My daughter will be 11 in December and I know she is entering into the first signs of puberty. She acts sensitive and cries easily, is quite moody, and occasionally talks back. She's not always like this but how do I handle it when she is. I try to be patient and more loving with her but sometimes she just pushes me away and runs to her room and slams the door. Other times she'll give in and let me hug and comfort her.
Any advice will be helpful. Thanks.
2006-10-20 08:23:43 · 31 answers · asked by love2bake&eat 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
My Little Sister is 12 and going through the same thing. It's a hard age... on the one hand, you're still a little girl and on the other, you're on the brink of being a young woman. And your hormones are going crazy to boot. It could just be mood swings due to puberty/hormones. When she's in the mood to allow you to comfort her, make sure you talk to her and reassure her that if there's anything she's upset about she can come to you with it. If there's something bigger going on, she's going to need to feel really secure to broach it with you. If it's just the puberty thing, then you have to figure out how to deal with the bad moods. My Little Sister's mom basically said, "You can be in whatever mood you need to be in. Your feelings are yours. But in this house, we respect each other, so you won't talk back or slam doors or otherwise be disrespectful or you'll lose privileges." She's lost a lot of phone privileges, video game time, tv time, etc... but she's figuring out that if she's less mouthy she'll have more fun stuff to do.
2006-10-20 08:31:38 · answer #1 · answered by mockingbird 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is all part of being a girl. Just be there for her when she lets you and let her know that when she doesn't want you there you will be if she asks.
Becoming a woman is hard and confusing time. It is hard to be a mother, know what she is going through, and know that you can't always help her. But remember when you started your own and how you felt. Maybe this is a good time to talk, not only about the changes, but how you felt when you went through it too.
Now my mom was the mom that never said anything. I woke up one morning went to the bathroom and had blood. I thought I needed to go to the hospital, I was afraid and embarrassed to go to my mom and tell her. But I went in and told her I was bleeding and needed to go to the hospital. When she asked where I was bleeding and I told her, she laughed, handed me a pad and told me welcome to womanhood. I still didn't understand what was happening or anything. I was lost because I didn't get the guidince I needed. I was lucky my sister found out a couple days later and talked to my about it. I didn't learn about anything because my mom wanted to shelter it from me, instead I ended up lost and in a lot of wrong situations.
Please talk with her and be there for her when she lets you, it will hurt when she doesn't want you there, but that is because she is a girl and thinks that it could not or ever happened to anyone else, and cherish the times when she lets you in.
2006-10-20 08:38:05 · answer #2 · answered by The Invisible Woman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy do I feel your pain, my oldest son is almost 11 and he has been doing the same things lately. It's making me crazy- he is moody, mouthy, sensitive. We try not to tease him because he can't seem to take a joke lately. I try to catch him when he is calm and just remind him that I love him and he is a really good kid. I told him the other day that he needs to work on his attitude and I realize he needs some space and some time to himself but he still has to be respectful of everyone else even when he doesn't feel like it- he wouldn't like it if we were nasty to him and avoided him all the time. He really has been much better the last few days. I think the trick is to talk to them when they are in a calm relaxed mood, once they are feeling icky it's useless- they can't seem to gain control of their emotions enough to calm down and listen. It's just the beginning so good luck. Remember, no matter how much she pushes you away stay involved in her life and let her know you love her no matter what.
2006-10-20 08:34:54 · answer #3 · answered by therealprinsess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you're the mom. You're the boss. You don't have enough information for someone to say whether or not or how to calm the situation. Sorry. And, you said she is sensitive, many girls are sensitive at that age, I know I was. Talk to her when she isn't going through an attack like that. Talking helps the relationship too. Talk and ask her why she does this, and if she rebels talk at a later time.
2006-10-20 10:46:11 · answer #4 · answered by Karina B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok hope ur sitting down so take this from a teen that went through the exact sorry if i spelt it wrong thing i mean these are signs of getting her period between now and 1 year she is at that sensitve stage she is just finding out who she is and is seeing the new things that are happening to her body unfortunatley this could last 1-2 years till she get to know her body and learn how her body reacts maybe u should take her out on a mother daughter lunch shopping day on a saturday it always makes me feel better good luck just remember be patient
2006-10-20 13:00:52 · answer #5 · answered by sweetness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with lisa_s "
Just keep doing what you're doing...... if she pushes you away, give her some space, and cherish the times she wants a hug.
There isn't much more to do, just let her know that you are and will always be there for her, when she feels like talking."
Just want to add...
There may be something else going on that she doesn't know how to deal with. Just make sure she knows you are available to her no matter what the situation. That's really all we can do. Seems like the more we force our kids to turn to us the more they end up avoiding us.
2006-10-20 08:34:20 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been going through this for almost 1 1/2 years. It's hard to see them struggle, because you know (from being in their shoes) what they are going through. My daughter and I have a "date" night once a month so that her and I can talk about whatever is going on in that little mind of hers without having her stepfather / brother around. She loves it and sometimes she talks and sometimes she just listens. It's a great experience for the both of us and she seems to enjoy it so much. It helps her to know that I know what she is going through, although sometimes she thinks I am just plain mad for even thinking I understand. Just remember to tell her that you love her, explain to her that you have "been down that road to"...and let her know that she can and should come to you with ANY problem / question...etc!
Good luck! It will get easier.
2006-10-20 08:30:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My best answer is that she's probably just growing up,or that she's just one of the people that get all moody and everything, you know,like when they're about to start their period or something. My advice would be to just ask her some questions about what's going on in her life;if she's going through some tough situations or problems. Maybe you'll get some answers then.
2006-10-20 08:33:25 · answer #8 · answered by Brittany S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother just shared a story a few weeks ago with me about my niece who is 11. She was getting ready for school and he had ironed a skirt for her to wear and she insisted on wearing jeans. He insisted and when he drove her to school, she sat in the car and he asked her what the problem was. She told him that the girls in school made fun of her hairy legs. He said it made him take a good look at his little girl and realize she was growing up.
That's the time when all sorts of new things start happening with their bodies. Sounds like your little girl is having a tough time at school possibly and needs to talk to a friend.
Try to get her to open up by sharing stories about when you were a teenager in school.
Maybe even show her some pictures of when you were her age because they can't picture their parents as ever being young.
Best of luck.
2006-10-20 08:32:13 · answer #9 · answered by stocks4allseasons 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just keep doing what you're doing...... if she pushes you away, give her some space, and cherish the times she wants a hug.
There isn't much more to do, just let her know that you are and will always be there for her, when she feels like talking.
2006-10-20 08:30:22 · answer #10 · answered by lisa s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋