Me and my Wife have been separated for a couple of years and we had been trying to reconcile and were on the verge of reuniting. Then one of her old running buddies enters into this picture and ever since, she's been going out a lot and started dating. Now when I bring up the question of where we stand she says she can't tottally commit herself to me and she's also been bring men around our 12 year old daughter without notifying me or asking if that would be okay, eventhough we're not officially dicorced, etc; I also helped raise her 18 year old daughter from a previous marriage, that she never pursued support from, But she's always threatening me with having to pay in the event we never get back together.
2006-10-20 10:48:44 · 5 answers · asked by gnut2767 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well heres my opinion. If she truely loved you, she wouldnt be going out with other men. Thats the bottom line. She would be working her butt off to be with you. I am married, my husband and i have had rough times but ive NEVER even thought, maybe ill o out with someone else. Coming from a womans point of view, she was holding on to you as a back up, does that make sense? In case it doesn't work out with Mr. Right now, she wants to keep things open with you so she won't be alone. She doesnt deserve you, thats obvious to me and Ive never met you! Clean breaks are much easier to recover from than the messy kind you are involved in, but its not too late. I wonder if your self-esteem is high? Go out, make yourself feel better, get that divorce, pay support for your daughter and get on and meet new people, have fun LIVE YOUR LIFE! I'm sure this situation is hurtful, i would be very sad if i was in your place, but it seems it should be over and that you shouldnt be trapped in this situation any longer.
2006-10-20 10:57:08 · answer #1 · answered by cherokee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Jamie T
Here's a twist you might want to think about. How about you try for custody of your daughter and have her pay you child support?
Two things though. Don't do it out of spite. Only do it if you think you can do a good job at it and as good if not better than her.
When my wife and I separated I had custody of the children because I have the family support to help me more than she did. I can still remember her face when I explained to her that since she only had the kids for weekends she would have to pay ME child support according to the way California decides child support is distribution. Having to pay out money for your mistakes is an eye opener. I think its about this time that she started to realize that her fresh start wasn't going to as rosey as she thought. In the end she realized that her expectation where unrealistic and she's been much more practical since.
2006-10-20 18:27:41 · answer #2 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her to either commit to me or move on. I would clearly let her know that I wouldn't ride the fence on this situation. She wants you to wait around for her while she is out sowing her oats and having a good time. If I were you I wouldn't be there when ever she finally woke up.
2006-10-20 17:52:57 · answer #3 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has already told you that she can't commit to you, so how is it that you are trying to reconcile? Maybe you are, but she definetly isn't. Its time to finalize the divorce. Take your daughter with you, her mother is setting a very poor example for such a young girl.
2006-10-20 17:55:34 · answer #4 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know "jamie T" could be on to something, you should really think about what jamie is saying. Sorry that this happening to you . Good Luck & God Bless!!
2006-10-20 18:03:56 · answer #5 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋