My dating partner (47 year old) and I (28 year old) had been dating for 13 months. On Oct 13th, 2006, when I told him that I was pregnant with his children (8 weeks-twins), the guy wanted to leave me alone, not wanted to be with me and the baby, denied that it's not his baby, or trying to avoid taking responsibility for the baby. I am an international student, No family in Canada. The guy even threatened to not go for DNA test if I decide to deliver the babies. He asked me to talk to his lawyer and said in Canada No court order can force him to do the DNA test. In the other word, I can't prove he is the bio-father of the twins seeking some child support in the future. I don't know whether to go for abortion or deliver the babies to punish him. Please help!
2006-10-20 06:17:14 · 23 answers · asked by Lil 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You should have the babies and give them up for adoption... You don't have kids to punish someone that is just ridiculous... I have nothing else to say to you
2006-10-20 06:20:24 · answer #1 · answered by doll face 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, your babies shouldnt have to die because their father is a dillhole. Thats just retarded.
Put them up for adoption if you dont want them.
Or better yet, be an adult and get your own lawyer, or call family services and find out just what can be legally done. I think he's just BSing you. I dont live in canada, but i cant believe they have a law that makes it impossible to do DNA testing. All child support cases everywhere are based on the FACT that the child(ren) are bioligically the parents. They have to do some sort of testing.
Theres always an option for your children besides the death penalty. Think it over a little better. and next time, dont make babies you dont want with men who have no contractual obligation to you.
2006-10-20 06:21:59 · answer #2 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he was dead set against having kids. Did your birth control fail or was this intentional? Anyways, it's happened so you have to deal with it. He's right in that he doesn't have to do a paternity test if he doesn't want to. Being adamant about not doing it tells me he's either too cheap to want to pay the bill (it's about 1000 CAD) or he's pretty sure the kids are his and he won't admit it so he doesn't have to pay child support. Get your own lawyer and discuss your options. Having an abortion is completely up to you and only you know what's right in this situation, but trying to punish him by having children is just not going to work. You'll end up punishing the children instead and they're not the ones at fault here.
2006-10-20 06:27:52 · answer #3 · answered by chicchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...first of all don't have the babies to punish him, that's SO childish! If you're not ready for 2 kids, it's your right to have an abortion or give them up for adoption. I'm from the US, so I can't speak to Canadian law, but I think he's lying to you. Most civilized countries will let you have a DNA test so you can exclude him as the dad or get child support. Find out the law, don't take his word for it! I hope you learn a lesson from this -- get married before you have sex or use 2 forms of protection so you don't get pregnant or get an STD. Good luck.
2006-10-20 06:22:53 · answer #4 · answered by Rwebgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should keeep the babies. He actually has a right to have a DNA test alot woman tell men that they are the father and they really aren't. Let him have the test and when it proves their his, he's going to have to pay child support. Advice for you: Next time you date someone make sure that you know what their intentions are, if they want kids etc.make sure they are really into you and not just using you for sex. It sounds to me like you really didn't have much communication in the relationship. Hopefully he rethinks everything and you two can work it out. Maybe the news was overwhelming for him. Good luck!!!
2006-10-20 06:26:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh he is VERY wrong!!
You have your babies and that loser will pay through his ass for those kids in Canadian law. Guaranteed!
Name him as the father on everything that requires it and when the babies are delivered get a lawyer. If he refuses to pay support HE will be FORCED to "prove" he is not the father, not the other way around.
Sorry to hear that this guy won't be there but you are obviously better off without him. Keep those precious twins and don't worry, the law is on your side.
2006-10-20 06:22:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As I see it you have three choices:
1. abortion
2. have it and keep it
3. give it up for adoption
He may be wrong saying that no one can force him for a DNA test. You can take him to family court or civil court to have a judge order a dna test and child support.
But before you make that decision--can you honestly take care of kids at this stage in life?
In the future, don't date people that much older than you. One, there must be something wrong with their personality if they are still single at that age, and two, have you ever thought why an old person wants with a young girl? Also don't have sex with people freely--its always up to you and your self respect.
2006-10-20 06:28:01 · answer #7 · answered by graduate student 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg...have the babies cause you WANT them, not to PUNISH HIM!!! Sounds like you need to kick him to the curb! I would look into canadian laws. Seems silly if you file for support that they can't get him to take a dna test to prove he's the dad. I would talk to a lawyer!
2006-10-20 06:22:33 · answer #8 · answered by zoe and skylar's mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Delivering the babies should not be meant as a punishment. Babies are beautiful beings, and they should be treated with all the respect and love you have in you.
Deliver them, and put them up for adoption.
Or keep them and have a happy life taking care of them without the jerk in your life. It's hard, but lots of women do it/are doing it every day.
Don't kill them.
2006-10-20 06:22:33 · answer #9 · answered by OOgaCHucka 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your going to have the babies just to punish him, you need help. I suggest not an abortion, but possibly adoption so your babies can have a great life with people who want them. Next time use protection.....
2006-10-20 06:21:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Canadian Children's Rights Council is a good source to research for the answers you need... do not decide if you want your child based on a man .... make the decision based on what is best for you.... at the end of the day your child will depend on you for his/her complete care...
this also must be said... sister this man is playing you.... take time and really evaluate your relationship
2006-10-20 06:31:06 · answer #11 · answered by ladyqueenbeeee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋