the integrity and trust issues. Once a cheater always a cheater. This girls actions are motivated out of guilt and her regrets are an attempt for you to take her back. The truth is she can never regain your trust. Not totally. The reason being is that there will always be, in the back of your mind, this nagging doubt. You will always wonder what she is up to when she happens to be out of your sight. This is the root cause of your indecisiveness. You will never be sure and that is what is driving a wedge between you two. You already have misgivings about the "crocodile" tears. Sure you can give her a second chance. You can say that you forgive but, can you truly forget?
2006-10-20 20:28:06 · answer #2 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to understand that cheating is not a mistake, it is a choice a person makes freely. A mistake is 2+2=5. And a person who cheats is not only not totally commited to the partner, but is also being dishonest. Dishonesty is the ultimate sin. There can never be a complete level of trust with someone who has been dishonest. If you had a friend over your place & later you realized that the friend stole something from you, would you ever be able to trust that person into your home again? Well I believe that the most important thing to a person should be themselves. And no one should be allowed to abuse the person in any way. Cheating is a violation of trust against your person.
2006-10-20 20:07:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's not always true but in most cases it is. When I was 16 I cheated on my boyfriend and saw all the hurt that it caused. I have been faithful ever since to all my boyfriends and now to my husband of 22 years. It's just not worth screwing up something that is good. I would give her one more chance but if she screws up again she is showing a pattern and I would never trust her again.
I have also been on the other side of that equation with my first husband and I gave him several chances but after 2 years I couldn't take it anymore. So I know how it feels to be on both sides and it's not a very good feeling either way.
2006-10-20 20:06:08 · answer #4 · answered by unicornfarie1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im not so sure that whether she does it again is the real question. i think the real question is, can you ever really forgive her? will you question everything she does, wondering if shes cheating again? cheating damges trust to a point that its often hard to repair. usually you have to go to counselng to repair the damage that has been done. in my opinion, if you really love her, and are really commited to trying to make it work, you should go to a couples counselor. Otherwise, i think you will have a hard time moving on from something so hard to deal with. and as far as "once a cheater, always a cheater", i believe it depends on the person. if they learn and grow from their mistake, i believe tthey can change.
2006-10-20 20:03:52 · answer #5 · answered by faiths13 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think in order to be in a relationship there has to be a bond.. something that keeps you wanting to see that person.. i dated someone for 2 years... he cheated on me and i found out and he promised that it would never happen again.. well it did.. actually it happened a lot. i learned that he really just couldn't keep from doing it.. he was looking for something that i didn't give him somewhere else.. needless to say if she had to look somewhere else or thought that she needed to do that then she will do it again.. but the next time she wont be so easy to tell you.. she will think that you will just take her back like you did before and she will have to suck up till you get over it.. close your eyes and think do you need her? do you love her? can you live without her? would you do that to her? and why did she do that?... if you answered no to any of them or you don't know then move on there are plenty of fish in the sea you just need new bait!
2006-10-20 20:06:57 · answer #6 · answered by doto7640 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Speaking from experience, if someone cheats once, they have the ability to cheat again but that doesn't necessarily mean that they will. If she is honestly sorry that she did it (and not just that she got caught doing it) and she feels like you are the one for her and you feel like she is the one for you, give her another chance. She is only human and was susceptible to a moment of weakness.
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
2006-10-20 20:07:23 · answer #7 · answered by butrfly1978 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
who knows but everyone deserves a 2nd chance. (not a third) I cheated on my ex-boyfriend all the time cause I could and I never planned on doing it I just wanted to have fun and I didn't take the relationship seriously.Give her a 2nd chance ...... after all she was honest with you cause she really likes you. and it probably happened so fast she didn't have time to think it through.
good luck,Fancy
2006-10-20 20:04:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think it depends on the relationship if the person cares about the other one then they prob. arnt going to cheat. but u never now. ppl make mistakes. 2nd chances are good though
2006-10-20 20:01:27 · answer #9 · answered by raysbabygrl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to keep bringing it up to her then say goodbye. If you have a heart big enough to forgive her then hold her in your arms and try again!
2006-10-20 20:04:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋