I found what may be a perfect guy... to a point.
He's kind, intelligent, refined, good-looking, comes from a backgound of nobility, and cares about humanity etc...
The only problem is that in the future, he wants to be a scholar. While this may have been a profession plausible for someone in the Victorian Age, he doesn't have the money to support himself unless he becomes a teacher... and even then it's really blue-collar wages.
I'll probably have to be the one keeping us out of blue-collar if we get married, and finances will be a huge concern for me.
Do you think I should marry him (since finances seems to be the only problem here) or should I wait to find a guy more in my... salary range?
2006-10-20 06:39:40 · 9 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ARE YOU KIDDDING! Financial issues are one of the BIGGEST problems in marriage. Finance is what sets our lifestyle. He may be ok with blue collar wages. How would the two of you live peacefully together if he is contect with blue collar and you desire more.
I was very much in love with someone I thought was my TRUE soul mate. But she was content with blue collar and I wasn't I had to make a decision to let her go. Now I've been married with kids so I really do understand how important finance is to a marriage.
Let him be who he wants to be in life and you be who you want. You will meet other men who have qualities like this man, but you also MUST be on the same financial page. It's vital to a marriage.
2006-10-20 06:48:10 · answer #1 · answered by Jerrid 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
marriage is a big step in everyone's life and its not only about financial stability.if you really love this guy and think that he can make you happy in a way no one else can then go ahead.however if you are having doubts that there can be a man better than this one than you should ask him for some time and take a break from your relationship and survey others.if you have a good job and earn enough for both than discuss this with him and ask him whether or not he is alright with the fact that you wil be earning.i think its the 21st century and their is nothing wrong with the women being the bread earner.if you really doubt your relationship then dont get married.sit with him and discuss what your future together would be like.if you like what you see then go ahead if you dont then dont.good luck
2006-10-20 13:47:43 · answer #2 · answered by s4e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to marry for money, that's fine - but don't expect the guy to be perfect. What do you have to bring to the table? Do you have a high powered job? Why does the guy have to have it all and you just expect to be dependent on him? When you meet the one - none of the above will matter; just being with him will be important. You have a long road of growing up to do - you better start now.
2006-10-20 13:42:53 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to become a grown up to be married, and that means having a job in addition to being a scholar. Coming from nobility doesn't pay the bills---does he feel he above working and expects you to support him forever?
2006-10-20 13:51:19 · answer #4 · answered by draws_with_crayons 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If money is what you love, NO don't marry him.
HOWEVER, if you really loved him you wouldn't care too much.
Blue-Collar, White-Collar only matters to the individual no one else. My father was blue-collar and I'm white-collar. Am I better than my father? I don't think so. I made more money with my first real job than he did when retired years later, but it doesn't buy my kids laughter when I tickle them.
I don't keep up with the Jones and really think its stupid to try. Life is full of a lot more important things that less and less people value.
If you need money for your self image then don't marry him. If you realize that even poor people can be happy then maybe you should.
One last bit that my father taught me. "If you want for everything then even the richest man is poor. If you want for nothing than even the poorest man is rich. The secret is to know the difference between wants and needs." Thanks to my father I'm rich in more than one way.
2006-10-20 15:31:05 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have the right to be concerned. I would follow up with your guy and see how far this scholar thing is really going, what does he plan on doing with it? If being a professor at a university is in the making, then I think you should go ahead with your plans.
2006-10-20 13:43:11 · answer #6 · answered by loser 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry him if you have to ask the question.
If you loved him you would marry him without question. It seems to me that 'practicality' should have been of greater concern to you before the issue of marriage ever came up.
Save him the pain and break it off now. I assure you that this marriage will not last if you follow through with it.
2006-10-20 13:41:45 · answer #7 · answered by Corn_Flake 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What the hell, who cares if you are the bread winner, you're right it's not the Victorian Age so quit acting like an old school woman and get a job.
2006-10-20 13:45:05 · answer #8 · answered by Ross B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If it's love, that would bother you so much. I mean, okay, so he might not earn much, but it's what he wants to do. Imagine if it was you, and this guy turned round and said "sorry, you won't be earning enough. We can't get married". How would you feel?
2006-10-20 13:42:45 · answer #9 · answered by Kara 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋