I received a lot of great answers and the general concensus was he can change but probably wont. How right you were! We attended a joint counseling session together yesterday where he said that he loved me, wanted to work it out, is making changes, etc. Then in the parking lot of the counselors office we talked some more. I asked him why a certain female was seen at his office just recently. He looked me in the eye and stood there and lied to me! I could tell he was lying as he said it but I was so dumbfounded that I could not speak. I guess he has given me the answer as to whether or not he will change himself and he doesn't even know it!
2006-10-20 10:25:18 · 12 answers · asked by COLLEEN F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he might be able to change...but i would make sure it wasn't me waiting around to find out or not! good luck here honey , once they do that , they will most likely do it again and just be more careful about it the next time.
2006-10-20 10:28:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what? Men can change in very rare circumstances such as...
a) he has to be at the point where he finally realises he is about to lose the most precious thing in his life. It could be the kids, you, or what you built together (assets etc) in that order.
b) if the act (cheating) creates so much trauma in his especially his life, then yours second and the third party last in that order. Basically when the world falls through for him because of this ie. his job insecure, his friends leave, his family are dissapointed, his health in trouble etc.
Other than these, a man who has cheated on you will do it without contemplating it.
This is the truth.
2006-10-20 10:45:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the personal experience perspective, Yes because Ihave changed, However ,it didn't happen over night and as I think someone already stated, it took for me losing everything. I had took for granted and didn't appreciate at the time the ones I was hurting. It also took opening my eyes and accepting the lord into my heart and allowing him to control my life. Also I might add that if one is truelly convicted to the lord and filled with the holy spirit they will not want to tell a lie or continue the disobediant behavior that they once led prior to having god take control.
2006-10-20 13:50:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Colleen....
Don't do what I did, I spent the last five years with my ex waiting for him to stop lieing and cheating. We would break up and get back together. Him always promising the bullcrap would stop. Eight days ago he was caught with a girls number he picked up at a drive thru restuarant. I couldn't take it anymore and told him I couldn't try anymore. Don't waste your years away like I did living on hope, it just leads to one disapointment after another.
When you love someone it is hard to let go, maybe you can accept the fact he is how he is. Care for him as a person and realize you just can't be a couple. I wish you the best and a happy future.
2006-10-20 10:49:18 · answer #4 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to think about yourself. Do you still love this man and are willing to work things out no matter what has happened in your marriage. Sometimes change is a little scarry because whe are unsure of the future ahead, but you need to be true to yourself and seek for a solution that is best for you. God Bless and good luck.
2006-10-20 10:53:21 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he'll change or not really gets back to why he is lying, and if there is a reason he is doing things he is lying about.
If he had no reason to do the things he is lying about, then he would not need to lie.
Go beyond the lie, find out the cause of the actions.
2006-10-20 10:45:56 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, all people in general are not hard wired to cheat nor lie. Secondly, it sounds to me like an emotional and sexual disorder to me. I don't think that he intentionally wants to disrespect you. I just think that he has not grasped hold of reality, meaning, responsibility and commitment. There are two sides to every story told. I was like that once and thought that I would never change. But it took me to look inside my self and soul search and see the insecurities that drove me to do so. It was, the end result of me not being happy nor satisfied in the relationship. You can't make flowers grow in a field of weeds.
2006-10-20 10:46:56 · answer #7 · answered by skawp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a man like what you just described would have to be in counsel ling for the rest of his days. It just in his natural, just like blood is in your veins, No the lying dog will never change, moved on and find a real man with natural honesty running in his blood
2006-10-20 11:12:12 · answer #8 · answered by Ellen J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will probably never change, and certainly not with you im sorry to say, There will be millones of men out there who will not like this, but as far as i am concerned 99% of men will lie and cheat, especially if its to do with sex.
2006-10-20 10:31:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ho won't change overnight sweety. Give the guiy a FAIR amount of time.
But NO more...if he flakes and gives you any reason whatsoever that he's into someone else, dump his sorry, unappreciative a.s.s and go your own way!
2006-10-20 10:31:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋