Okay, my boyfriend's mother is very over bearing. She wants call my boyfriend out of work tonight, because his sister got married today at the justice of peace and they are having dinner tonight. He told them he had work tonight, but they insist on calling him out telling his supervisor that it's a family emergency. My boyfriend is really unsure about what to do, he doesn't want to disappoint his family but can't afford to get into trouble at work/maybe get fired, or points on his record. He really wants me to make the decision for him, but I tend to stay out of it, and tell him that he needs to do what's best for him and his job.
They don't seem to understand that he told them he had to work, and they know he works nights, so I'm so put in the middle. They want to me rally with them to get him out of work and I just can't.
What would you suggest? Should I take a stand and tell him to go to work?
2006-10-20 07:00:05 · 22 answers · asked by Amber M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
His sister got married i would want my brother there.you let him deal with his family and stay out of it you are in the middle because you choose to be,let him do his own dirty work and to stop telling you to do it and he should tell work his sister is or got married and i want to be there for her ...you do not need to take a stand he is responsible for what he does...sureilll
2006-10-20 07:09:44 · answer #1 · answered by COOKIE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to hurt herfeelings, but his family obviously don't care about his. He really cares about his job and he doesn't need to get in trouble if it possibly can get him fired. I think that he is truly happy for his sister's marriage and would attend the dinner if he could afford to, but there are many jobs like his that your attendance is of strong importance. She should just go ahead and have the dinner without him, he can send his best wishes, and life moves on. I could see if she had a big out of this world wedding and he missed it, but a dinner party, that's not the same. There will always be parties, all he has to really do is make it to the next big dinner, like thanksgiving and he can make up for it. He could also get his sister a nice gift to make up for it, but if they can't be understanding of his life, then they don't deserve an explanation. Honestly a wedding is highly important, but it' s not a family emergency. Relative being in the hospital, that's an emergency. Don't mean to offend, but really it isn't and he shouldn't feel bad if he doesn't make it to the dinner.
2006-10-20 07:14:05 · answer #2 · answered by pumpk713 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I comprehend it's a problematic main issue, considering the fact that he cannot opt for among his female friend and his mom, although she appears to be looking to drive him to. Continue to be supportive, even even as she's hanging you down. This will take a few strain off your boyfriend and exhibit that you're the mature one. Instead of lashing out at her, subsequent time she says some thing bad, say again, "I admire your opinion, however I do not trust you." and go away it at that. If it is approximately some thing you are doing, then say, "Is there something I can do larger?" If she does now not deliver a possible reaction (similar to, I'd decide upon that you just positioned mustard in this rather of mayonnaise) then if she bitches once more, remind her that you just already requested the way to upgrade. If that is rather inflicting issues for your dating, speak for your boyfriend. Make definite he is aware that you just love him, and do not desire to return in among him and his mom, however that he demands to rise up for you if he needs your dating to development. If he's not able to take action, and it sort of feels as though your dating isn't going anyplace, it probably larger to simply stay peers.
2016-09-01 00:03:01 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should take a stand. Tell him to stand up for himself! He can`t let his family decide for the rest of his life. If he can`t make it because of work obligations, well that`s that. Whats better, Going to a supper that he could easily make up for or possibly have a bad record and lose his job. Besides it sounds like the whole supper deal was organized at the last minute. They have to expect that last minute arrangements don`t always work out. He could call them and wish them the best and make up for supper another time.
2006-10-20 07:06:37 · answer #4 · answered by Dragonfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, usually I'd say yeah stand up and tell them he has to work. But his sister just got married so I think he should try to make it to dinner. I do agree they shouldn't be calling his supervisor. But his sister getting married is a big deal,i can't imagine his employer won't allow him the night off IMHO.
2006-10-20 07:04:11 · answer #5 · answered by sillypw29 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STAY OUT OF IT!! That is my best advice for you. Make him make the decision. He he doesn't go and blames you, they are going to blame you for him not being there. Let him take the heat for his own decision. But I agree with you they should have made better arrangements. If they just got married, maybe they should have planned ahead and he could have asked for the day off, but since they didn't they are just sol!
2006-10-20 11:48:38 · answer #6 · answered by fin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like Mom and family need to respect him. You should defniatly stay out of it. He needs to stand up to his family and try to take a finaly stand so this won't happen again. It may piss them off but oh well, to bad so sad. They will get over it. Sometimes the best way to handle over-bearing family is to move to another state!
2006-10-20 07:03:30 · answer #7 · answered by bubba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is just for this night than I suggest he can go because you say his sister got married. Imagine you as a mother and your daughter got married and won't you want your son to come for a dinner afterwards because its a family get together. Tell him to go because its his sister's wedding day and his sister will feel disappointed.
But them calling his superviser is 100% unaccepted. He should tell his mother that she should ask him before doing that.
For now, since he told you to decide, tell him to go and it will be good for you also because they will think good of you.
If you had a sister and it was her wedding night then you would want to go. Let him go.
2006-10-20 07:07:51 · answer #8 · answered by Mr Business 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you stay out of the drama. Your boyfriend should be making decisions about his family and it's unfair to ask you to do it for him. If he feels that in this case, work takes priority, his family will have to accept it. Again, I applaud you for staying neutral and encourage you to solve his own dilemnas. You can only give your opinion - the rest is up to him. Good luck!
2006-10-20 07:06:05 · answer #9 · answered by Jemma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it. One day he might actually grow up and make his own decisions without mommy or his girlfriend!
How did you get in the middle? I mean- what does his sister's marriage and his mother's request and his job have to do with you? Let him take his own stand.
2006-10-20 07:05:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋