Okay, just to start off, I am not a lesbian, I'm not in the littlest bit attracted to woman. Saying that, here goes, Since I was in high school I have had a problem with guys, I mean guys like me and I like them back, then when they go to kiss me or touch me I get really grossed out and want to vomit. I have slept with four guys in my life, (I'm 20 ) and these four guys have not grossed me out, however probably 10 + guys that have tried to get with me have grossed me out. One if these guys I felt I loved in my heart but when he touched me I felt sick. I was molested by my step dad many times as a little girl and this is all I can figure that comes from however why have the four guys I've been with not gross me out? None of these people even resemble my step dad or his behavoir and every time I find a guy I like, he kisses me or something and that's in, I know it won't work, can anyone give me some advice?
2006-10-20 06:29:55 · 13 answers · asked by curious_and_hopeful 1 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Please, dear, get some counseling. You really need to get this resolved professionally. If I could spend time with you, I would do all I could to help you. You are a sweet girl and deserve a good, happy life. Please get help. I will continue to pray for you, sincerely!
2006-10-20 06:33:20 · answer #1 · answered by Shayna 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I've heard of a lot of people who were abused as children have this same problem. Maybe the guys don't remind you of your stepdad exactly, but probably their actions cause you to subconsciously think of what happened to you and get all grossed out. Have you tried going to a therapist and talking with him/her about it? There are things that can be done to help you out.
Also, I find it curious that you weren't grossed out by the four guys you mentioned. Maybe you're just really choosy and have a really clear idea of what you want in a guy. I know I've felt a little sick once or twice when a guy went for a kiss at the end of the date and I didn't find him at all attractive. Maybe the four guys who didn't gross you out were exactly the type of guy you prefer, like maybe are they a little more sensitive than the average guys you see? That could be why. Mabe you feel like you can let your guard down with those guys but not the others. You really should talk to someone though. It's not weird at all. You'd be surprised how often I've heard about that happening.
2006-10-20 06:41:26 · answer #2 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that. When I was reading your headline--I immediately thought that was the problem. Seek some counseling. Or spend more time with the guy before you do anything physical. Try not to go after guys with the same traits as your step father. And tell someone what your stepfather did. Sometimes resolving the issue will heal you. He deserves to have some punishment meted out to him.
Like I said I am deeply sorry for you, I hope you can overcome it sometime soon.
2006-10-20 06:40:07 · answer #3 · answered by amish-robot 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you are just really grossed out by your stepdad.The boys don't have to resmeble him, you said yourself- it was the touching- that may strike up some experiences you have tried to suppress. A trusted man touched you and hurt you, now your body has started to "generalize" all men's touches as "bad". Your body cannot tell the difference. It is not your fault, nor is it the boy you are interested in's fault either, so I recommend you go to a counselor. I'm sorry you had to go through what you did. Go see a counselor- preferably a woman- and she will help you. They deal with alot of sexual assault so don't be afraid. Good luck.
2006-10-20 06:36:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would think counselling would be a good idea, regardless of the reason why this is happening. I'd also say pheromones has a huge impact. That would explain why you were fine with 4, and the other 10 made turned you off. Pheromones play a part in everything! :-)
2006-10-20 09:22:42 · answer #5 · answered by Nadya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,
I'm very sorry to hear about your past. i would suggest that you get some counselling to pin point the exact issue you have with your relationship with men. in the end you will feel much better and will confront your problem head on which will lead you to have a happy, loving & gross-free relationship because you deserve it! good luck to you, i wish you nothing but the best!
2006-10-20 06:42:40 · answer #6 · answered by sa-da-tay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
via fact they're immature!! What makes me giggle in spite of the undeniable fact that's men who might have intercourse with a woman whilst they're on their era yet get grossed out if she talks approximately tampons. Its additionally an uncomfortable subject for many men.
2016-11-24 19:58:58 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all take a break from trying- trying to make yourself feel comfortable about anything sexual,is trying to force it on yourself- not healthy in the least bit- besides stress is the umber one reson to loose that special feeling....all i really know to say is the next time you like someone- tell the how you are, maybe the biggest help you can get right now is someone in their position really trying to help you- oh and if their solution is to just have sex until your used to it- or anything resembling that - add a ton of laxatives in his drink and remember to tell him "up yours" before you go-of course do this in apublic place, just for safetys sake..... as soon as you find someone who really cares about you- who will do anything to make you comfortable-including waiting, youll probably warm up to him, i know its difficult, but theres a right guy for you- but it may just be the person- im not saying that all those who grossed you before were rapists, im just saying that since youve been hurt in that way youre gauranteed to be on high alert for any kind of unkindness in that area, or any other for that matter. best of luck-and i do realise that its hard to talk face to face w/ someone about this- mainly because some guys just see that as baggage, but most wouldnt, and communication about it would also tell you what kind of person he is- i hope you find someone who you can be comfortable with- and whatever you do, stop feeling like it something wrong with you, always go with your instincts....
2006-10-20 06:45:13 · answer #8 · answered by nickname4anne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being molested leaves lifelong scars.Get some professional assistance.You need to work through those issues as best you can,or you will have more and more baggage dumped on as you get older.Help yourself then the rest will work itself out.
2006-10-20 08:04:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the other answerers who have suggested counseling.
2006-10-21 20:01:57 · answer #10 · answered by Elaine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋