how do I help him?

Question

My boyfriends best friend died last Friday and now he is really depressed I dont know how else to help him is there ne thing I can do?

Answer 1

Only thing you can do is be there for him. You may need to give him space right now while he grieves. Try to read the signals, if he wants you then be there for him...if he needs space, let him have it. All you can do is be supportive - nothing else will help.

Maybe this will help you (Stages of Grief):
Five Stages Of Grief
Denial and Isolation.
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.
Anger.
The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.
Bargaining.
Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"
Depression.
The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.
Acceptance.
This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.

Also:
A lesser known definition of the stages of grief is described by Dr. Roberta Temes in the book, "Living With An Empty Chair - a guide through grief." Temes describes three particular types of behavior exhibited by those suffering from grief and loss. They are:

Numbness (mechanical functioning and social insulation)
Disorganization (intensely painful feelings of loss)
Reorganization (re-entry into a more 'normal' social life.)

Answer 2

keep yourself in his place and imagine how you would feel and what you would need.at this time he needs to be with someone he thinks can give him moral support.talk to him and tell him that death is the worst phase of life but his friend is in a better place.if his friend were alive he would not have wanted his friend to be so sad.give hima lot of hugs and kisses and make him feel loved.dont ever let him be lonely and let hhim cry if he wants to.the only way his life is going to get better is with time.its time alone that can heal him and if you love him you should be by his side helping him to struggle.he has learned the value of life right now and cherishes it.he is feeling empty,incomplete as his best friend the person whom he trusted the most is near god and not near him.he is goin through an emotionally tough time and the best way is to be supportive.start doing things that make him smile.have him visit a feel good place like an orphanage or oldage home to meet ppl who too have llost loved ones like him.make him look at the brightness of life and i am sure his wound will heal.i cant even imagine how life would be with out your best friend and tell him that i really feel for him!good luck and support him!

Answer 3

I'm so sorry to here that last year my friend killed my cousin and i was also going threw a deep depression and i think my girl felt how you are feeling now so she is going to answer this question for me to give to you. no there isn't all you can do is stay by his side and be the girl that you are.if he ask for a Lil time to be alone or go out give to him.try hard not to talk about the death and in do time he will be back to normal.so just take it one day at a time.

Answer 4

Support, support, support. Talk to him, reassure him, do affecionate little (or even big) things for him that you know will touch his heart and at least relatively cheer him up. But if he needs some time alone, at anytime, give it to him. Give him all you can, whether it be to with him or time alone for himself. Maybe you could also look up some websites for grief help? And what about his family? Are they close? Then, you could sort of organize a party with his/your close ones for extra support. Finally, the best thing you can do is give him time. Oh, actually, last thing: make sure he expresses himself, abotu his pain. If he keeps it inside, it's sure to torment him in the following years-- and for a long time... be sweet, smile, bring breakfast in bed, etc. All of these nice things, but if he needs to cry, to write it out, anything, let him be free to do it.

Well, all I can wish now is that my words have helped you, I send all of my condolences for your boyfriend and best of luck to both you... you, your bf and that friend are added in my prayers. : )

Answer 5

explain to him that his friend is in a better place and is happy. that his work hear on earth was done. now he will go and help others. tell him that his friend would not want him to be depressed and sad. then remember all the good time and don't forget them that will keep his friend close to him. sorry for your loss. but i did this with my son who lost a real good friend in a car accident at the age 16. it seamed to help and he also went to the pastor of the church and talked to him.

Answer 6

There is not a whole lot you can do when someone has lost a person that they loved. Just be there for him and let him grieve. Give him supportive words and make him feel like things will be ok. I am so sorry for his loss my prayers are with you.

Answer 7

I'm so sorry!! Men sometimes have trouble handling their emotions during something like this. Just be there for him, when he needs to talk about it, but don't try to force him.
Maybe think of some relaxing ways to spend time in this weekend. Rent some movies, cook together, just hang out.

Answer 8

just be with him. losing ones best friend is really hard and theres no one to comfort him than you. its like its you whose left for him.

just want to share that men are different from us. if we are the kind of who wants talking and crying all the day, some men arent like that. so forcing your honey to release the pain by letting it out to you might not help.

what u should do is just be beside him. dont talk to much unless he ask to. listening is the best during these times.

men wants to be alone though. if he does, undertand him.

Answer 9

say to him that you're there for him if he wants to talk and give him a big hug and kiss, but leave it at that. my friend lost a cousin and god daughter, and she didn't appreciate people going on about it. he'll be a bit funny for a while, some people take longer to recover from things like this and they deal with it in different ways.let him know your there for him but don't smother him. gd luck.

Answer 10

I have a boyfriend too and same thing happened all you can do is be with him and and try to convince him that his friend is in a better place and that you will always be their for him no matter wat just never let him do anyhting that will harm his health no worries he will be alright when all this passes just have pacience and never try to make him forgett it he might get cranky, talk about it with him he will apreciate it.