What do you do to stop bullying at school?

Question

My 15 year old son has recently become the target of a little punk with a much bigger friend. What do I tell him to do to stop it? He wants to avoid a fight and doesn't want to get into trouble. He's a really good kid and pretty popular. How can he handle this before we have to intervene and go to school?

Answer 1

Thanks for a great question. You should alert the school and the teacher. This is a big problem today in schools and in society. I think we need to educate people to recognize and report this to the authorities. Also, if people as a group are taught to look out for each other, the bully will not continue. The first step is to report and then as a group stand against the bully. This is another type of terrorism. We need neighborhood watches to help locate terrorist and report them to the police. An army can fight an army or destroy a country, but is a great target for terrorist. Our best defense against the bully and the terrorist is people.


How to deal with bullying:
• Tell your parents or other trusted adults. They can
help stop the bullying.
• If you are bullied at school, tell your teacher,
school counselor, or principal. Telling is
not tattling.
• Don’t fight back. Don’t try to bully those who
bully you.
• Try not to show anger or fear. Students who bully
like to see that they can upset you.
• Calmly tell the student to stop…or say nothing
and then walk away.
• Use humor, if this is easy for you to do. (For
example, if a student makes fun of your clothing,
laugh and say, “Yeah, I think this shirt is kind of
funny-looking, too.”)
• Try to avoid situations in which bullying is likely
to happen. You might want to
• Avoid areas of the school where there are not
many students or teachers around.
• Make sure you aren’t alone in the bathroom
or locker room.
• Sit near the front of the bus.
• Don’t bring expensive things or lots of money
to school.
• Sit with a group of friends at lunch.
• Take a different route through hallways or
walk with friends or a teacher to your classes.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, I think, that until all adults can be convinced that bullying is a problem, we'll always have bullies. I was bullied as a child - and I got it to stop by knocking the daylights out of a kid. But, this isn't a solution. When my child gets bullied, this is what I've done. I keep a journal of what exactly is happening. (You should too, if you're the one being bullied. Always keep a record - date it, and outline exactly what's happening. Tape record it, video, whatever you have to do) If you have a school handbook that states something like "every kid has a right to be safe in school" use this to your advantage. A kid who gets bullied apparently doesn't have this right. I speak to the teacher. (which, as a rule is useless, but part of the chain) If possible, I talk to the parent. (Sometimes this helps, but it depends on the parent) If these 2 things don't work, I have a letter that I send to the principal, parent, and teacher which outlines exactly what I'm going to do if th bullying continues. If it happens again, the letter says: I will go to the school, and insist on the cops being called. I will insist that the bully's parents be pulled away from work (esp since I'm calling the cops on their kid) I will demand a report. All documentation I've collected to this point will be put in an envelope and will be delivered to the school board. I'll get a lawyer. I will sue the pants off the parents, the school board and anyone else involved. I send this letter to the principal, vice principal, teacher, and I request (in the letter) that the letter be put in my kids file and the bully's file. They usually don't do this, but, since I have a copy, a hard copy and computer copy, I don't worry about it - it'll be their butts, not mine. This is *my* zero tolerance rule for bullies. I don't put up with it, period, and I make life miserable for everyone till it's resolved. Once I start talking lawsuit, the adults take notice. They realize I'm not going to let my kid get bullied because they can't control their kid. Amazing how fast they learn when money is at stake.

Answer 3

Well if your son is popular than make sure he is with a lot of his friends when possible.... Otherwise the best way is to have him ignore the bully. Its the best idea not to get into a fight but he should know how to defend himself ... Tell him to privately talk to a teacher or principle to let him know he is having problems with the kid (so IF something physical were to happen... they have a report of the stuff the other bully would do) . Honestly ive dealt with bullies before growing up..and the best way I dealt with them was to ignore them and stand up for yourself nonviolently. I can almost gaurantee they wont do anything in a place where people are watching...and if your son acts not scared and has his friends around eventually he will stop most likely.
Like when i got picked on in jr high school...i was sitting at a table with some kids and this bigger kid i knew came up and kept telling me to move... i just kept saying no and calmly (on the outside..i was scared on the inside) eating my sandwich... eventually he just got pissed that i wasnt backing down nor was i showing him much attention...he just growled and stormed off and actually never bothered me again ( and he had bothered me a lot before that) ...best way is to not act scared...show him that he has no real power over you, but also be prepared to defend yourself on the rare occasion the bully goes that extra step. Just make sure your son doesnt start it.

Answer 4

I was bullied throughout my childhood, so I have some experience in the matter. Unfortunately, you will have to report the bullying to school officials if you wish to prevent further belligerence. Do not allow the conflict to escalate to a fight because the school will penalize your son for defending himself. At twelve I was suspended for protecting myself after three children, all aged fourteen, decided it would be fun to beat me. Ensure that the school officials don’t brush you off; by demanding that action be taken otherwise the bully will retaliate. If you have to threaten to involve the police, as physical violence is an act of assault, then do so. However, bullying is an important issue today in America, as the repercussions are now evident, so they should take the matter seriously. Also if you son is just experiencing taunting instruct him to "laugh it off". Many bullies pick on children because they want to appear "cool" around their peers or they seek attention. If he laughs at what they say and doesn't take it seriously, they will be dumbfounded.

P.S. Bullying probably wont scar your son life, so don’t threat too much. It might actually instill important life lessons. Despite bullying I graduated at sixteen, as valedictorian, and I currently maintain a healthy social lifestyle.

Answer 5

I would inform the school. Explain the situation to them but you have to make sure they understand that they don't let the bullies know that you called in, it will make it worse. But if it looks like they just noticed what was happening then the bullies will be more likely to cool off a little. It may not stop it but it may keep it from getting physical.

Answer 6

You must intervene and go to the school. Unfortunately, many times these children who act in this manner will not stop until they are forced to. And these children have probably been doing this for sometime, however, no one ever brings it to the attention of the school administration. Do the right thing and go to the school and schedule a conference. Better safe than sorry. Good luck and God bless

Answer 7

Go to the school authority and tell them that they need to take serious steps toward mitigating the matter, unless you would file a lawsuit against them. Remember to be very firm. School authorities should handle this because it is within their control.

Answer 8

well i get bullyed all the time and the school dont want to anything about it so i went to my teachers and they barley help then i went to my friends and they told me to report it should i take care of it by myself

Answer 9

Just go to the school...

Answer 10

fight back, if he gets his @ss kicked thats part of growing up, teach him some dirty moves..