Teenagers having babies...why?

Question

When are you teenagers going to realize having a baby so young is a bad idea? Dont you use condoms? Birth control? How are you supporting your kids? Are your parents stuck being the providers? Is your father the only solid male figure in their lives - is there a male figure in their life? How are you going to get educated, get a good job, find someone who will take care of you and your child for the rest of your lives? Do you regret it? Do you realize how hard the rest of your life will be?

I am 27 well educated happy with my life and am wondering all these quesitons because I have been reading some posts and it seems that many are proud that they had a child at 14 or 15. I understand that accidents do happen, it happened within my own family .. but why are these girls so into having a child so young? I think its totaly mind blowing the number of teen births - and really would like to know why and now after they had their baby for a year or 2 or 5 how they now feel about their young motherhood.

I have to appologize - I did not post this to come off as looking down on anyone. I really was just wondering the psychology behind teenage mothers... what caused their situation and how they deal with it and how they feel about thier future. I give you all credit for dealing with what life gave you and wish you all the best. As most of you implied that you wouldnt change a thing, neither would I. For those who got so defensive... whats up with that? And one last thing... why is it that so many of you (and many others in my life) got pregnant while on a form of BC? I and millions of other women use it all the time and havent gotten pregnant... did you really use it or are you hiding your bad judgement behind an "accident"?

Answer 1

I honestly think their stupidity stems from how they are being raised.

mb

Answer 2

Well, I got pregnant when I was 17, while being on birth control. My mother in law babysits my kids during the day while I work and their father sleeps. Other than that, our kids are home with us. I mentioned "us" in the last sentence, so you know that my dad is not the only man in their lives. I have a good job, some college and I'm going back to school next year. I have someone I'm spending the rest of my life with. No one can take better care of my kids then their own father.You shouldn't stereotype. Not all teen moms are the same. By the way, I've only been with 1 man and I've never used welfare to provide for my kids either. And to anser your last question; I don't regret anything that has happened. Life is hard no matter what, it's up to the individual to make their life what they want it to be.

Answer 3

I was sixteen and nineteen when my daughters were conceived, and in both situations contraceptives were used. I finished school two years later then I would have without getting pregnant, but I still got an education. As far as how their supported, I've worked a full time job since I was pregnant with my oldest. I was without a solid male role model, but that's not always the case. As far as finding someone to take care of me and them, that's kinda of my job! I don't need nor have I ever needed mommy or a man to take care of my responsibilities. A baby changes your life and makes it harder weather your 16 or 60, age doesn't affect that. Given the chance now at 23 to go back and change something..... I would make each and every decision in exactly the same way. It is very typical of our society to say hey your to young to have a baby, but some teenagers are capable of stepping up and being great parents. Others may not be ready, however this can apply as well to woman of any age. Maybe more teenagers would be willing to step up and be great parents if they were given a chance before they were judged.

Answer 4

I got pregnant at 19. Would you still look down on me for being a teen mother, even though I was using birth control, married, in college, AND own my own business. No, my parents dont support us. Yes, my daughter has a solid male figure, her FATHER, my husband, a man I have been with for four years, the ONLY man I have ever "been" with. I no longer go to college because I believe that being home with my daughter is more important, and I still run my business on the side. My husband has a wonderful job. It really hurt me to get comments from people like you while I was pregnant. People tend to think I am younger. In fact, just the other day at church, my grandmothers friend asked me if I was going to be a senior in highschool this year. I'm TWENTY-ONE. Oh well. But while I was pregnant, people saw me and assumed that I was young and single, and would give me dirty looks, scoff, or start lecturing me until I showed them my wedding ring and told them my age. Yes, I agree that there are many MANY irresponsible girls AND boys out there. But please, next time you see a girl like me, dont jump to the conclusion that she fits the sterotype of young pregnant idiot. She may really be a responsible, loving mother.

Oh, and I have NO regrets. I've never been happier. We get compliments all the time on our daughters happy and friendly personality, and are starting to think about baby #2. Age does not equal responsibility. My sister in law had a baby at 17, and is a WONDERFUL mother, married, just finished her degree in nursing, and works hard. There are plenty of 40 year olds that would make horrible parents. But I do belive that no one should be having sex until they are ready and willing to raise a child with their partner. Too bad more girls dont think that way. But dont lump us all into the same category of young and stupid.

Answer 5

What do you think about teenagers having sex? (Parents + Teens) = They should use protection cause they can get pregnant or some STD. Do you think that the majority of teenagers in KS4/Highschool are having sex? = I know I'm not (it's not by choice ....) I have no clue, I don't ask people about their sex life. What are your religious views about teenagers having sex? = Nothing .... I'm Catholic but I don't think of sex and religion together. Should condoms be available in the nurses office or in condom machines in the bathrooms? = Sure why not? Condom machines sound a little weird for a high school (makes me think it's some kind of brothel "easy access condoms") I think it's fine for them to be in the nurses office though (I don't even know where the nurses office is in my school, it might already have condoms). Teenagers of today, what age did you or are you planning on losing your virginity? = I'm 17 years old and am ready to go at any time, any place, with virtually anything human+female.

Answer 6

Teens are having babies for many reasons. First off- we need to stop making sex a glamourous thing and start looking down on people who have sex before marriage. I am a young mom- I had my daughter when I was 19 and had to raise her by myself. I worked 2 jobs and my daughter was in childcare for 12 hours a day to make ends meet. College was out of the question for a while and yes- my parents let me live in their house. I helped pay for things in the house though. Teens need to feel loved and, these days, since the parents are working all the time they look elsewhere to find that love. It's becominig a very sad world.

Answer 7

I had a child at 17 and i had a hard time but i wasnt about to have an abortion......i'm 22 now and i graduated high school im attending college and i'm married with the father of my second child who is 6 months.........there is no age to have children and no law maybe if there was teenagers would be able to live a normal teenage life......but free country for now.......its hard but i did it and i love my children to death they are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me....i dont at all support children having children i think they should have time to understand life before they have charge of one.....

Answer 8

I dont think it has anything to do with being stupid or dumb.
Some people just lack the teaching from their parents. Yeah they can learn about sex any where! But I think it really counts coming from a parent...or someone else who loves you.
Some even lack the love from their parents and think having a baby will give the the comfort they are looking for.
Some think that if they "give it up" then the guy will like them more. The don't think about protecting themselves until they get on Maury..."you are NOT the FATHER...."

Answer 9

Why are you asking so many questions about this? First off all i think that everybody can make their own decisions and if they want to have a baby at a young age that their problem..You can judge nobody. I am 22 years old, married and 5 months pregnant. I had enough fun in my life. You can`t ask ppl why they want to have a baby ..or what are they going to do with it..its not like they will ask you for money or something else..if you dont want to have children at a young age thats your problem..Everybody has their own life..belive it ot not

Answer 10

I'm 19 and I have a child who is eight months. I'll let you in on a little bit of my life. I grew up in a military home. I had rules and expectations. I followed every one of them. Yes, my father was in my life and I love and admire him so much. I've been to Japan, Korea, Turkey, all of the Western European countries--and many more, as I grew up overseas. I graduated a year early with a 3.9 GPA. I was 16 when I graduated and I moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) I got a certificate in phlebotomy and started on my associates. My cousin (who is five years old now) moved in with us--believe it or not we have the best situation for him to grow up in. My husband and I started wanting to have a child. We used condoms and BC before we wanted to get pregnant. After we started trying --duh-- we stopped. It took me a year and a half to conceive--I was on depo provera before that. I am a stay at home mom now for both my son and cousin. We live a very comfortable life--we have internet don't we? So now you know a little about me--let me answer your questions one by one.

1. It was the best idea I ever had and I'm so happy to have such beautiful kids in my life.

2. Yes but like any sane person who is TTC--I didn't use them

3. My husband is in the USAF. He was actually in Iraq when I delivered my son and for the first four months of his life--for people like you to have the freedom to judge.

4. Actually my father isn't in their lives--we live so far away from family. My husband and his friends are the only male figures in his life.

5. I only have six credits away from getting my associates in early childhood education and I have a certificate in phlebotomy. I found my husband--if he (god forbid) passes away I can support myself and my children.

6. Not one bit do I regret it.

7. It's not going to be hard for the rest of my life. It's going to be hard dealing with judgmental people like you--but I can get over that.

Now let me ask you a few things...where have you lived? Have you been to all the place I have? I could sit there and say you aren't nearly as qualified as me because you haven't lived all over but I don't. What makes you any different then me--other then age? What makes you a better parent then me? As far as I'm concerned I am a typical SAHM with everything she could ever ask for.

I'm now going to add on. My family lives far away so no, we don't get babysitters. No, we don't live off the government. AND no, we don't send our child to daycare.




EDIT TO ADD:

Why do people get so defensive? Well let me ask you what you would say if you had a child, were doing your best, trying your best, you were a good mother AND doing it all on your own and people looked at you dirty every place you went. What would you do if you were constantly stereotyped into an unfair category? How do you think it makes a person feel to be considered a bad mother just because of their age? Sure, when someone questions (which yours were very rude--you assumed every case was the same.) another persons ability to provide, nurture, love, and other ways support a child the person in question would get a tad bit defensive.

As for birth control. I have never gotten pregnant on it either but lets focus on statistics. For example the pill is only 99% effective. This would mean if you had sex 100 times statistically you would get pregnant on your 100 time. Sure, that doesn't happen to everyone. It didn't happen to me and it didn't happen to you. For all of the millions of people using birth control there are thousands getting pregnant from it. 1,000,000=99% effective=1,000 people who would end up pregnant. Do you understand that? Also there are women who don't use it correctly--I can't even tell you how many are misinformed about these things and feel they can take the pill every other day instead of everyday.

You need to step outside of the box and realize not everyone has to be a certain age to be a great parent. A forty year old could be a horrible parent, a twenty five year old could be a horrible parent, a sixteen year old could be a horrible parent but I assure you there are plenty more in those age groups that are excellent parents.

Answer 11

Accidents happen and yes I know some are very careless but some do use protection and birth control and still end up pregnant. It's hard to really judge when you dont know the individuals situation.