know this sound liek im a bad mom, but i have asked a previous question, and since then i found out that he has been asked to meet with the child support agency. so most likely he will have to pay soon. he then emailed and said if he pays i will have to let him see or keep our son on some days. Im worried since, he hasnt changed and still unstable. that's hanging out with drug dealers friends. i want him to established a trust as a responsible dad first before our son is in his care. especially with all all his records..im not sure if he's right tho, if he start paying will i have to let my son be in his care? you can see from my previous question with concern on why he shudnt see our son yet.
2006-10-20 09:55:53 · 12 answers · asked by worried 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
supervised visitation might work to see where he is in all this.
2006-10-20 09:59:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your answer depends on the State in which you live and their custody/visitation laws. In Pennsylvania, it is possible for a parent to be obliged to pay child support and still be denied visitation/custody rights. If your "ex" has an on-going drug problem, and you can prove it (arrest records, etc.), then you might well be in the clear. Do you have any women's resource centers in your area? They might be able to give you some guidance. In PA, you can also have an arrangement for supervised visitation, which means that he could visit your son, but only in the presence of a licensed social worker. Start with the blue pages in your phone book and look over the various social service agencies that are listed. You might be able to get some free help. If not, this might be a good time to invest a bit of money to secure a good attorney. If you can't afford one, the agency you contact may be able to connect you with an attorney who does pro-bono work. Lacking that, do you have some concerned family who would be willing to help with legal bills?
2006-10-20 10:05:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to get a lawyer and establish this through the courts. If he really is doing those things, they shouldn't make you let them be alone together, but supervised visitation will most likely be the outcome. But if you are still worried about it, just don't ask for child support. Just make sure that no matter what you do, you explain the situation to your son when he is old enough to understand it. If you don't he will always resent you for it. Trust me on that one.
Good luck. Kids are the most important things in our lives. If we truely want the best for them, we will see that happen.
2006-10-20 10:25:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can use his behavior to go to court and have monitored visits with a third party. He won't get non-supervised visits until he shows that he is responsible and would not put the child in harms way. Get written proof of his problems and present it to the judge to make sure your child is protected. It's the best solution for your situation because if he pays child support he will have a legal right for visits. Don't let this man intimidate you though. Do things this way and you don't have to deal with him on your own.
2006-10-20 10:01:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOPE what you do is be a step ahead. you tell the judge if you dont have time that he is not in a decent environment better yet go and get full custody and tell them why that you dont want your son to get killed over a drug deal and you dont want to be around that either so you dont want supervised visits either. he has to prove himself to you and society for 2 yrs straight and THEN GET TO SEE HIM. BUT ASSFACEE HAS TO STILL PAY CHILD SUPPORT!@
2006-10-20 10:05:28 · answer #5 · answered by renosgirl2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because he's giving you money to help you take care of your song, NO you don't HAVE to do anything. but if you want your son to see his dad. why don't you do it under supervision. make it so that he can only see his son. at your house. but.. your son might become upset with you when he gets older because you didn't let him see his dad... every child needs a dad.
2006-10-20 09:59:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who has custody of your son? If you have full custody then no. But if you and him share custody then you more them likely do. If I was you and had shared custody I would fight him for full custody. Your son does not need to be around people like that.
Also your not being a bad mom. You are being a great mother to your son.
2006-10-20 10:01:21 · answer #7 · answered by Debbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless there is an order saying you have to let him see him, you don't. If you can prove that he is unfit or will cause emotional damage by coming and going in and out of your childs life you might have a case.
2006-10-20 10:09:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here you have to let him see his son even if he doesn't pay!
2006-10-20 10:11:54 · answer #9 · answered by Littlebit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its sad but he'd have rights even if he didn't pay.
take him to court now and see about getting supervised visitation only.
2006-10-20 09:59:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋