I have been in a relationship with a man for a few years now and he is married with one child! :( He initially told me when we met they were getting divorced once she was settled..it hasn't happened... My heart is so far into it I was devastated but have not found the strength to move on.
He swears he is in love with me and wants to be with me but is that really possible? He only has one child and I see no reason for him not to make a decision if his feelings are so strong. Is it possible for someone to have an affair and really love the "other woman"? Or am I fooling myself and just a convenient piece for him.
I want to believe he really loves me? So much time invested...we talk everyday, business trips together, started a business together, I know and do so much with him. His wife has no idea about me.
Its breaking my heart I also feel bad for her. So crazy!
2006-10-20 05:50:18 · 49 answers · asked by Lisa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's definitely possible that he "loves" you but it is obvious that he is not capable of "loving" you. He may very well love both of you but he respects neither. If he does ever leave his wife (which he probably won't) the statistics say he will cheat on you as well. You need to find someone who deserves you, respects you and KNOWS how to love you.
2006-10-20 05:53:10 · answer #1 · answered by Nunya 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It will break your heart too end this affair but I think in your heart you know that's the only thing you can do. You have invested a lot of time into a relationship that is going nowhere. He has no intentions of getting a divorce. But you know, ask yourself this question...Even if he did get a divorce, would you ever really trust him? He's been having this affair with you for years, and contining too make his wife think they have a happy marriage..Do you think he wouldn't do the same thing too you?
Yes, I would think that It is possible too "love the other woman" but not in the same sense that he loves his wife. He's made a home and has a child with his wife, and probably has no intentions of leaving her. If you end this affair I think you might be suprised at how fast you hear that he's involved with someone else. You are wasting time with this guy, you need too end it so you can get on with your life and find someone that deserves your love,. It will be really hard too break up, but stay strong,you can do this.!
2006-10-20 06:28:59 · answer #2 · answered by Rose T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the oldest lie in the book. Yes, a man can love 2 women but why would he leave his wife if you're available for him 24 hours. He's getting the best of both worlds. He has a child right, this means he and his wife are also having sex. Do you really want this man if he does leave his wife? Remember, if he does it with you, he'll do it to you. Girl, you're not the first and you won't be the last. I hope another woman does this to you when you get married and have a child so you know what it feels like.
2006-10-20 06:07:55 · answer #3 · answered by me 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Think about this, you said that your heart is too far into it and you haven't found the strength to end it. He probably feels the same way about his wife. First of all, never get involved with a married man, even if he is persistent. You would be a mad B**** if another woman was with your husband, regardless to who made the first move. If it was over between him and his wife you would have seen signs such as, the wife knowing about you, him living with you and not her and most importatnly an actual divorce in progress. You will probably start to feel bad for yourself if his wife finds out.
2006-10-20 06:17:17 · answer #4 · answered by Keke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the problem. IF you are satisfied with the relationship as it now exists, then the only thing that needs to concern you is how will this end. It will probably end badly as you yourself forsee. When you develop an intimacy with someone based on what they say instead of what IS it is very difficult be on safe ground. Seems to me that you need to ask yourself if this guy is a good prospect for the long term no matter what the current situation. Then, perhaps the next question is is it better to continue as you are with what you see as a bad end with all the pain that would entail or go through the pain of ending the relationship now. Not a good situation is it?
2006-10-20 06:24:34 · answer #5 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a pretty smart young lady. You and I both know that this is doomed. there is no nice way to put it. He is having his cake and eating it too. If he really wanted to be with you he would be, there would be no wife. Please don't fall for the I want to leave her but I can't routine that is Bull ! You can do much better than that you don't have to take leftovers. If it was the other way around and you were the wife How would you feel? Right now is the time to sacrifice your own desires for what is right !You need to leave that married man alone ! when he divorces his wife then you can be with him. Until then don't wait around accepting what he has left for you. You deserve a full time man
2006-10-20 06:06:04 · answer #6 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me put it too you straight. If he's having an affair with you , trust and believe he's having an affair with someone else other than you! You need to leave him, because in most states at the longest it takes 6 months to get a divorce.. You don't want to get yourself all worked up on empty promises, and possibly get yourself more involved in some crazy three ring circus type sh&^.. Leave the man and make sure your business papers are all in tack before you do..You may even have to get a lawyer to make sure he isn't screwing you there too.. MEN WILL TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR !!! Get with the program and get out of that relationship.. You should never want to be second!!!
2006-10-20 05:56:05 · answer #7 · answered by chubbie dumplins 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You want this put into perspective my dear? You're not going to like it but I will be blunt.
He has no intention of leaving his family for you. He has a kid. Child support payments until the kid's 18. Alimony...she'll get the house, him the mortgage. How many vehicles in the family? Nice ones? He wants to keep at least one of those too.
You...well....you've provided many hours of enjoyment for him on the side. It's easier paying you lip service than paying the wife the aforementioned. Oh...and no...you do not feel bad for her. If you did...had you...you wouldn't have entered into this quagmire to begin with. So...no crocodile tears. I'm not fooled if perhaps some other less than perceptive people are.
To put it on the table...you've been used. Sexually, emotionally and for what? What'd you gain from all of this? Other than misery which frankly you've brought onto yourself. Oh...a business partner and a bed mate on business trips. Sorry....you ask if you're a convenient "piece" for him.
Yep. You are.
2006-10-20 06:14:52 · answer #8 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's really pathetic. Like some of the other answers I've read, why do you want to be the other woman? How could you want to be the other woman? I don't understand what goes through the heads of women that date MARRIED men. He is committed to his wife and obviously, not leaving her for you. His poor wife is sitting home thinking he is somewhere he's not. Why would you want to be with a man that will cheat and lie to his wife? From my opinion, don't ever date a married man. Once a cheat, always a cheat.
2006-10-20 06:42:22 · answer #9 · answered by Sandy C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience, he won't leave. I found out the guy I was dating was married. When I confronted him, he said they were separated and in the process of getting a divorce... Ha!! Right! I was stupid enough to believe him. 6 months after I first confronted him, I got a call on my cell- FROM HIS WIFE!!! He and I were both in the military and she was going to tell my chain of command (my bosses) and get me in trouble. All the while, he is assuring me that they are almost divorced, he loves me, he would do anything to make me happy!! The nerve!! I broke it off with him almost 2 years ago. I talked to an old friend the other day who filled me in on the happenings of the old boyfriend. Shock, Shock. He's still married, but now he is dating another idiot who is falling for his lines- the same way I did...
2006-10-20 05:57:54 · answer #10 · answered by baby_girl_8881 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
girl plz.. u need to move on.. thats not fair to his wife, and its not fair to u. how long has he been married? do u know how hard it is to break away from a marriage, especially if there's a child involved? u really need to find a man of your own.. If i ever found out my husband did that crap to me..OH MY GOD.. I'ts a ball game.. That is soooo wrong.. the day he told u he was married should've been the last time u speak to him unless he came at u with divorce papers.. thats how i see it...
I really dont understand women who fall inlove with married men..
thats crazy.. and stupid... why would u put urself in a position like that..
u really should get over him and cut off all ties, so it doesnt get any further. and what make u think what he's doing to his wife now, he won't do to u?
Like they say once a cheater always a cheater..
2006-10-20 06:05:09 · answer #11 · answered by Sicilian Princess 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋