Sex and underage children, what are your thoughts?

Question

Most people believe that it is the job of parents to explain to the children about sexual intercourse. Now, my question is, what age would be the socially acceptable age to tell them about it? What impact would it have on them? And what are some disadvantages of it? It seems to me more and more underage children are having sex, some as early as 10.

Answer 1

Unfortunately, there really isn't a general age that you should talk to your kids about it. In fact, I'm dreading the day I have to sit down with mine, because I'm afraid of when it could be.

Talking to your kids isn't going to go out and make them have sex. Unfortunately, kids now are introduced to sexual content at very young ages, some of the time at no fault of the parents. Other kids at school, their friends, the T.V., adult conversations, books, magazines...they all are more adult oriented and have a vast knowledge of sex now than they did decades ago when my parents grew up.

I used to work at a Children's Crisit Unit. I had 6 and 7 year old kids talking about sex, describing certain acts in GREAT detail, and even kids as young as 10 thinking they may be pregnant (and two out of fourteen actually WERE!). It's the OVERALL environment, not just the home environment.

As parents, we can't control every second of our kid's lives. Unfortunately, they have to go to school where extremely underpaid teachers are in charge over over-populated classrooms. The majority of the time they are there, the teachers have no clue what is being said.

It's our responsibility to teach our children when we feel the time is right. I never really got a "sex talk" when I was younger, and I turned out fine. However, some kids that never get a talk with their parents get way in over their heads at a young age. Discuss safe sex, waiting until marriage, what happens when you have unprotected sex, etc. Obviously, a very young child won't understand, but you can tell them about the birds and the bees, and leave the other stuff until they get older.

If you set boundaries and keep involved in your child's life, it shouldn't be a problem. Who cares about when it's "socially acceptable". You know your kids better than anyone else. When they need to have the talk, you will know, and you should do it.

Answer 2

I think it depends on the maturity evident in the child, and where they're being raised. If, for example, they're being raised in a city, it's perfectly acceptable to cover the basics immediately before puberty.
I told my oldest niece about sex (not everything, just the basics, and why it's bad to have unprotected sex and/or sex before marriage) when she was ten. She never slept around. She's been with fewer than five people, including the man she's about to marry.
As I said, though, it depends on the child. I got basic sex education from my sister when I was ten, and then got the whole thing in either seventh or eighth grade. I think eighth. I wasn't exactly virtuous.
The disadvantages of teaching a child about it is that depending on who's teaching them, it may not do any good. Fact is, if they're NOT taught to have responsibility for their actions, it's entirely possible that they'll be pregnant (or get someone pregnant) at fifteen.
I always told my niece it was safest to wait until marriage to have sex, but if she was going to do it beforehand, to at least make sure she was protected!

Answer 3

I think it is my job to talk to my kids, but I am not against having education in the schools either. I am struggling right now with what age is the right age, I think it has to vary by the child. Some children are more mature than others. I don't think offering high school students access to protection is bad either. The "if you give it to them they'll have sex" thing is bologna. If they are going to do it, they are going to do it, lets at least try and make it safer(note...there is no safe sex...). People are to over zelous about "keeping kids from knowing about sex"...HELLO THEY ALREADY KNOW!!!!!
All I can do is hope that I teach my kids that they can talk to me, and how to keep it from messing up their lives. Thats what my mom did with me, and I turned out ok........

Answer 4

it depends on the child. all children mature at different ages. but if the behavior seems to be coming earlier then expected then it is time for a talk.
i remember my mom telling me about sex when i was young. i didn't really care because i didn't even notice boys yet.
i don't believe that talking to children about sex makes them want to have it, especially if they learn what some of the consequences are (show them pictures of genital warts and they will keep their pants on)
but i believe it should be done by 12 at the latest. i was approached by a classmate when i was 13 to have sex. (i didn't do it)

Answer 5

Each child is different and should be told when they are ready not before. The schools should teach as well as the parent, but wait until grade seven. by then I would think that most children are mature enough

Answer 6

children are taught sex ed, in their first years at school,and with all of the information available to day every where you look, it is really strange that they changed the laws from 14 to 18 for the age of consent or is it that the female sex is getting dummer, when the age of consent was 14 and people were marring at that age there were a lot less divorces??my grand mother married at 13 , had 9 children and was married for 60 years and was 73 when she died , there are lots of related stories ,
now if a 18 year old has sex with his 17 year old g,f, he is a criminal with a sex offenders title for life,don't you think this is stupidity in its rawest form
however when men seduce young girls 14 or below with money or promises or?? they should be punished

Answer 7

The double common stems from the previous regulations/ mores concerning marriage and relatives rights. a guy develop into in ordinary terms in charge to shelter young toddlers born under wedlock. Illegitimate toddlers have been completely the duty of the mummy. a guy's toddlers have been seen as his assets and if somebody grimy his daughter by way of making her pregnant it develop into seen as an affront and criticism against the guy. If a son have been given a female pregnant he develop into only sowing wild oats in fact it develop into no longer that uncommon for a guy to purchase his son a hooker as a appropriate of passage into adulthood. to that end it develop into made a regulation to guard the extra youthful single women, despite in the event that they could get married often by way of 13. so so which you may nevertheless have intercourse with a youthful female, you only had to marry her first.

Answer 8

Parents are the best determiners of when children need to know what...

The fact that there are parents who are not doing their job in no way changes my answer...

With my child, it has and will continue to be an ongoing conversation, based on his developmental level and usually, I still manage to stay one step ahead of what he hears on the bus...

Answer 9

There is an age where a child realizes there are things different, and each child is different.
It should remain a parent choice and decision, and the health and welfare of a child is paramount.

Answer 10

Maybe that is because we throw it at them too young. I plan to wait till I am asked and not push it.