Last year my boyfriend cheated on me. We are in our 30's and live together and stayed together. Tonight I am going out with some girlfriends from work to Applebees. He does not want me sitting at the bar. This really bothers me because I feel he is a hippocrate. I can be trusted and am going out with my friends and not to pick anyone up. Does he have the right to request this of me?
2006-10-20 06:02:11 · 32 answers · asked by briandjoesmom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Would you agree to avoid the bar if he wasn't a lying cheater? Or are you pissed off that your lying cheater is acting like you're the one who can't be trusted?
In my opinion, if this were a relationship based on love, trust and respect, he would never consider your presence at Appleby's bar to be a threat. But since lying, cheating and mistrust have stained the relationship, these issues will continue to surface, whether he has the right to make demands or not.
2006-10-20 06:08:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems like you forgave him for cheating on you. If you truely forgave him then he has the right to say if something makes him unconfortable just as you have the right to tell him. That doesnt mean he has the right to tell you what to do just how he feels about it. Just because he made a mistake doesnt mean you have the right to hold it over his head forever. Not sure why he does not want you to sit at the bar, sounds like he has some trust issues.
2006-10-20 06:07:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, he doesn't....in a relationship, honesty is the most important part, but, if one requests certain things NOT to do, as in sitting at a bar with your girlfriends, well, it only says one thing about that person....they are a VERY INSECURE individual, and the requesting of not to do this will only increase in time...my best advice to you, perhaps its time to sit down and think what you really want in a partner....and then, GO FOR IT.....
2006-10-20 06:07:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
People who can't be trusted find it hard to trust others.
He may have a weakness that caused him to cheat and is afraid that you may succumb to that as well. Are you sure he cheated on you once? If it was more than once, then I think you should separate from him and have a happy life where you may do what you want. You need confidence to move on and not feel the need to be with someone who mistreats and mistrusts you.
2006-10-22 01:31:57 · answer #4 · answered by peppermint_paddy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's fine don't sit at the bar. Like they say learn which battles to pic and that is not one of them. What can you do at the bar that you cant do at a table. You are stilll out and with your girls. You can stil do what you do. Have fun he will be OK. Just remember something else will come up and that will be the battle not this. "Girl go out and then Saturday or Sunday go to the mall and get that outfit or something that you want and have him to pay for it" that's what you do
2006-10-20 06:29:52 · answer #5 · answered by mzpink_314 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Considering i guess you both talked about how he cheated on you and you sorted it out then in a way yes. But you should turn around and say that if you and your friends decide to sit at the bar that he should not worry as you have no intentions on talking with guys. etc.
2006-10-20 06:06:23 · answer #6 · answered by angelic_devil30 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship needs to be based on trust. Most people who are accusing other people of cheating or who are acting so insecure are being hypocrites and are actually the ones who ARE cheating.
He has every right to ask you to not do it.... but you have every right to tell him to shut the hell up and do it if you want to. If you can't trust each other, what's the point of your relationship?
2006-10-20 06:05:14 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's "cheater's syndrome" and common. He thinks you might take this as an opportunity to get him back and pick up a guy. Because he knows that he would be thinking of picking up a girl if he was there instead of you. He probably can't be trusted, and knows it. Do you and him a favor, dump him and let him go be free to do what he will.
2006-10-20 06:11:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he feel that he has the right because he knows what he would do if he sat at the bar. you do as you please if you feel in your heart that you can turn down a request then sit at the bar. tell him that he cant run your life and that you are not looking for no one just chill that you are going out with the girls and not the guys. good luck and have lots of fun with the girls.
2006-10-20 06:05:49 · answer #9 · answered by kathy froggylady40 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no he doesnt, he is just insecure! i been through the same situation as you. but you need to remeber that sometimes the accuser should really be the accuse`. He feels bad that he cheated on you and now feels that you might want to get back at him. let him know that you forgive him and that you have he cannot be the only person that you have to hang out with. sometimes you need a little space from each other to get along.
2006-10-20 06:04:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋