co-worker issues?

Question

my co-worker is a nice girl, for the most part. it's just that everytime i have a conversation with her she has to oppose whatever i say. i've never met someone like this before, it's like she craves arguements. it could be the smallest thing like where i want to eat for lunch or what exercise i like better, whatever it is she has to talk against it and say what she thinks is better even though i don't ask. can someone help me understand why people would be like this?

Answer 1

Ahh, one of those. I've delt with someone like her before. Nothing you do or say is right in her eyes, and she just knows so much more than you...or at least she likes to think so.

These types of people are bogged down by negativity, lack of self-esteem, lack of confidence, etc. that they feel like they have to control every single situation by making it look like they're right and you're wrong - for whatever reason. It makes them feel better about themselves in a weird sort of way.

I have a friend who's a know-it-all and no matter what I do or say she has a comment for EVERYTHING! I got to the point where I don't tell her anything anymore.

Is it possible to avoid her or do you work directly with her? These types of people are a lot of work to deal with and can be very draining. And be careful because their negativity can rub off.

Answer 2

First of all, why so many down on working with women comments? You get problems working with all men too. But, curiosity about gender issues aside, I think the advice to stay out of it is a good one. This isn't something you can fix. There are more issues here than general bitchiness, not speaking English, and being loud. I suspect the old-school woman is a little narrow-minded in her outlook. If it weren't the language, she'd find something else to dislike about your other co-worker. I also suspect Loud Girl knows she's getting under Old School's skin, and doesn't like her either. It doesn't matter where the other girl sits. I'm sure Old School will have no problem making comments from clear across the office, and Loud Girl, is, well, loud. You'll just be sitting in the crossfire. Your boss is a coward. She needs to be the one dealing with this. All you can do is, when they come to you, is just bluntly say, "I'm staying out of this." If you're feeling assertive, tell them to go to the boss if they want to complain. Yeah, it might sound rude, but they aren't exactly being polite. It will cut the drama, because I doubt they'll come back to you with their complaints. Are there any other people in your office? How do they feel about this mess? Is it interfering with their work too? You could all band together and confront the two, or go to the boss as a group.

Answer 3

The girl of whom you referenced is probably dealing with a lot of internal personal issues. Her dedication to basically, tearing you down, may be an attempt at building herself up. She sounds very insecure. I'm not insinuating that she's a bad person... she may be very nice otherwise. She might just be jealous of something you have (which could be simply... self-esteem). Ask her (politely) why her opinion is what it is... and try including her more into what you and some of the other girls at work might do together. She might eventually turn out to be a good friend. If this doesn't work... chalk it up to accepting her the way she is and go on with your life.

Answer 4

Honey, trust me, you are not the first person to deal with that. I dealt with it every single day when I was in grade 10 last year. My former friend would always go against my thoughts, or any simple conversations. She always had to be right, or always had to argue about everything. It drove me nuts! These type of people do this because they are trying to develop theories about everything, or they are insecure. They want to make others feel bad so that they can feel good about themselves. Don't worry too much about it, in fact, try your best to stay away from her. Have little communication with her.

Answer 5

I've had this experience with people before, so I know it can be really frustrating.

Test your theory by asking for her opinion on something before you give your own. If she just has opposing views, then maybe she isn't trying to be argumentative all the time. If she only disagrees when you offer your views first, then it seems like she is trying to belittle you and that's not cool.

Answer 6

LOL I got the same co-worker I usually just smile nod my head and keep on going same thing nice girl and all but very opinionated !!

Answer 7

Either she feels intimidated or jealous of you, and feels that you are more interesting. Or...she feels that she is a know it all and feels you really don't know what you are talking about. Then again some people are just like that, it doesn't matter who she is around. They are always going to have the opposite opinion no matter what. Just ignore them.

Answer 8

I don't know if I can help you understand it, but I do know that you should definitely avoid confrontation. You don't want to make things more complicated in the work place. Just try to keep any discussion with her work related, and avoid arguments so that you can do the best job that you possibly can.

Answer 9

She's just playing a cheap little ego trick to make her feel like she's superior and smarter than you are.

There's nothing you can do about her except smile and nod your head. Then ask her what she recommends or likes, and why? Beat her to the punch.

Answer 10

She is a very controlling person and has to be in control of every situation. My mother is like that and I have dealt with it for 24 years and there is no answer.

Just tell her that you respect her opinion, but that is what it is, her opinion.

Or just don't talk to her anymore, that's how I solved my problem.