How do you break the monotony of a normal life?

Question

In college I had a sense of destiny. Now I've been out of college for 5 years working a normal job. I'm married now, so I feel like my responsabilities to family and work limit how much attention I can give to my desires of wanderlust. I've always wanted to do something that would be unique, exciting and meaningful, but it seems like that only happens to the few people in the tabloids. It's always been awkward for me to be spontaneous and I've been socially inept in the past (I'm making some progress though), but deep down I'm screaming to get out of the box and live a little. I keep defeating myself though with a "this is just how life is" attitude. I feel like I've been put into a box and there's no way out. I don't want to be fifty or sixty years old with nothing worth remembering.

How can I grab back ahold of my old sense of destiny and find some fulfillment in life?

Answer 1

Hey Avenger,
People tend to become a product of their environment. It sounds like you have just become a victim of your environment. Some people Work hard so they can play hard a few times throughout the year. Others, like myself tend to enjoy everything around them and if I'm not working hard, so what. Life is too short - I only plan to live to 150.

Bottom line it's a mind set. Start enjoying life as it is and soon those around you will begin to enjoy the environment that you have established. If your career is just a job, change what you can about it or look for another one.

As far as family is concerned, it is an investment. The more time and resources you put into it the greater the benefits will be down the road.

If the lack of money is what is holding you down, you have missed out on life. You will never be content with having enough funds for the next adventure.

Life is an adventure no matter where, how, or who you are doing life with at any given moment. Enjoy lt.

Socially, try taking a walk or run around the neighborhood and simply greet those you pass. If you notice them often, stop for a minute and converse, even if it's just to say "nice ride/lawn/dog" then close the conversation with "well, I've got to go. Take Care".
It's as simple as that. I am an introvert myself and in my younger years I was afraid to confront/communicate with people. Since then I have learned that communicating with any subject to any one can be greatly rewarding and respectful of others (shows others that you are willing to take time for them).

Be sure to tell your wife that you love her every day, especially when you are less than happy with her. You wouldn't believe how much magic is in those simple words. When she hears the "I Love You" often, your life becomes much more rewarding.

Good Luck with Enjoying Life.
Bird Dog

Answer 2

Everyone at one time or another feels this way. If you feel like you want to "get out of the box" all, or most of the time, then you have to take a good look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? I don't think that you have a good self-esteem. It happened to my sister, and she went into a depression and had to get help. She didn't think anything was worth while anymore. Gosh - you are young yet, and those twinkling stars in the sky are just waiting for you to grab one. You don't say whether you're a woman or a gent, but no matter who you are, why not sit down with your mate and do some serious planning. Make a date with each other for a weekend away. Then decorate your home with some cheery colors (flowers, pillows, paintings, etc.) and make a "simple" light supper - could even be pizza and salad - and have a few friends over. Try to gather a group of 6 or 8 people, including you and your spouse, and set a day each week that you all meet--for dinner, card game, movies and dessert at one of the group's home. Life can become very dull if you have nothing to look forward to. Love thyself and others will love you, too. Look for the good in everyone you meet, and don't be a "couch potato". There is so much to life. And when you are over 50 yrs old, you'll be surprised at what memories you'll have. Your memories can only be made by you and what YOU do with your life. DON'T expect someone else to pull you by the arm in order to make you happy. It's UP TO YOU, my friend. So - why not start right now. SMILE and phone someone up. Could be that you're only in touch with family and friends by E-mail. That's a NO-NO. There's nothing like talking to someone in person and even on the telephone. Join a bowling club, or other club you may be interested in, but DO IT. I hope this helps you and good luck. Remember - LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE OF ALL!

Answer 3

Your problem has more to do with your perception than it does with lack of fulfillment in your own life. Other people's lives always seem more interesting than our own. Indeed, if two people buy the exact same car on the exact same day, one will always think the other's car is just a little shinier, or runs a little smoother. We examine our own lives with a very critical eye; we see only the surface of other people's lives. To compound this, we only see what others want us to see...so when you read the tabloid stories about all the interesting things some famous person is doing, you are really only seeing the surface of a single event; a glimpse of what they want others to see, and nothing more.

Have you ever heard the song, "Common people," by Pulp? You should; it will give you some insight. In that song, it's a rich girl who thinks that being poor is cool, so she asks a guy for help. However, she will never understand how it feels to live her life with no meaning or control, and there's nowhere left to go. She will never attain what she wants, because what she perceives as being "Cool" comes from a foundation built on the experience of actually being poor for their whole life; something she will never have. Thus, any "Cool" she tries to emulate will only be superficial and without meaning.

You cannot live the life of another person; you can only live your own. The more you try to live the life of another, the further from your own life you get, the less meaningful your own life becomes. You need to determine what's important to you and you alone; then pursue that. Sports is always a great place to start; it benefits your mind and body. Try something simple, like bike riding some trails, roller blading, or even going out for a jog. You don't need a lot of money to get into it, and it will help you build the foundation necessary to pursue other goals in life - for instance, playing sports and excercise can lead up to you climbing a mountain. Just remember, take it one step at a time. Don't do the "Weekend warrior" thing; start small, and work your way up. Eventually, it will be others looking at your life and wondering why their life isn't as interesting as yours.

Answer 4

I find new food experiences to really help break monotony. You and your wife should have a date night and go out once a week (or two weeks) to an ethnic restaurant. Try Indian, Thai, Korean BBQ, Sushi, Vietnamese, etc. It won't cure wanderlust but can help you experience new cultures.

Also, do something like get your motorcycle endorsement and take a weekend ride. It is very exhilirating and you meet some really cool people in motorcycle riding clubs. It's something you and your spouse can do together and this will definitely help with wanderlust. You might even be able to swap childcare for these weekends with other people in the club and you hear about great trips that you would have no idea about taking if you weren't on a motorcycle.

Answer 5

You didn't say if you have children yet....if you do then I think your responsibilities outweigh your wanderlust needs and you need to take that into account.

I would recommend doing some radical, but not necessarily crazy.
When I was two years out of college my job seemed blah and I owed more than I was earning.... I saw a job ad in the paper (the same field I already worked in)...took it for the money and ended up in a job on a different continent. I was lucky but it changed my life. I still live in that foreign country.

So my advice is do something similar. If you are in the US, go get a job in a friendly country...eg Canada, the Caribean or Europe if you can. The details are for you to decide though.

By the way I think most people have thoughts of jazzing up their life a little and giving it more meaning. So a caveat on my advice is that sometimes it can be as simple as just getting a good hobby or volunteering in the community.

Answer 6

Break The Monotony

Answer 7

Adding some spice in life by finding new things to do helps me. It would be ideal if your partner's proactive about it too. Here are a few suggestions:

With your partner:
1) Try out ballroom dancing classes at your local activity center or community college.
2) Take your partner to the place where you first met (if possible) and relive the joy and memories.
3) Try switching tasks. For example, if you usually cook and your partner usually shuttles the kids around, then switch roles. Then, complement how the other contributes to the relationship.
4) Drop your kids off at their grandparents’ or friends’ place and go visit someplace new. It might be a spa or an interesting bed and breakfast out of town.
5) Spend time with good friends. Perhaps meet them at a restaurant or a bar.
6) Try on something totally new at bedtime. Attention grabbing is the key.
7) Surprise your partner with a gift out of the blue.
8) Tell your partner that you love him/her. Even if he/she knows, it'll be appreciated.

By yourself:
1) Try classes. It may be classes for a degree or an adult learning class or even a karate class. You’ll be working toward a goal, which may be tough at times, but once you reach your goal, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment.
2) Volunteer a portion of your time to helping others—like teaching someone how to read or caring for animals at your local shelter.
3) Find a new hobby and stick with it. Making a family album, for example.

With the family
1) Have an open house once a month or even once a year. Invite all of your friends and family. Watch a football game together or have your kids plan some games with their friends.
2) Get out of the house. Go to an amusement park or camping. Or visit a new state or country.

Answer 8

welcome to the world of responsible adulthood.

you can't capture the maverick bachelor days.. that's a no no... but you can liven up your family life. simple things let special occasions are a celebration and take the family out... amusement parks.. some island and take time off with them.. enjoy seeing the world in tiny increments... (and you can do this with the family and on a budget..)

have parties... (sensible ones now) for the kids and adults...

also do some soul searching... and also engage in some romance with the mrs. have a friend or someone professional and trusting attend to the children's needs during the evening and you and her can have a moment together out someplace.. capture some of that essence again.. do some resort stuff.. at a near by hotel (5 star please.. lesser is bad enough) and do the spa thing, relax.. meditate.. get pampered.. go dancing, have a few sips of some rather fine champagne..

do a wine trip.. with the mrs. the whole wine tour thing for a weekend.. spend a night at the local bed and breakfast.. sip some wine... steal some goblets...

go ballooning... have a professional show you how... learn to fly a plane on a budget teaching basis. :D

there's a billion things you can do that you can do for yourself and or if include the family at times. take up some sky diving lessons... that can be cheap and exciting for a moment.

go on a budget world tour, stay at franchise hotels and take the cameras with you and do some world exhibit thing and who knows maybe some small time publisher will take the images and publish them... do a diary of it, a blog.. and submit it... and do some writing from the experiences.. and do some based on reality thing... that can be rewarding and very much a possibility for noteriety also.

sort of a 'ameture journalist' thing. that was fun for me.

and i did small time indie movies too involving friend, family and a fixed budget. :D

so on...

just idears there's soooo many more that i can't think of right now and yahoo won't let me type in because it's a crap system and my browser is starting to slow a bit. :D

also have an internet t.v. thing too... a show of you or the family, friend and your excusions around places, the world, town.. about and other.

hell do a reality show of your life and put it up on a site.. :D so much to do...

along with other ideas i haven't mentioned yet or thought of.

:D

sorry for the spelling and grammar i'm dumb. :D (and yahoo spell check is just sitting there spinning in circles)

sorry didn't mean to assume ya were male.. that was accidental... if you are good if not no offense.. just replace mrs. with the mr. :D

it's saturday i got a half a bottle of wine in my digestive tract and i have to do gallery presentational crap that i rather be doing on monday instead!

i hope this helps you a tad.

life is not over. far from it!

hell turn all of this into a reality or video/dairy thing.. the progression of you capturing the essence of life you are engaging to endorse again.

:D how's that?

Answer 9

Oh my gosh! I have possibly the most average life you can imagine :) I'm 41 years old with a husband and two children. I'm a stay at home mom with a part-time nanny job.

Can I be someone who stands up for the point of view that sometimes excitement is overrated?

Meaningful and exciting do not always go hand in hand ;) Is the life of a botanist exciting? Probably not, but without their work we wouldn't have some of the amazing treatments for various diseases we have. Meaningful, but not what I'd call exciting.

Why do you need to feel a sense of "destiny?" Doesn't "destiny" negate anything you might do all on your own? How could you ever take credit for something great?

When I met my husband, he had no sense of responsibility to anyone. In the 9 years we've been together, it's taken a family to give him that sense of responsibility. And let me tell you from the "other" side of the coin, that I have never found someone as exciting, amazing or creative as him. He works every day, comes home every night and plays with his children. I cannot imagine that any "exciting" guy could come along and make me feel something different.

As far as being afraid of having done nothing worth remembering, may I suggest that you begin re-evaluating what you're doing? Sure, I completely understand your desire to indulge your wanderlust - and that's certainly something you can do! But it doesn't require you changing *who* you are - just how you spend your time!

Ask people you work with about good day trips in your area. We love to do that. We travel up to an hour and a half one way to get to some little hole in the wall botanical garden. We take a picnic lunch and wander around. Exciting? Nah, not really ;) But fantastic beyond words! Definitely a day worth remembering.

Meaningful is in the eye of the beholder. I hate to be cliche', but sometimes it's a cliche' for a reason - remember, "It's a Wonderful Life?" Think about it. He had no idea he was doing anything meaningful - he felt exactly the way you do. But he *did* do meaningful things. Important things. You have to!

If you need to get out of the box and "live a little," then do it! But *what* do you want to do? Do you want to travel to Paris? Do it! Decide when you'll take your vacation, book your flight and GO. Do you want to learn to scuba dive? Do it!

My main point is this - don't sell yourself short because you're tending to the home fires. I think if you can see yourself from the point of view of the people who lean on you - depend on you - you'll understand how very very noble and important and meaningful your life really is.

The rest is all window dressing - fun and an important part of life, but not the only thing worth remembering. Too many years of my life went by without ever taking note of the small things. They seem *so* important now.

I wish you the best in all you do :)

Answer 10

What to do? Photography, kyaking, hiking, yoga, making wooden furniture. It doesn't have to break the bank or sweep you away from your family forever. If you wife gets anxious and possesive because she is afraid that if you go start anything else that she will eventually lose you, tell her that if you don't find something to do with your life other than just work and pay the bills, she is going to lose you anyway. This is a normal, healthy, human need. Now making sure that you don't get totally lost in your new hobby (move to the Arizona desert to paint in a cave for a year, sleeping with a new friend you meet on a trip, etc.) is up to you. You should be able to learn and grow from your new experiences without losing touch with the life you already have

Answer 11

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How do you break the monotony of a normal life?
In college I had a sense of destiny. Now I've been out of college for 5 years working a normal job. I'm married now, so I feel like my responsabilities to family and work limit how much attention I can give to my desires of wanderlust. I've always wanted to do something that would be...