I am a 31-yr-old /w no children who has been /w my boyfriend for 7yrs+ now. We have lived together for 5 of those years, but still not married. I have asked him repeatedly but do not get a response until I threaten to leave. At this point, he says " I do want to marry you and only you". Then, he precedes to mention the infidelity from some 4 yrs ago. In 2003, we were going to go our separate ways at that juncture. After the fact, he bought a home and asked me live /w him again. I admit that have made some bad decisions in regards to the relationship in the past. But, I am trying to do right by him in the present and future. I become so discouraged at times and dont see the point in being faithful if he is not going to marry me. I am confused on whether he is hiding behind that to not be married or is he truly hurt and will eventually come around by burying the past and marry me?
2006-10-20 08:29:11 · 6 answers · asked by icon2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he is power-playing you with the cheating. If he really was upset about that cheating, he would have left you. He's still there, which means he cares, but I have no idea why he wouldn't marry you. Maybe he's afraid of commitment? Maybe he is scared you will cheat on him again... I don't think badgering him about the marriage issue is going to be a good thing.. more than anything it just annoys guys and makes them want to leave. Let him do things in his own time, and if that time doesn't co-exist with your plan, then maybe someone out there is better for you. Good LUCK !!
2006-10-20 08:37:02 · answer #1 · answered by soccrian 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I go along with the other answers as to the point that if he has not yet, he might not ever.
If you are unhappy in anyway with the present situation then why do you want to get married?
The point of being faithful is one of the whole concepts behind a relationship. It is monogamy. If there wasn't that then there would be a bunch of people out there sleeping with all sorts of other people out there sleeping together.
Bottom line - if you are not happy NOW then do not keep asking to get married. You will not be happy then either. All that changes is your last name.
2006-10-20 10:03:11 · answer #2 · answered by staxi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say but if you been with him for 7 years and lived with him for 5 then he should of asked you to marry you already... It sounds to me like he doesn't know what he wants or he's not ready yet... He's just telling you things you want to hear i suggest if he really loves you and does want to marry he should do it soon other than that this is a dead end relationship that will stay just the way it is... If he doesn't do it soon that maybe its time to meet new people and actually spend your time with someone that will take this relationship to the next level and you won't just be a tag-a-long. Good luck to you
2006-10-20 08:34:11 · answer #3 · answered by ~*Megan N MaRc~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister & her boyfriend were together for 11 years before they got married. He was just afraid of change/commitment. But once she started insisting, they finally got married.
You should start throwing heavy hints first. Go to the mall, pass by the jewerly store and say "lets go look at engagement rings" and do it. Let it slowly sink in first, then let him know your serious.
2006-10-20 11:45:29 · answer #4 · answered by Snow White's Mother 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will come around the question just give jim a little bit more time. If not dump him or stay if you want it's your choice nobody can make that choice for you he may not be hiding and wants to wait on a date or holiday.
2006-10-20 08:35:02 · answer #5 · answered by Kyla B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hasn't "come around" by now, it is unlikely he will. I'm afraid you're wasting your time with this guy. If I were you, I would seriously re-consider this relationship; if marriage is what you want - you will have to move on and keep on looking. Sounds to me like he's getting what he wanted, and is not willing to commit further. Explore other options.
2006-10-20 08:37:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋