my husband and I have decided to explore this side of us, do you think its a good idea or bad idea... we are both okay with pretty much everything except for going behind each others backs and fooling around...
2006-10-20 08:31:48 · 27 answers · asked by beautifullybroken 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we almost split up before because he wasnt satisfied with his life, and I had suppressed my sexuality, because I grew up with two people who discouraged any type of sexual behavior, Do you think this will spice up our married life, because we have no problems aside from theres no fun in our lives...Do you think it could cause more harm than good? Or would be a good way for us to grow more close... We dont have a bad sex life just want to experience those things we never got to do because our first few years of marriage were spent trying to get me out of this protective layer I had...
2006-10-20 08:37:09 · update #1
we have also agreed to seperate our outer lives from our lives at home.. thanks for bringing that up... on his days off we want to have our fun the rest of the time Im a housewife etc...I honestly dont think its bad as long as you both agree on things and like I said dont be decietful about things...
2006-10-20 08:42:29 · update #2
The key is what you said, nothing secret. Cheating by definition is doing something in secret away from your partner. Sex is just another thing married couples do. Why is it any different from snow skiing or boating or bowling? It is just an activity. Agree to some rules, follow through and be willing to quit if things aren't working out for the BOTH of you.
2006-10-20 08:40:38 · answer #1 · answered by javelin 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are so many more ways to spice up your sex life than bringing in more people. If you start this what if one of you gets jealous and who's idea was it anyway? I would think that it is a bad idea myself, I would get some movies, toys ect to see if that does the trick. I guess if both of you are OK with it and the other people that would be involved know what is going on and they are ok with it, then do it but just make sure you let everyone in on what is going on so that no one gets hurt over your experiment!
2006-10-20 16:09:52 · answer #2 · answered by DC 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't recommend you getting others involved. That sounds fun, and as a married woman I had such thoughts for a split second. However, you WILL get a more gratifying feel out of stabilizing your marriage by working together to create a happy home and building that connection through firm foundations. I think having an 'open' relationship may drain you two out and you will realize it was never necessary in the first place.
2006-10-20 15:37:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are setting yourself up for possible disaster and as much as you think you have it all figured out I am here to tell you there are a multitude of things that may unexpectedly pop up.
One is the simple phrase- Fooled around and fell in love. and then what happens?
I suggest if you MUST do all this, join a swingers group of married couples in which you and your spouse start together and end together and there is not a lot of distance between you.
Please think deep and hard before exporing the erotic dark side
before you take the plundge
2006-10-20 15:41:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think for the most part marrige is a sacrid thing and most things should be kept between the two but i think if both is ok with the whole 3 some thing in order to spice things up is great like 2 chics 1 guy or 2 guys on one chic or couple swapping is good to me as long as it was a just sex bases but id be afaid on would become emotional for someone else
2006-10-20 15:40:11 · answer #5 · answered by cute redhead 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in order for it to work, both of you have to want it 100%. my husband and i are both open with other people, but we always do it as a couple. we have been doing this for about 10 yrs and it's never been a problem. as long as neither of you are jealous and you both can communicate with each other and never ever do anything you are not comfortable with, it shouldn't be a problem. most people are so closed minded that they just don't get it. just make sure you use protection and find another like minded couple and everything should be good to go
2006-10-20 17:05:22 · answer #6 · answered by mj_jll 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, with both of you out there finding other partners your chances of finding an STD are better than ever. Imagine the joy of sharing herpes someday. Of course you are always safe you say and yet the day will come when you experience that first oozing symptom. You will feel closer than ever as you rub cream on each others sores. And you find find other partners with the same condition or perhaps infect other unsuspecting idiots out having a good time. Good luck!
2006-10-20 15:50:04 · answer #7 · answered by Mark S 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It all depends on who's involved and if you're capable of being 100% honest with each other. If you're able to do that, you'll find that being able to have other loveships, and experiencing that wonderful thing called 'compersion' can be *extremely* liberating. If you're careful, sexually, you're at no more risk than most college kids tramping around these days, so ignore the heresay about those in open relationships being virulent carriers of every STD known to man. I'm in a polyamorous relationship and my primary lover fools around less than some of my previous (supposedly monogamous) partners. We're both in good health (well I need to exercise more, haha) and don't feel the love we have for each other has ever diminished because of our ability to care for other people.
For all you narrow minded dimwits out there--chew on this:
Think about a parent who has more than one child. Is their love for their first child dimished, the sanctity of their bond lessened, by the existence of the following children? Hell no! Love isn't a limited resource, like oil or change in the pocket. It's an ever-flowing well. Humans are capable of so many wonderful things, and they chose to quash it in leui of stringent diminishing, confining, and boxing of one's potential.
Criminy.
2006-10-20 15:36:03 · answer #8 · answered by Leena Rosen 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As long as you are open I think it is a fine idea- if it is a good idea to you guys. My friend and her hubby are swingers but they set up ground rules. For example: 1. All IM's must be saved so the other can see. 2. Be honest about who, what, when ,where, how 3. If the other has a problem with one of your 'playmates' you have to break it off- NO QUESTIONS ASKED!!
2006-10-20 15:35:40 · answer #9 · answered by baby_girl_8881 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As long as you both agree........Enjoy!
Ya know. I have to recant. I went back and read your blog. I have just looked at your added comments. This sounds like he wants to play and you are not sure. If you are doing this in an attempt to "keep" him. I say he is not worth the effort. It appears that he is not respectful of your feelings.
It is true that at time loves hurts, but it should not stop you from living your life. There are soooo many things you can do with each other sexually without involving third parties. Rethink and reconsider before opening your marriage to outside influences. In your case, I fear that nothing but bad can come of it...........
2006-10-20 15:34:52 · answer #10 · answered by tallerfella 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋