My boyfriend and I have recently moved from illinios to california. he has warrants in illinois and cannot go back there without facing alot of time in prison. illinois however will not extradite him back to illinois and hes working a great job at an electric company. i just found out i am carrying his baby and we have been together for only one year but we do love each other very much. my family wants me to go back to illinois to have the baby and support me. and i feel bad for leaving my boyfriend. he also is willing to be a responsible dad and support me. i feel so confused and worried that there's no right decision that i can make. please help me. if you were in my shoes were would you live. back in illinois were your family is and where you grew up or in california where you and your boyfriend could live a life together?
2006-10-20 06:57:01 · 22 answers · asked by mbme_3 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I would stay with the father of my baby! No question.
There comes a time when you have to be independant from your family, and have a life beyond that. It's good that they are supportive of you and that alone should give you the motivation to be the same for your child.
2006-10-20 07:01:30 · answer #1 · answered by DeltaQueen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get your priorities in order. Your pregnant - your life, and his life are no longer in first place - that child is. What decision will provide a better upbringing for that baby?? I think the answer is rather obvious. I know you love him, and trust him, and believe in him. BUT, if he's running from his problems, he will do this his entire life. Are you willing to live on the run your whole life? How about your child - how will you feel when your child finds out Daddy should be in jail? A parents responsibility is to teach their child/children how to be a responsible adult - do you think that's possible if you condone what your boyfriend is doing? I'm not saying you should turn him in, or anything of the sort - if he wants to live his life on the run, let him. But you, you have a child in your body that is relying on YOU to give it a good, healthy start in life. Go home, let your parents help you for now - concentrate on getting a good job, or continuing your education in order to get a good job - so that you can provide for your child. Someone will come along - IN TIME - that will love you AND that child. I know this will be hard, but you have to think of that baby first. Good luck. And don't listen to anyone who says things like "don't rely on mommy and daddy" or "stay with him, you made your bed..." - DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR THAT BABY! Go home - you are blessed to have parents who are willing to help you!
2006-10-20 07:08:37 · answer #2 · answered by Kristen G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a hard decision, but it depends on what is going to be best for your unborn child. If your guy treats you really good and is willing to take care of his child, then it's worth giving him a try. I know you probably do get home sick though, but if everything is financially and emotionally working out for you, then stay with him because you love him. Your child needs a father, but if it's a possibility that things might get worst because of his warrants, then you need to know now before it's too late. Just explain your feelings to your family. Let them know you heavily appreciate the gratitude and ask will the welcome always be extended to you in case you and your baby will need to go back home. It's one of those situations where you have to do what's right for you and the child, think of that way. The child is the most important factor in your situation.
2006-10-20 07:04:33 · answer #3 · answered by pumpk713 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Daddy thats not nice..... That is really hard... I would Go back home because you need the family support.. but I feel that once you and your baby can get on your feet, you need to be with ur bf because your baby needs a dad. This is only if you feel that this is right.. If you feel like you still need to be with your family for a while and not move out, that is totally understandable...Your a strong woman and you will make the right choice that is best for you... good luck and congrats
2006-10-20 07:03:19 · answer #4 · answered by qutiepy9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to ponder this??? Your baby's father could do time in PRISON. Is that the kind of father/life you really want for your child? Go and be with your family in Illinois. Besides, the cost of living is much cheaper there than in California. Good Luck!
2006-10-20 07:00:28 · answer #5 · answered by Mom of One in Wisconsin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you say you love each other and you have already made the move to CA. Are you sure that ILLinois can't have him arrested in CA?
Keep in mind that in order for him to be out of jail, he won't beable to return to IL., but you'll just have to go home and visit alone with the baby.
IF he's good to you and your sure he'll make a good father to the baby, then at least give him that chance. Your family seem to have open arms for you, so if it doesn't work, you can always go home.
2006-10-20 07:03:33 · answer #6 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd drop a man with warrants out for his arrest. Doesn't seem like a great father figure to my child.
You say he is willing to be a responsible dad and support you. But how responsible can a person be who doesn't take responsibility for his own actions and runs from a criminal past? What's to say he doesn't just commit more crimes and eventually need to run from California as well?
A child needs a stable environment and your parents are probably more likely to help provide that.
2006-10-20 07:01:35 · answer #7 · answered by misskate12001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you know he is running from the law and you are helping to conceal that I would think that would be a problem for you. Are you helping a felon hide? And now you want to bring a child into the mess. Go back home, have your baby and give it to a family that can offer some stability. And in the future don't make the same mistakes.
2006-10-20 07:01:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all what are the warrents for and how can you be sure he won't do the same things in california???????
I think I would take the safe and secure road and go back to Illinois to your family. Someday that will all catch up with him and than where will you and your child be.
2006-10-20 07:09:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a criminal.
You're not married, so he can technically leave you any time.
I'd say if you are planning on having this child, go back home to Illinois. He is still responsible for child support.
Do you want your child to grow up knowing that his dad is a fugitive?
If you stay with him, that makes you guilty of harboring a fugitive. That also is against the law.
2006-10-20 07:01:26 · answer #10 · answered by errant_hero 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋