Okay, so the big PRENUP questions...what do i need to put in there? my fiancee wont marry me without it, he makes ALOT of money and i make 5 grand a month cash. He owns 3 buinesses and says in the prenup he is putting that in case we get divorced i get nothing I would only get the money in our bank account. and in our marriage im not allowed to be on any of the bank accounts, he will make a seperate one for our bills i can be on so i can contribute and pay bills only then we will have a savings account where we will both contribute to it and put in a certain amount for vacations...Thats it! Is this right?
Ive been married before and we were dirt poor in fact he totally took me in to his way of life and im very grateful, but damn....this just doesnt seem right somehow.
I am paranoid about divorce again,, so in the prenuop i will put if he is unfaithful in anyway his prenup is null and void he agreed to that. what else should we put in it and what about this bank account stuff?
2006-10-20 08:33:40 · 10 answers · asked by nikel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he even put me in his WILL that i only get the money in the bank account if he were to parish and that his father and mother get the equity in our house and all his assetts business and personal....i dnt mean to sound weirded out but this just doesnt seem right?
2006-10-20 08:38:34 · update #1
how do i explain that marriage is about sharing everything as one? I mean i make 5,000 a month thats pretty good but nothing comapred to his, how do i explain this to him? i will sign his prenupt but i think the bank account thing is rediculouse...please help!!
2006-10-20 08:42:37 · update #2
first let me ask you are you going to be paying the part of bills that are related to his business,overhead,employees,etc.if not then you need a prenup that says anything accumulated after the marriage you will be entitled to half should a divorce occur. the parents will die alot sooner than you or him if nature works out right, so then you would be the next beneficiary...other than that you really didn't have half of what he has now so you won't miss it should you lose it, but definitely make sure you get half of whats accumulated after the marriage or find someon that wants to share his whole life with you including the car, home, business, etc. i wish you luck honey and i'd put in if he can no longer get a hard on you get it all and then give him alcohol and sedatives lol good luck
2006-10-20 13:53:40 · answer #1 · answered by chameleon5657 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, i would first get some legal advice before signing anything. although....it is a cold subject when the person you want to spend the rest of your life with sounds like he's planning your divoce already.....maybe hold of on the marriage till this is all worked out and you feel better about it. if your having doubts then you don't want to enter a marriage with these doubts in your mind. he's put a lot of thought into his money. i would question what he loves better. his money or you. ask him if you two were already married........and he had to choose between his money and you. what would he choose? like to give it all up and start from scratch with you and vice versa. would he entertaine that thought or say it will never happen and not talk about it? then its almost an excuse to not talk about it or to give his opinion on what he would do. maybe hold off on the marriage for awhile. thats what i would do. a prenup.......sure......but so much detail. he really doesnt' hold much to sharing and taking care of each other. especially with someone you are supposed to love and cherish more then anything in the world. right down to planning every bill this far in advance.....i say thats to much.
2006-10-20 08:45:07 · answer #2 · answered by Jody SweetG 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow.. you really have a situation here... i would really love to help you if i can. i myself, have never been married, and im not planning on doing it. but you want to, and you think youve found someone who you can really share your life with. but he wont unless you make a prenup... my thing on prenup's :: a prenuptial agreement is a document that settles who gets what, and what gets who when a married couple decides to get divorced. i would never in my life even think of signing a prenup. that would mean that in some dark corner of my mind (or maybe the whole thing) i feel that we are going to end up divorced somewhere down the line. the fact that your husband to be wont marry you without you signing it tells me that he is more worried about protecting himself and his money more than he wants to start a new life with you by his side. all that bank account stuff backs up my theory. he doesnt want to be equal with you, he wants you to have a place and he wants to be the one to put you there. i personally would never think of marrying a person like that. i noticed that you didnt write any of your feelings on him or the 2 of you getting married. the whole prenup thing has you very frazzled (for lack of a better word) doesnt it? well follow and trust your gut... something else i noticed.. you spoke very kindly of your ex husband. what was wrong with being married to him? back on subject... the last thing you asked about if i remember right, was his will.
now if i remember right this is what you said:
the house that you 2 decide to move in, maybe raise a family in, live your lives in, will be his parents if something happens to him... does that make any sense to you? cause i doesnt to me!!! the man you love and respect (hopefully) will leave you nothing put bills, and a few dollars in a piggy bank when he dies.
YOULL BE HOMELESS!!! are you really considering marrying a man who would do somehting like that to you? and all while youre mourning his death!!!!
and this bank account doesnt have a set minimum on the amount in the account right?... meaning there could be a million in it at any given time or $50. this does not sound like true love to me, it doesnt even sound like love at all. i would not marry him and i sure as hell would not sign the prenup if i was going to.
remember prenup = the thought of divorce. i hope ive helped some. feel free to email me.
2006-10-20 09:09:24 · answer #3 · answered by luvn_bois_is_sin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand that he would want a prenup but he seems a little too controlling too me. I`d consult a lawyer before you sign anything. I`m sure that there is a way both of you would agree. His way seems too extreme. What happens if you have children. What happens if you end up investing time and or money into his businesses. Shouldn't you have a say? Consult someone before. At least you'll have a clear conscious. Good luck
2006-10-20 08:44:32 · answer #4 · answered by Dragonfly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His family and friends are probably telling him he'd be a fool to not get a pre-nup. He has a lot to be concerned about. Bob Dylan's song, "When you've got nothing you've got nothing to lose" is true. But pre-nup is about divorse, not marriage. He clearly lacks trust in you or doubts his ability to pick a good wife. He is overly concerned about money.
What goes into the pre-nup is up to you and him. He is working out the details with his lawyer. Get your own lawyer to review it to you. Ask which parts are common and which are unusual. Discuss your options and the consequences.
Instead of it all being "you get money from him", add a condition that if you are unfaithful to him you will get nothing. Thus, you too are committing to the relationship in a way.
See if you can get the pre-nup to phase out over a number of years, say 20% after 5 years and 100% after 20 years of marriage. By then you should be a full financial partner with him.
Make certain you are the sole beneficiary of a life insurance policy in case he dies. You don't want to be left penniless.
Don't sign it if you do not believe in it or think you will live to regret it. Personally, you could remain bf and gf without the pre-nup. If you both agree to get married then I don't see why you need the pre-nup. It is hypocritical.
2006-10-20 08:35:49 · answer #5 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why are you so in touch a pair of pre-nup, in case you think in a continually lasting marriage? despite the fact that if, if he needs you to sign one, then think of approximately what you prefer. Will you nevertheless artwork once you get married, are you making plans to have babies jointly and you ought to/prefer to stay at domicile for the youngsters ? for this reason, make valuable the pre-nup includes some fee for you, in case of a divorce. If he does no longer prefer to supply you 50% of what he has produced from the time you get married, he desires to comprehend, which you will might desire to get something - agreed upon till now you get married.
2016-11-24 20:09:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe people should go into marriage with any intentions of divorce....divorce should not even be an option. ...I am not a millionaire, I actually am a struggling college student, but I do know I would never marry a man that offered me a pre nup....for example...we all know Will Smith is an incredible family man and husband.......Jada Pinkett got a prenup done stating that she couldn't take any of his money if they divorce....And he laugh, and ripped it.....That is what marriage is about....trusting each other and sharing.....I've seen nasty divorces but com'on, if you gonna let you wife chill and spend thousands and thousands a month on hair and nails...your *** deserves to get got.
2006-10-20 08:39:19 · answer #7 · answered by AUDREY H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your fiancee really does love you, he loves his money. If he knows he will lose his prenup, he's not gonna cheat. And if you go through with a prenup, then you're kidding yourself. Marriage is when you become one as well as your belongings, home, bills, bank accounts, etc.
2006-10-20 08:39:43 · answer #8 · answered by gab_b_i 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Humm.. I cant understand your soon to be hubby wanted to protect his assests that he has acquired without you. however I feel his pre-up is too harsh, what if you have children? Do they get anything? you make a good amount of money so you cant ake care of yourself, however if he was to pass, and he loves you he should consider leaving somehting in his will for you.
Good luck, this pre-up thing will be tough. Speak honestly and dont settle for anything less than you deserve.
2006-10-20 08:42:56 · answer #9 · answered by vanessamustteach 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WANTS TO MAKE SURE YOUR NOT A GOLD-DIGGER. FINE YOU MAKE 5G'S A MONTH BUT HE MAKES ALOT MORE.
CANT BLAME HIM BABY.
I WOULD BE MAD THOUGH, I'D UNDERSTAND BUT STILL BE MAD. HE MAKES SO MUCH PAPER WHY DOESNT HE PAY ALL THE BILLS AND LET YOU HAVE FUN WITH YOUR PAPER? THATS LIFE.
2006-10-20 08:51:41 · answer #10 · answered by GrownNSexy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋