Do you think that my marriage is over? Back in March I had a hysterectomy done. When the doctor said thet we could have sex again it was great. But the last cuple of months we hardly have sex at all and when we do it is short and I don't thank he finishes. Six months ago he started a new job and he tells me that it isn't me that he is just tired. His last job he worked from 9 to 5 and sat all day. Now he works from 2am to 12pm and it is a physical job. What you do you think???
2006-10-20 08:24:03 · 7 answers · asked by greentigereyeddragon 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do I think your marriage is ending? NO. Do you need to talk with your husband about all of this? YES.
It sounds like you have had some major stressors in your marriage, between your health and your husbands new job. These things are bound to have emotional and physical effects on you both.
Your husband probably is tired, and may be stressed from his new work. He might also, in the back of his mind, be concerned about your well being. While not quite the same, my husband was very timid about intimacy after I become pregnant for fear of hurting me or the baby and he didn't tell me why...At first I felt really rejected until we talked about it, and I was able to tell him I was going to be just fine and the baby would not be hurt.
Don't give up on your marriage. Talk to your husband and find out what's going on. Explain your feelings. Take some time to be together. If that doesnt work, seek therapy for counseling.
I knew a couple who went through a similar ordeal. It took them some time, but they pinpointed what was going on (the husband was working 80 hour weeks) and found ways to bring the passion back to their marriage.
2006-10-20 08:29:56 · answer #1 · answered by Sativa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a bad sign, but I think over is a bit too far. You guys have some serious issues that you need to work out. He may feel partly responsible for your operation, or afraid he will hurt you. He may just be confused by it all. You need to sit down and talk with him. A guy's "finishing" is as much mental as it is physical. If he is not, then something is going on. It could be work, but not for this long. He could be worried about you, or he could be cheating. There could also be a million other things going on. Talk to him, tell him your fears, and hopefully get some family counseling. If he will not do that, encourage him to get some himself just so he can get some of his fears out in the open. He might just need someone he can talk to that he does not have to feel "strong" around. Good luck.
2006-10-20 08:33:11 · answer #2 · answered by Craig B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is tired. Working from 2am -noon means he sleeps during the daytime and that can be tough to do. Now that he has a physical job he may be even more tired. If you want sex then you should initiate it let him lay there and you do the work. Once you get going he will probably get into it.
2006-10-20 08:31:23 · answer #3 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It dosen't mean that. When you are tired and stressed out it happens. I'm a female and it has happened to me before. You are just too tired to think of anything. Normaly everybody thinks the worse. But talk to him communication is number 1
2006-10-20 08:43:18 · answer #4 · answered by yo_010180 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you have other reasons to believe your marriage is "over" - you are over-reacting. Your husband's new work schedule sounds pretty demanding, no wonder he's tired. Your suspiscions *may* be based on reality - I don't know; nothing you listed here is in itself unusual or abnormal.
2006-10-20 08:31:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know from experience with a work change a especially a schedual like he has it would be hard to "perform." your marriage isnt over just because you dont have sex right this minute he just needs some time to let his body adjust to this new schedual he has things will turn out just give it time...
2006-10-20 08:29:00 · answer #6 · answered by miss bitch 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just dog tired. I would be too. He still loves your goodies....
2006-10-20 08:31:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋