Anyone have ideas of what you can do to make yourself feel like less of a shmuck when you've been rejected? There's a guy I have known for about 2 months and we seemed to really hit it off. I thought I was getting alot of signals from him that he was interested, so today I decided to go for it and tell him how I felt. Big mistake. Not only is he not interested, but he's actually involved with someone else. I honestly had no idea, because he has NEVER said a word about her and I could swear he told me early on that he wasn't seeing anyone. Anyway, needless to say, I feel like a big fat idiot. I need to get over it fast, because I'm still going to have to be around this guy all the time and I don't want to be wierd or look like a loser. Can anyone help?
2006-10-20 08:14:28 · 12 answers · asked by NewGirl 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Never feel foolish for expressing your true feelings. The worst thing about this situation is that the guy you have feelings for just got a once-in-a-lifetime compliment from you. Don't feel bad about that. I've been on both sides and if anything, this guy was deeply touched by your sentiments. Who knows, maybe he'll dump this gal he's with and go for you in a couple weeks or months.
In the meantime, there's no better way to cure the sting of rejection than getting back on the horse. Believe it or not, you do still have your dignity. Just be your friendly self and roll with the punches. You are not a loser but a beautiful person who is not afraid to take chances, which is an admirable characteristic.
Chin up now!
2006-10-20 08:21:43 · answer #1 · answered by Big Blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Newgirl !
hey - don't get down on yourself kiddo! Your not a shmuck, not an idiot, not wierd and NOT a LOSER either!!
You're just like the rest of us that live by our hearts and you took a chance with some jerk off that -ya, probly went out of his way to "not" mention the girlfriend cuz he really enjoys it when someone like you pays his ego attention.
I 've lost count how many times I felt ashamed at other mens behaviour, but we aren't all pigs Newgirl, and that only way you can get past this speed bump in life is to accept that you have done nothing wrong !
He knew you had an interest in him I'm sure of it, and he could have spared you, but he's the loser! So don't go given him any saticfaction !
Make like the guy doesn't matter he draws air when you're in the same room at work, and get yourself a male friend to hang with until you find a good guy to call your own !
We've all been here my dear... you will get past it too :) Davey.
2006-10-20 08:39:20 · answer #2 · answered by Davey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two things to do. One is to sit down and cry for being such an "idiot".
Secondly, ask yourself, can you actually be "rejected"....? Or does it just feel like this to you?
It is ones ego that experiences the rejection, and this is ones MIND, and it feels this way because of illusions it holds regarding oneself.
Life is a game, and many of our attempts are rejected... and it is important for us to not take this personally. We either have Karma with someone, or we do not. Nothing personal in this, its just ones Fate Karma. Do not allow yourself to become overly attached to someone emotionally.... certainly not until after many moons have gone by.
You mistake your value, I believe. It was not you that was rejected, but the offering you made, which must be kept impersonal. Hard to do perhaps, but consider what just happened as a lesson, and so take the lesson to heart, and keep your heart within and put only your words out. Cool and collected.
Peace
2006-10-20 08:32:32 · answer #3 · answered by docjp 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh no! Still... good on you for having the guts to go for what u want! Most people spend a lifetime regretting what they DIDNT do. You misinterpreted the signs. You'll know what to look for in the future. U and this guy jus werent meant to be and when u meet the right person it'll happen naturally.
2006-10-20 10:36:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time heals all wounds. Try to stop internalizing the world's problems. Next time ask if the guy is involved with someone else, and don't frighten guys with expression of your feelings too soon.
2006-10-20 10:28:22 · answer #5 · answered by Clown Knows 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aw - you put your heart on the line & it was crushed - that's OK - applaud yourself for being honest and following your gut - don't let it get you down - keep your head high, always smile around him, look good, act positive, but don't show him too much attention - it's not the end of the world - guys get rejected all the time - imagine how they must feel.
2006-10-20 08:52:57 · answer #6 · answered by livetall1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh gees..i have been through this one a few times...once in college, i LOVED this guy, he was a good friend also, when i approached him and told him how i felt, all i got was " gee, thanks", but he didnt say it sarcastically...
i had to see him everyday at school and everyday at work...i had to kind of swallow my pride and just go on...i didnt really act like it didnt happen because you cant really unless you have a time machine and can go back in time and change it all...
all i can say is, go about your daily life...if he isnt acting differently towards you, then you should do the same, even if you feel dumb...hang in there
2006-10-20 08:19:23 · answer #7 · answered by sherichance79 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TRUST ME it's nothing. Pretend it never happened and seriously if you don't care he won't care. Don't be mean to him either that shows your being immature. If you keep your cool and respect him and his girlfriend you can get past this in a second. Hey, your only human and you didn't know he was involved. It's nothing.
2006-10-20 08:24:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/dealing-with-rejection-faq.htm
2006-10-20 08:22:42 · answer #9 · answered by bigguy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't worry about it , it's not your fault he should have told you he's seeing someone & not been such a player, just make sure the next time you happen to like a guy be sure he's not involved, ask him & his friends ( in case he lies)
2006-10-20 08:24:20 · answer #10 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋