I'm only attracted to one guy and he's only been that one guy i'm attracted to, but i'm attracted to women and only women, so now i'm confused about this, I kind of can't consider myself bisexual cause it's only 1 guy, and i've seen guys that look similar to the guy i'm attracted to, but i'm not attracted to them, plus I didn't want to be a lesbian, because I wanted to have kids, not adopted, he, I don't think would except me being attracted to women, oh and he's not attracted to women or men and never have been, except for me lol, i'm so damn confused help???
2006-10-20 07:02:33 · 9 answers · asked by she_creature101 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Well this guy is my fiance, i've been with him for 3 years and i've been denying myself that i'm attracted to women until now, because I wanted to have kids with the one I love, it just didn't fit into my plan of "meant to be" so I could have kids with him, I love him, it's just why would I be attracted to this one guy when there's millions of guys in the world and only him i'm attracted to, damn't this is confusing especially his situation.
2006-10-20 07:29:07 · update #1
Tell him he is the only guy that you are attracted to. Leave it at that. If you have an interest in anyone, male or female, after you marry, you will need to stiffle it the same, won't you? The monogamy of marriage is often described at the wedding vows with something along the lines of, "and keep from all others."
If a girl turns your head, she might also turn his, so simply turn the matter and say, "I'm glad you want me instead of her, but I can see how you might be interested in her." Leave the rest unsaid, how you see the potential interest in her because you are interested in her.
Just because something is true does not mean that something needs to be said. You will overlook a lot of things in your husband, as he will with you, and it often doesn't help to detail everything in explicit detail. He will find comfort in knowing that other men don't interest you. He will find it normal that you notice the pretty dress or features or voice or hair, etc. of another woman, but you don't have to feed all the other lurid details of how you feel beyond that. This isn't dishonesty. Remember the expression TMI, Too Much Information. There are practicalities and they are right. If he kisses you and his breath is awful, there are times to say so and times to simply cope. On the fullness of your desires, simply cope. Trust me, there will be moments when his desires extend beyond just you, and he will simply cope--and you can trust him on that.
2006-10-20 08:05:36 · answer #1 · answered by Rabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have always said it's not about what's inbetween the legs. It sounds like you do have a genuine love for him and that in itself shouldn't be confusing. If you are attracted to women in general then you are just with this person to try and be accepted by society. You have to tell people you are legitimate and if they don't accept that then they don't. You come across as someone who doesn't know who she is and that is sad. I am not saying everybody is perfect but come on and get ahold of yourself. You cannot walk through a wall that is in front of you. Just stand there and do what you think everybody else wants you to do and you will always be standing in front of it.
2006-10-20 21:34:33 · answer #2 · answered by Namaste 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are human. Labels are only there to help us communicate with each other.
There is no problem with the fact that you are attracted to this guy. Very few humans are 100% heterosexual or homosexual.
Just make sure that you aren't reacting out of an internalized homophobia or the 'ideal life' that we are fed, as little girls, from birth.
2006-10-20 07:20:20 · answer #3 · answered by knightofsappho 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry him and get him to Xdress
I keed I keed.
You can be a lesbian and have biological children you just need a sperm donor.
Your situation is different. That bit about him not being attracted to women or men has me completely confused.
2006-10-20 07:08:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do both of you a favor for God's sake: Take as much time as you need to get your gender attraction issues sorted out and discuss this with him. This is the only way to be fair to him, yourself, and any children you may have together.
2006-10-21 17:53:04 · answer #5 · answered by dwmajick2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you like other women. Tell him you are curious and you want to have a tri relationship. Marry him but tell him you want agirlfriend too. Trust me if i had a wife that would do this for me i would be happy he would probably be too. Now this is the tricky part. Dont be completly intune with him. You have to make them both happy dont ignor either one because the other will get jealous. Explessialy ur husband
2006-10-20 08:24:57 · answer #6 · answered by unkown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best advice to you would be........ stop trying to label yourself, or put your desires, into neat little boxes. You seem young, and you have the rest of your life to figure it out. Relax, take a breath.
You say your attracted to this guy, go out to dinner with him see if it is mutual and see if you get along, and if you do, be honest with him, that you are attracted to females as well.
as for a lesbian having children I know about 100 with biological children who would laugh and say they have ways to handle that.
2006-10-20 07:16:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the question would be why are you attracted to him? Personally I think that love is blind to sex or race. You love someone for who they are (all of them). The question you should be asking yourself is do you want have a realtionship with this person. If you do then go for it. I only hope that he can except you for who you are.
2006-10-20 07:09:07 · answer #8 · answered by dogma06281 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe
2006-10-20 07:39:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋